#this one took fucking forEVEr because the last time i was watching tv was sunday and then i didnt sleep

[bylightofdawn]

My work decided randomly at the end of last year that they were going to move the cap for PTO from 100 hours to 80.

I am a very dedicated (read stupidly obsessed with being dependable and diligent worker bee) Capricorn that exudes so much Capricorn energy you can prolly read it from orbit so suffice to it so say I have over 100 hours of banked PTO and was at risk of losing 20 some odd-hours. This is after I took two vacations last year so yeah I was kinda not happy with this new policy.

Soooooo I requested that time off before it expires on the 15th and ya girl now has 5 whole days back to back off starting tomorrow.

I'd originally planned to make a trip to Houston but sadly, I can't afford it thanks to getting the plague after my last mini vacation in December and my check on the 31st wasn't what I was expecting it to me.

Which, eh no big deal I'll just enjoy this time and do a staycation instead for the next 5 days.

I'm going to do some spring cleaning and rearranging of my apartment. My mother has been trying to fob some furniture off on me for years so I've decided to get rid of this 96 inch metal baker's rack that was housing all of my dvds and various fandom crap like lose figures and the like.

On Sunday, i went through all my DVD's BluRays etc, took them all out of the boxes and recycled them and started to put them into a binder. I had to buy a BIGGER one because 270 something wasn'r enough. All together with some DVD's being doubled up like bluray/dvs combos. I filled up a 400 space binder.

What. The. Fuck.

And that's not counting the things I didn't get rid of because it was specialty cases or things like my Red vs Blue and Star Wars stuff or ANY Of my many, many TV shows. I think I'm going to get a separate binder for those and then keep the cases but put them in a box to free up space so I can hopefully get shit down to one book shelf so I can get a small couch or love seat in my living room.

That ain't happening tomorrow though. Tomorrow is me time, I am going to play video games, read and write and then start cracking on that stuff on Monday.

The only thing that could make this vacation better was if I could get a massage or something stupidly self-indulgent like that.

So here's crossing my fingers and hoping I make some head-way in my new JasPlo fic. I'm debating breaking my own rules and posting things as I write rather than once I've finished just to see if the stress of keeping people waiting would be enough to motivate hibernating motivation or if the stress would just make me not want to write at all.

I mean is it really the end of the world if I have a WIP that hasn't been touched in six months? I dunno. I feel like my own innate sense of guilt would eat at me and I'd prolly crater like a house of cards the first time I get some shithead self-entitled comment asking why I haven't updated.

Which, LBR prolly won't happen cause how many people are going to be reading some super rarepair fic to begin with and I don't think I attract that sort of attention so no way that would even happen.

Most of the time I just feel like I'm putting stuff out into the void. Which, I'm not complaining about but I just really doubt that sort of scenario would happen.

But....you tell that to my guilt complex. I was definitely catholic in another life and have apparently carried said guilt into my next life.

Useless Edit: I ended up getting 90% of my tv series in the binder that held 270 something dvds. When did I buy all this shit that realistically I will never watch again because I own a chunk of them on digital now anyway.

I’m going to see if I can sell the random Smallvile seasons 4-10 and random Naruto seasons at Half Priced books since I’m well past my Naruto phase and what’s her faces sexual assault scandals kinda ruined the show for me forever. Same reason I got rid of all of my Kevin Spacey dvds when I was going through my dvds. But I forgot I bought both seasons do BBC’s Musketeers and I lowkey kinda want to rewatch it now. I also forgot I had seasons 1-4 of Scrubs which is one of my lowkey favorite series ever. I’m kinda excited by the things that got kinda lost in my collection. I found my Dark Angel series and kinda want to add that to the list as well

So series wise I’m pretty set. I don’t know if I’ll be watching any of my dvd or blu rays though. I plan on taking my binder of movies over to my moms house since she doesn’t know how to run Netflix ffs so the know she will get some use out of them. Or at least more than me.

I guess this semi counts as a declutter, yes? Pffft

[july-19th-club]

Recap for Roswell: New Mexico S2E12: “Crash Into Me”: con drama 

Buckle up: we are officially in the home fucking stretch. The compounding lies in the Max/Liz relationship (each constructed out of a misguided attempt to ‘protect’ the other, each digging deeper and wider holes that will eventually connect, like the holes in the movie Holes, into a small canyon of deceit)are getting bigger. Liz groks the excessive antidote use; Max is bursting lightbulbs in the desert (is this his ‘light cardio’? it’s like he’s asking to have another heart attack). Meanwhile they only halfway resolve their fight about her continued interest in using alien DNA to solve every health issue in the world. They’re able to avoid these couples’ trust issues because they have much bigger problems, but stressful times are no cure for unresolved arguments. We’re building toward an impasse here, folks.

Meanwhile, we get some rapid-fire exposition via Isobel, who mind-reads her niece Mimi and learns that, whatever else is going on with Helena, she has known Rosa’s been alive all season. It’s revenge that drives her. But time-untethered Mimi feels absolutely certain that Helena wouldn’t do anything to hurt the missing members of our party (or, she says later, “our girls” - so sans Charlie, maybe she’s not talking about them). When Helena says she’s going to war, does she mean at Jesse’s side or...secretly against him? We’ve all seen how well it goes when one of our heroes tries to break stuff from the inside, but maybe she’s devious enough to succeed where the much less seasoned Alex failed? It’s interesting to have her here, and she’s becoming a much more faceted character than originally supposed, but I also can’t help but feel that her connections to the overall plot are rather rushed for the sake of a late-season reveal. It’ll even out if we get more of her later, but for now I feel like I’m scrambling to catch up. 

It’s clear from the outset that Michael’s incentive to work on the biobomb - seeing Alex - is never going to come to fruition, at least if their captors get what they want. What they want is for Michael and Charlie to complete a weapon for finely-tuned ethnic cleansing, a weapon whose initial component Charlie invented for what she naively thought would be “good, in the right hands.” But it’s like she said earlier in the season; she has learned too late that any invention, no matter how benevolently thought up, can be put to a destructive use. And even her initial reasons weren’t entirely benevolent - she told Liz she was thinking about its medical applications, but she tells Michael now she was also thinking about its wartime uses. And it’s the military: they’re gonna go for the ethnic cleansing. It doesn’t take two geniuses trapped in a room with unassembled bomb parts to figure the ideal test target is likely to be the aliens, nor to realize it wouldn’t stop there. Now they are become death - if they do what they’re told. 

Max and Cam are back together, buddy copping their way through the last of the Valenti connections - it was Jim who helped get Rosa to the pod, who probably hoped, before his death, that Noah would help him revive her. Helena has kept a ton of his stuff, and from the looks of it was mourning him for years. He also comes clean to Cam about his antidote usage after she hounds him a bit about his sweaty, clammy looks. He keeps hoping it will give him a clue to his pre-crash identity, pushing at the boundaries of his health in the chance that he’ll remember something important. Maybe he’ll listen to a warning from Cam that he won’t listen to from Liz...but I wouldn’t count on it. 

Meanwhile, back at the kidnapping, Michael points out the obvious: his work on the bomb is complete, and he’s still alive. This points to bigger goals than ‘just kill a couple of aliens,’ and because he is Michael and never met an authority figure he couldn’t mouth off to, he tries to...well, negotiate would be a strong word. But he pleads with Helena to reconsider - her daughters will never forgive her - though she says that ship has sailed. And for that matter, she’s probably right. But she does concede that her goals don’t align completely with the Manes’, and offers a third version of the disaster adage those guys are always spouting off. Is she a mole? 

If I were kidnapping someone, and he happened to carry around with him at all times a blunt object that he could use either to hit me and possibly overpower me or to merely run away from me, I too would steal it from him and hide it where he couldn’t get it. As a sibling, however, if my brother had a tool he required in order to walk, I probably wouldn’t steal it from him and hide it where he couldn’t get it, unless I was being a real dick. It is in this situation that we at last find Alex, who probably never assumed that he’d have to worry about leg thieves on top of everything else he’s been through. And, characteristically, leg theft is far from his biggest worry in today’s lineup of events. There’s also murderous sibling, murderous parent, love of his life in danger of both regular death and death by hypertargeted ethnic cleansing...the list goes on. What a fuckin’ year, huh? 

Their reunion is brief but tender, and no sooner has Michael fallen not entirely platonically into his arms than he’s added another problem to the list: Helena’s version of fighting from the inside is to swap components in the building process. Her target is Maneses; Jesse specifically, as Jim’s murderer, but she’ll be happy to take Flint down with him. Presumably, those of his sons outside the blast zone will be spared. Michael, for Alex’s sake, still intends to try and do something about the attack - but also for Alex’s sake, refuses to rescue him just yet. Ah, a classic lover’s quarrel.

In the lull before the big CrashCon showdown, we have time for another, rather worse, one. Max says Jesse Manes is a murderer (and was planning on adding to his body count) and deserves what’s coming to him, even if Helena’s methods are extreme (true). Liz says any crime committed by a member of a marginalized group gets fixated on, and creates backlash against, that group, and she has a right to be terrified and upset about the idea of her mother getting caught (true). Liz says that anyone who is a member of the acceptable class or can pass within it cannot possibly ‘get’ the experience of someone who can’t or doesn’t (true). Max says Liz’s attempts to gain recognition through her scientific work smack of glory-chasing and that she can’t exceptional-minority-myth her way to world-saving happiness (...true). They’re getting further away from the task by the minute, and closer to the crux of the problem between them. Liz’s perfectionism and sense of achievement have always been about both fear and obsession, but she’s not the only one with a chip on her shoulder about saviorism. I mean, it’s Max. The impasse is creeping - no, hurtling - into sight. 

And then we’re in the home stretch’s home stretch. In the course of their argument, Liz talks her way into one of the biggest flaws in her mother’s revenge plan - it can’t be turned into a quiet affair. Jesse’s a noted glory hound himself, and he would receive no recognition from the deaths of a few small-town citizens of seemingly arbitrary causes, especially since this first group of targets can pass for majority. He would want his work, and his reasons, noted and agreed with. He would want funding and approval, would want to ensure that he could keep using his weapon, for whatever purposes he deemed fit. He would need the genuine article if he wanted to convince his public that the threat he’s ‘defeating’ is real. And he has one: the rebuilt remains of Nora’s last project, now in the hands of that annoying museum curator and on full display in the middle of the fairground. Max reckons he knows what it is (remote for a ship; Michael gives him the most incredulous ‘what’ which seems more to do with the fact that he’s being shown up on alien mechanics by Max of all people) - but what it is seems far less important at this juncture than what it does, which is, historically, to explode very easily. It’s being stored in the most fire-hazardous way possible, the better to discreetly set it off. The blast will create the right environment for Jesse to launch his DNA bomb, and the paper trail he’s laid out will lead straight to his victims. One has to assume that Helena did not know the full extent of this plan; for all her impulsiveness, lack of foresight, and personal weaknesses she is not the kind of person who would allow a collateral damage as large as we’re looking at just to ensure the death of one man. 

Speaking of, let’s talk about villain motives. Last year’s villain was one man, who used his relative anonymity to manipulate, abuse, and kill individuals who were equally as overlooked as he was. His death and the aftermath of what he’d done could only be talked about freely among a small group of people, most of them his surviving victims. In a small-town story, even the most brutal struggles exist on the micro scale; conflicts are between individuals, and perhaps that’s why it took me nearly as long as the characters to fully grasp the impact of this new antagonist’s motives. Even though Jesse Manes started out talking about large-scale things, he had gradually fallen into the general background layer of feuding and rivalry, and just like his son, I underestimated him. The conflict is bigger than his attempts to live up to what he perceives as his family’s legacy. It is bigger than a grieving woman trying to end him in a way she feels is fitting to his crimes. It is bigger than his hatred for a specific group of three people living quiet lives in Roswell. 

If he fails tonight, he will likely hardly suffer. Sure, he’s literally planning a terror attack, but he is a white, resspected veteran, and society will find a way to excuse his actions even as our heroes, lest they risk exposure, struggle to provide proof of what he’s capable of. Succeeding, he will harm, probably kill, dozens of people (and that’s a conservative estimate), adding to the already boiling atmosphere of xenophobia and intolerance that informs not only his worldview but that of half of his children, many of his neighbors, and absolutely his authorities. The stakes are not tidy or personal now. 

I’ll admit, I was surprised to see ‘conspiracy thriller’ win out over ‘revenge killing’ - though not displeased. This show sometimes stumbles into or out of its forays into social and political commentary, but in the final stretch of the episode it fires on all cylinders. Our little Scooby Gang isn’t the cast of Person of Interest; they’ve never had to thwart domestic terrorism before. They’re a bunch of mostly-unemployed twenty-nine-year-olds, and the only one with anything approaching experience is chained up miles away so he doesn’t die in Helena’s counterattack. But not for long. Our local cinderella man (trapped by a cruel family, wants to go to the festival, looking for a lost foot shoe) is fully fed up waiting. When Flint next comes in to taunt him, he figuratively jumps at the opportunity. First he appeals to compassion - not that Flint has that anymore. Then he tries heritage - it sounds like once upon a time his big brother used to have softness and creative impulses of his own. “When was the last time,” he asks, “that you made something that wasn’t supposed to be destructive?” 

But Flint doesn’t have any respect for weaving, or stories, or the quiet pleasure taken in giving life to something that’s just nice to look at or comforting to wrap around your shoulders. He doesn’t hum new bars of music to himself to while away the captivity. He doesn’t take out his pent-up trauma on something useful, like firewood. He’s got one hobby, and that’s being the best Manes man he can be. Dad didn’t mess him up! It’s just Alex that’s that way! Alex is the pathetic one. He and Clay turned out fine! (Up to this point, I had forgotten Clay existed. This may actually be the first time Brother #4’s name has even been mentioned. Wherever he is, he sounds like a chip off the old block). Even Gregory’s going to CrashCon! By now he is right up in Alex’s face, which means he’s within kicking distance. Cinderella brains Drizella and grabs the keys. Risk of dying in a targeted DNA bomb be damned, he’s getting his foot and he’s getting the fuck out of here. 

He arrives after dark, as the rest of the gang try futilely to minimize the damage they know is coming. Liz tears off to the lab, where she concocts something that seems to be working correctly when it explodes a beaker - but she’s followed in secret by Diego, who I guess is already tired of being a tertiary character. Rosa and Maria (and Cam, elsewhere) are trying to figure out how in the hell to evacuate a whole fairground, bumping into Greg Manes (he’s not just your cool brother, he’s a mild-mannered grade school teacher! Good lord!) and awkwardly telling him to get his field trip back on the bus and out of the line of fire. And Michael’s bang on the money when he takes one look at Nora's project and decides Max and his tachycardia aren’t allowed near it because he might accidentally set it on fire. 

Then Flint shows up. He’s overpowered Charlie and arrived with Jesse’s bomb canister (the one Charlie was supposed to dismantle). And then Alex confronts his dad. And then Max decides the most useful thing he can possibly do is singlehandedly try to stop Flint from completing the attack and it’s one exertion too many on top of his constant insistence that he’s totally fine, god, guys, quit making such a big deal about the fact that I almost died of heart failure this year! 

The fireworks have ignited the Highly Flammable Location. Charlie is trapped in the burning house. Jesse is this close to setting off one bomb canister (the one that’ll kill him and also three-quarters of his family). Maria’s finds the other bomb canister and chucks it way out into a field, but not before she starts bleeding in a super-distressing way. Gregory finds his family at the exact wrong time and so does Michael and a shooting seems very extremely imminent. Max tries to hand-kill Flint??? And maybe succeeds? And then has another heart attack — Rosa and Liz stand frantically over him — 

It’s a cliffhanger, folks! We’ll see you next week. 

A fun nod to the fact that these characters would swear so much more if they weren’t on network TV from Rosa, who has resorted to saying ‘give a duck’: “Oh, I just found out about autocorrect, it’s hilarious.” 

Arturo’s Arturo’s Churros hat. That man loves him some novelty headgear.

Alex, in any situation where he could use Michael’s first name: lastnames him

Liz still with the Mikey: exact opposite situation. Trusted friends and research partners can nickname you but the love of your life will call you what he’s called you since twelfth grade because anything else would either indicate a moment too intimate for words or be too weird 

Max, still miffed about not being as much of a Fitness Guy as Kyle and Diego: “I don’t think they drink beers; it’s not keto.” Don’t worry, king, I like your lack of ab definition, and that’s not sarcasm I mean it sincerely. I think you need more of a muffin top.

“I was held hostage, Max! I deserve to ride the Scrambler until I barf cotton candy...and maybe watch a bad man die :)”

In the Manes family, if you are named after a rock or a geographical feature, you’re a really fucked up dude. If you have a basic-guy name you’re chill though 

“She...doesn’t wanna kill aliens?” “Nope. Avenging her murdered lover.” “Oh my god, I love a good telenovela.” This show is a great at being a novela, and I can’t believe I forgot that 

One last ominous nugget to stay up with at night: Jesse tells Alex he should understand collateral damage ‘better than anyone.’ Is he talking about the obvious: he’s missing a limb; he is collateral damage? Or is he talking about some shit Alex did over there that we still don’t know about?

[vroomvroommbtch]

Always been you: Part 2 - DRxfem driver!reader

Masterlist

Summary: Some snuggles and some future plans are all they need as they hide from the world in their own little world.

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x fem driver!reader

Warnings: Some angst, swearing and all the fluff in the world.

Word count: 4.7k

A/N: Holy shit this took me forever. Okay, keeping it short, 246 notes on part 1? Are you all insane? Cant even start to describe how happy that makes me, so I’m just gonna say thank you! It means the world to me for real. Okay, part 3 its gonna be the last one and is on its way. Let me know what do you think that will happen?? 👀 Also should I make like a general taglist?? Let me know that too?? Kay, bye, kisses in all your foreheads and see u soon!♥️✌🏻

---

Part 2.

Everything was perfectly fine between her and Daniel. Everything was easy when they were together. Everything just worked out perfectly, as if they were just meant to be together from the beginning. Being so terrified of admitting her feelings for Daniel felt silly, and she really didn’t understand why she wasted all that time when she could have done it back then when they were teammates. It was so easy that sometimes it was scary, but she loved every single second of it. Everything was easy as it was falling in love with Daniel. She knew it was gonna happen at some point, so after so much time trying to avoid it, she finally let it flow. It happened and didn't take her by surprise at all, especially now that they were together. Besides, loving Daniel was probably the easiest thing she ever did besides driving. It felt like she was meant to drive, but also meant to be by his side and love him. Everything was working perfectly fine, except for work and their schedule, obligations, events, contracts, publicity, filming, photoshoots, interviews and everything that came with being a Formula 1 driver. Between her spending most of her days at the factory in Switzerland, race weeks where they would normally be in different hotels, and then race weekends where they would barely see each other for counted minutes where they would be never alone, it was nothing but hard to spend time together.

Sometimes they would act like they casually stayed in the same hotel and as carefully as possible they would sneak into each other's rooms to at least sleep in the same bed, all knowing their teams had their backs to cover them. Sometimes they would do the same thing in their trailers on some European circuit, saying that if the rest of the drivers could do stuff together, they also could have dinner together. It was almost normal to find Daniel at the door of the Alfa Romeo hospitality to talk to her in the same way he did it more than once going to the Redbull building to talk to Max. It was already a regular thing to find them standing together as they went around the track during the drivers’ parade on Sundays, talking with some other drivers but mostly joking between them. She was normally the one giggling uncontrollably at his silly jokes because he was clearly doing it to make her laugh. But all that always lasted some short minutes, and then it was to work, forgetting they were a couple for the next few hours. It was like switching to a weird flick that made them go from being a couple to being just friends until they left the paddock on Sunday night. It was hard. It was really complicated when they weren’t really doing anything wrong, but it was worth every time they were together. When they managed to sneak some days or even some hours together, it was just pure beautiful bliss and happiness and nobody could take that from them. Sometimes they would manage to spend some days away in some other place, like a week in New York, some extra days in Miami or Montreal, or even one week of the summer break in LA. But besides their little getaways, they were always together in Monaco. The nights they didn’t have plans or things to do, they would normally stay in one of their apartments having dinner, watching tv, fucking each other until they were exhausted and then sleeping tangled in the sheets. It was easy and simple and she loved it. But probably nothing was as easy as seeing Daniel coming home to her. Nothing was as beautiful as to read a text or hear him say over the phone ‘I’m on my way home’ and know that he wasn’t referring to his apartment or hers, he was referring to her. He was coming home to her, not really mattering where she was or where they were going to be. Things were like that from the beginning. After their first kiss and especially after their first dinner –which ended up being their first date and first time together– in her place, they got stuck together and there was nothing anyone could do about it. They started dating that exact same day, not really wanting to play games simply because they were too tired to run around trying to chase each other. From that day things moved fast, probably for the fact that they got counted minutes to be together. They started dating the week after the Imola incident; she managed to run away with him to New York before the Miami race and then stayed with him there until they had to fly back to Europe. In June they sneaked onto the terrace of the hotel, they were ‘accidentally’ sharing in Baku, and she finally admitted that she was in love with him right there, and everything became way better when Daniel said that he loved her too. They spent their first week of summer break together in LA and then they got to meet each other's families and friends as an official couple and something more than just teammates like they did back in their Renault times. It happened fast, but somehow it didn’t feel rushed. It felt right and somehow on time, so they were happy.

But from all that long list of things they did together, her favorite one was when Daniel gave her the keys to his apartment. He did it one day as she was joking about how stupid it was having to wait until he buzzed her in. She didn’t make the comment with double intentions or waiting for something from Daniel; she just threw it out because she really thought it was silly. In fact, she was waiting for some silly joke as an answer, but instead he got up from the couch, came back with the keys in his hand, ready for her to take it. She did take it, but in exchange she gave him a kiss and the promise to give him the keys to her place, whispering in his lips a sweet ‘What’s fair is fair’. That’s how Daniel went to her apartment that night, opening the door with his own keys on one of the counted free weekends they had, right before they left for Singapore and Japan. He came and found her in the kitchen making dinner, and the smile on their faces when they saw each other was just too big, even when their lips were together. The first thing he did was to give her a kiss, but then he wrapped his arms around her waist, letting her finish what she was doing as he covered her neck and shoulders with kisses. They were just too happy in their little bubble of love and happiness, not letting anything ruin it. She promised to herself and to Daniel to not let anything ruin what they had; not people, not racing or anything at all was gonna get in the middle of them and their relationship, and they were keeping their word so far.

They were doing a good job so far, and it was being an easy job to keep their love for each other and their relationship safe in the middle of a crazy bumpy ride, but some days it was harder than others, at least for some minutes. One of those counted moments happened once dinner was done and they were talking, all cuddling on the couch with two glasses of red wine in their hands. Everything was perfectly normal as they were kissing and watching some NBA game that Daniel put on the tv, but then he asked if she had plans for the weekend before they left for Singapore, and she remembered that in fact, she had plans. “Why don’t you come with me? It's just dinner with friends. Antonio is gonna be there and you know him and my friends, so it won't be that bad” she asked, stroking his cheek as she practically begged him to go with her. Normally she wouldn’t don’t do that, but knowing how complicated everything was going to be from that moment to the end of the season, she just wanted to spend as much time as possible with him. “It's just dinner and maybe some drinks but no big deal”

As soon as she saw Daniel’s face, she knew what his answer would be. He didn’t even have to speak for her to know what he was going to say, but she let him answer after he gave her a sweet, short kiss that tasted like nothing but love and fine wine. “I would love to, but if someone sees us we are screwed, babe. Besides what would I be there doing with you and your friends?” Daniel asked, stroking her legs that were resting over his as she was snuggled right by his side and almost on his lap. "We’re friends too. We’re just hanging out with friends. Having dinner ain’t illegal, right?” she shrugged, and even if it was a joke for Daniel, it really wasn’t. Normally he would drop some silly joke about the issue, but this time he just let his head fall over the back of the couch. “Hey, we’re not friends. I spent too much time being your friend and I’m not doing that again. I love you too much to do that” I love you too much to do that” she assured, covering his cheek, jaw and neck with kisses to prove her point. The whole ‘We’re just friends’ thing was probably as hard as hiding. She hated those words as much as Daniel did, but days like that one, it looked like he hated it a bit more. Maybe it was the fact that they were in the friend zone for three long years, but now, every time one of them had to describe their relationship as ‘friendship’ it was like a knife going to throw their hearts. It was nothing but weird to hear people talk about them being one of each other’s best friends when they were planning a future and building a life together.

She could feel his body tense when she said the world ‘friends’, but he relaxed again as soon as the ‘I love you too much’ left her mouth, and then he was back to normal when she kissed his skin, but she could see a little almost imperceptible frown on his forehead. “I love you more” Daniel affirmed, squeezing her waist a bit, turning his head to give her a kiss. It was his brown eyes that could make her do anything. She couldn’t with that warm chocolate color. She couldn’t with the way he looked at her, just as if she was the most precious creature in the universe. She just couldn’t when he looked at her and all she saw was love and adoration. She couldn’t ruin one of the counted free weekends they had, so she took a very easy choice. “I’m gonna reschedule” “No fucking way, babe. We can see each other later. Why don’t you come over when you’re done?” Daniel offered, trying to keep her from doing something silly, but heaven knew that she was damn stubborn, even worse than him. “We could do that, but I’m gonna reschedule” she insisted, snuggling even closer to him if that was even possible, all while she rested her head over his shoulder. “I’m not letting you. I’m calling Antonio myself”

“What if we meet at whenever we go after dinner? You can go with the boys and we pretend we just ran into each other. But no flirting with girls because I’ll kick your ass” she proposed, trying to find a solution to the problem. But her favorite thing was feeling Daniel smiling against her forehead when she dropped the silly comment. She felt his grip around her tightening as he kissed her head, and for a second every single preoccupation disappeared and was replaced with nothing but love no and adoration for the man by her side. “How could I flirt with anyone when I got you? And how am I supposed to keep my hands off you in public?” Daniel asked. Her first response was a little shrug and it was followed by a little kiss on his neck. They had been doing it for a while, but after months it was still hard to keep their hands away from each other when they were in public. Touch was their love language, not matter if it was just hugging, holding hands, or kissing. It was the most normal thing for them to be sitting together and have one hand over the others leg or Daniel’s arm around her waist or shoulders. It was so normal that it was almost impossible to stay away from each other while they were in the paddock. It was normal for her to suddenly feel Daniel’s fingers ghosting over her waist, acting like he was casually resting his hand in some place behind her or to have him standing too close to her, pretending he had no idea what person space was. They really had no idea what personal space there was between them, but she loved it. She loved Daniel with every single fiber of her body, so having him all around her was just too wonderful, just like it was terrible hard abot being able to touch him when he was away, even if for some hours.

“Same way we do it while we work, but we have enough of that bullshit at the track, so that’s why I’m canceling” she insisted again, kissing his neck once more. “No fucking way I’m letting you do that” he repeated, but this time he tickled her, making her lay down on the couch. “I don’t want you to cancel your plans for me, so I’m going with you. I’m telling Michael and Blake to come with me and that’s it. Its not like they don’t know your buddies”. It was that simple answer that made her warm even more. It was the fact that he didn’t want her to change her plans for him and that he was ready to change his so they could spend some extra hours together. She knew it was absolutely normal, but bad luck, bad decisions and clearly a bad taste -that was clearly over- for men made her always pick up the wrong boyfriends. She wasn’t used to having that because somehow all her exes wanted to be the center of her attention, not really understanding how busy her life was and how she was trying to do her best with her life outside racing tracks. Then it was Daniel who just understood everything because his life was even busier than hers. Daniel, who was trying to do everything in his power and putting everything from him so they could make it work together while also trying to protect her and their relationship. Daniel, who was the center of her universe but never wanted her to take time away from her family and friends. Daniel who loved her so much that he was ready to do anything for her, even risking getting caught. “Just know I’ll kick assess if someone gets too friendly with my girlfriend. I won’t care who’s watching” he stared, laying down beside her on the couch, opening his arms so she would get closer.

“Same if someone gets too close to my boyfriend” she smiled as the word ‘boyfriend’ left her lips. She still couldn’t believe Daniel was her boyfriend, so a little smile appeared on her face every time she said it. “You know, the worst part it’s pretending I’m not in love with you. All the time I think someone’s gonna realize and that we’re gonna be screwed” she murmured, placing both hands on his chest while she looked at the pair of brown eyes that she loved so much. “Don’t even mention it. Blake says I need to stop looking like a love-sick puppy all the time. Maybe Netflix makes a whole episode about us” Daniel joked, kissing her forehead and then her nose. “Why do you think they asked us about the other last week?” she asked in case Daniel forgot about what they called ‘The Netflix incident’.

Just like any other weekend, the Netflix team was around doing interviews and filming material for their new season. Everyone was used to seeing cameras and people around the circuit following different teams or drivers, but that last week was particularly different. That week she was supposed to have the Netflix crew with her around the track and going from one place to another in Monza. It was okay after all; she agreed with it because Daniel convinced her it would be fun, but then she found out they were following Daniel, too. Then she realized they were pretty much following them. She tried to ignore it, and that Thursday afternoon she really thought she was going to answer the same all questions about her team, about a particular event or a particular race, but she didn’t. The straightforward question was ‘Are you and Daniel together?’ and she froze. She laughed out of the nervous attack she had at that moment. She laughed in front of the cameras of one of the biggest stream services that existed. She laughed, and she lied and knew if looks could kill, then the big part of the room would be dead and gone. She answered with a simple ‘No, we are not together. He’s just one of my best friends’ and the answer should have stayed there, but it didn’t. The politically correct answer was that, but then she had to add a very serious ‘Did you ask this to someone else? Did you ask Pierre and Charles or Carlos and Lando? Or is it just with me because I’m a woman? Wanna ask if I’m with someone else? Wanna ask about the other eighteen drivers?’. The room went into absolute silence as she stood up and left the room, followed by her team and the Alfa Romeo team. Her team just wanted her to stop for a second; the Alfa Romeo team wanted her to go back, but all she did was turn around and tell them to leave her alone. That was one of the lucky times where she and Daniel were in the same hotel, so it took her no time to go straight to him because she needed to hide from the world. It took Daniel a long hour to calm her down that day and now they could laugh at it, but back then it was one of the worst days of her life, and she was nothing but thankful to have Daniel by her side.

“And how fucking hard it was to keep my face straight when they did” Daniel joked, because he had the exact opposite reaction to the tricky question. Since he was warned by her about the question, for Daniel it was all about payback. He went into that room and answered the question with a serious face that was nothing but weird on him. Suddenly the joker was gone, and nobody in the room knew what to do except keep it short and change the subject of the questions. Daniel said that if they made his girl feel like shit, then he was going to make them feel like shit and that’s exactly what he did, even if deep down the grin was fighting for coming out and screaming in front of those cameras that yes, she was his girlfriend. Daniel wanted to yell that she was his Cherry, but he kept it quiet. “We’ll figure it out one day, y’know? We won’t keep it a secret forever, but meanwhile I’m happy I get to kiss you here at home” he affirmed, just as if he was reading her mind and the questions running wild inside it. And what he also did was answer them with a sweet, slow and perfect kiss that eased her mind. Just as she kissed Daniel again and again without a hurry in the world was when an idea came to her mind. She knew it was going to be hard to make it happen and that it was perhaps impossible, but she couldn’t help but drop the question as she stayed with her lips ghosting over his. “Why don’t we go somewhere? We can take some days off, maybe go to Italy”

“We just came back from Monza” he remembered, and damn, she knew, but she couldn’t care less about it. “You wanna go to your secret cave in Verona, Juliet?” “You’ve never been there, so I still gotta show you my little secret piece of heaven in the form of a villa by a lake” she murmured, stealing one last kiss in some way to convince Daniel. Even when they lived between Monaco, London, Switzerland and whatever country they were in for a race, she had a secret house in Italy that counted people knew about. She had been promising Daniel to invite him there even back when they were together in Renault, but it didn’t happen. Now that they were together, they talked a couple times about going and she had been dreaming about spending some days there with Daniel, but again, it never happened no matter how badly they wanted it. “You got a lot of little secrets, Cherry” Daniel murmured, moving down on his place to bury his face on her neck and place some kisses around her skin which helped make her relax more than any other thing in the world.

“But you’re the best of all of them” she whispered, closing her eyes and letting herself go in the feeling of his lips over her neck, his stubble scratching slightly at her skin and his fingers moving under her shirt to stroke her waist. “C’mon, babe, let’s get out of here, even if just for the weekend” she purred as she practically begged. And she hated to beg, but he could even make her do that. “Sounds like a little piece of heaven indeed, especially because you’re gonna be there” It was then when she realized it was impossible, and Daniel was just probably looking for a way to remind her that they just couldn’t do it. He was looking for a soft way to say the words than none of them wanted to say, but she had to do it, even if it hurt. “Yeah, I know, we can’t. I gotta fly to Switzerland this week, we are going to Austin the week before the race, then the next free week it's between Mexico and Brazil, and then the season it's over and you go home” she listed, remembering how the next couple months of their life were absolutely planned and nothing could get canceled or changed. “Forget I said anything” she whispered with a little shrug and a kiss on his forehead, trying to ignore how it broke her heart a little. The sadness in her voice was all Daniel seemed to need to move from his spot and look at her. She tried to put a little smile on her face, but looking at Daniel’s expression, she was failing miserably. “Hey, don’t put that pout. We can go the first week after the season it's over. I won’t have to be locked for two weeks in a hotel room in Perth, so we have time before Christmas” Daniel offered, clearly desperate to make her feel better. “No, babe, it's okay. I don’t wanna take time away from your family. I was just daydreaming. Wishful thinking, I guess” she stated, stroking his cheek with the back of her hand. “You’re not taking time away from anyone because you’re my family too, baby girl” Daniel affirmed, grabbing her right hand to kiss her knuckles, her palm, and then her wrist. “What if we cancel our week in Austin?”

“We are not canceling Austin. You love Austin, so it's a no” she shook her head, and she might sound like a stubborn, but there was no way she would ever let him miss those days that he was waiting for so long. Besides, she was also expecting that weekend, so canceling their small getaway there wasn’t even an option.

“Then we cancel whatever we were going to do between Mexico and Brazil” he offered again, kissing the back of her hand and giving her his best puppy eyes.   “And deal with the jet-lag just because?”   “Cmon, Cherry. When we are not jet-lagged, baby?” he asked with a smile on his face trying to convince her, and even when she knew her boyfriend was right, she just didn’t want to say yes because it was useful to travel without reason. “Hey, I just wanna make you happy. If Italy will put a smile on your face then we’ll find a way”   “You make me happy and you put a smile on my face. I don’t need an Italy getaway to be happy” she insisted, stealing one long and loving kiss trying to make him drop the topic.   She really thought she had made it. She really thought it was forgotten between sloppy kisses, soft strokes, and little whimpers, but then Daniel moved apart to look at her. “Let's go when the season it's over. We spent a week there, just you and me. What do you say?”    

“I say that I love you more than anyone in the world” she whispered, absolutely lost in him, finally a smile appearing on her face because she really couldn’t believe he was doing such a thing to make her happy. “I love you more, but I have two conditions for that trip” he stated, kissing her nose before he kept talking. “After that you come to Perth. Not for Christmas because you’ll spend it with your family, but for New Year. I think some farm life would be good to make us relax” Daniel negotiated, making her smile even more. “Deal. What’s the second condition?” she wondered, kissing his lips a couple times as both of her hands rested on his cheeks. “Let's move together”

She could have sworn she was imagining things. She could have sworn it was all because of the wine they were drinking before. She could swear it was a joke, but Daniel wasn’t laughing. There was no ‘I just made a bad joke’ smile, it was a genuine smile. It was an ‘I’m very serious’ smile, and that’s how she knew Daniel wasn’t playing games with her, but even then, she couldn’t help but whisper an imperceptible ‘What?’ that she even though Daniel didn’t hear. “You hear it. Let's move together. Let's get a nice place here in Monaco for, you and me. We can get an apartment together and make it our place when we’re not working” “You’re not kidding, aren’t you?” she asked again to be sure, as her jaw was still hanging, trying to understand what was happening. Daniel wanted to live with her and for them to have a home together.

“No, I’m not. With our job we don’t have much time to be together, but the time we spend here, I wanna spend it with you. We can see if it works, and if it doesn’t, we’ll figure it out, but let’s do it, Cherry” he repeated, grabbing her chin between the long fingers of his tattooed hand. “It’ll work” she nodded probably too hard and too fast. “We’ll make it work. We’ll come home together and it’ll work. I promise it’ll work, babe” “So that’s a yes?” Daniel asked with the biggest smile on his face, and she couldn’t help but smile back. “Its a fuck yeah” she giggled, placing her arms around his neck as she kissed him as many times as it was possible, and then some, but it felt like it was never enough. “Oh God, we’re insane” “We drive the fastest cars in the world, so what’s new with us being insane?” he asked with a little shrug before he went back to kiss her, but even when their lips were together, none of them could help but smile because they were going to get a place to live together, but they were already home.

[hashtag-anthems]

im intrigued by cars 2 as a comfort movie bc cars 2 is how i met my best friend

Okay so there’s a story actually.

I loved the first Cars movie. When I heard there was a sequel, I was ecstatic. My parents made plans with my mom’s best friend and her husband to take all of us kids to go see it. It was going to be me, and my mom’s friend’s two daughters and one son.

We meet at their house because my mom’s friend and her husband don’t drive, so we were gonna carpool to the theater. I should have guessed something was wrong when we only took the Trailblazer (seats 5) instead of two vehicles when there were 8 people total.

We get there, and my mom sends me inside to let them know we’re here, and I do so, and I am all ready to go see this movie. My mom’s friend, her husband, and their son go out to the car, which is now full. I realize the problem.

They had not counted on the girls (I wasn’t aware that nonbinary was a thing you could be at that age lol) wanting to see the movie and had only brought one car. I watched the car pull out of the driveway with tears in my eyes. I was inconsolable as they left me at my friends’ house and went to see the movie without me.

I inform my mother that this was unacceptable when she returns. She should have known that I wanted to see that movie. Aside from the fact that I had explicitly told her yes I want to see this movie, I watched Cars on DVD all the time. I watched NASCAR with my stepdad (I liked Kyle Busch bc he had all the Mars candy sponsorships, and I liked M&Ms and my stepdad HATED him so I doubled down and got posters and stuff for my bedroom walls). And it was a spy movie????? Of course I wanted to see it! Her response: “I thought you would rather hang out with the girls, and they didn’t want to go see it.”

I love them both and I do not blame them for this travesty at all but fuck my lifelong best friends! I wanted to see Cars 2!

Unfortunately, we had waited until it was almost out of theaters to see it when tickets were cheap, so there wasn’t time to take me to see it before it left theaters. This objectively mediocre sequel to a movie about sentient vehicles became my forbidden fruit. I had to see it. Unfortunately, I was *checks year this movie came out* 13 years old and did not have stable income or a way to transport myself to the theater before the movie left theaters.

Finally, the day comes that Cars 2 releases on-demand on our cable package. This was before the DVD release, but after it had left theaters. I approach my mother with this information, and she agrees to purchase it on-demand, once.

This is my chance. I may not have gotten to see it on the big screen, but we never bought movies on demand. We were lucky if we got to rent something from Redbox for a dollar on Saturday and then hurry to return it before church on Sunday so we wouldn’t get charged extra. This was big. My mom knew she had fucked up, and she was performing her acts of penance in a last ditch bid for my new-teenager mercy. The dynamic is changing, and this is her chance to get back on my good side.

I am glued to the screen the whole time. It was broad daylight and sometimes it was hard to make out the screen because the way our house was built the sun was facing the east so around 10 am every day you could not see the TV unless you closed the curtains and my family said no I couldn’t do that it was a beautiful day and I needed sunlight for my health.

When the movie ends and the credits roll, I get on the family computer (I will not own my own device capable of running iTunes until Christmas of that year) and purchase two songs from the soundtrack with my last $3 in iTunes gift cards. I am appeased.

That Christmas I got the DVD and now I make a habit of watching it every year on my birthday. I think it’s hilarious. I can recite it from memory. My friends are confused and bewildered. I will forever mourn not getting to see it in theaters. I think I legitimately feel worse about missing Cars 2 in theaters than I do about not getting to see Promare in theaters bc Promare is becoming a cult classic and will probably come back to theaters at some point but I know that no one in their right mind would ever put on another theatrical release of Cars 2.

In hindsight we should have figured out I was ADHD a lot sooner.

[princessphilly]

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Word Count: 5118

CW: angst, smut but not super filthy smut (medium filth?), bad language

Dress and shoes that Nina wore in this chapter

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Only three more chapters and an epilogue left

Nina fidgeted as dug into her pocketbook for her keys to her parents’ house. It was time for Sunday dinner, the one meal a week that she wasn’t responsible for cooking and therefore, Nina never missed it. Cooking was not her forte and Nina had no problems with that. However, this Sunday dinner, she needed to talk to her family about their lives changing.

The smell of roast chicken filled the house and Nina took a deep sniff as she opened and closed the door. Aryanna and Dad were watching the late game aka hate-watching the Ravens vs Saints. The Steelers were playing on Monday night this week. 

“Heey sweettart,” Vernon said, getting up to give his oldest daughter a hug. 

Nina hugged her father back, holding him close for a second. “Hi Dad.”

“Oh no!”

Nina ended the hug, turning with her father towards the tv. Lamar Jackson had just run for a 20-yard touchdown. They all groaned; the Steelers needed the Ravens to lose as both teams were running neck to neck for the AFC North crown. As Nina got absorbed into the game, the situation with Sidney was still in the back of her mind. 

Nina had talked to her mom earlier in the day, explaining everything to her mother, well everything but the sex. Tracey had listened with an open ear before telling her daughter not to make a decision over her potential happiness just because of how it could affect her family. Tracey had reminded Nina that Jason, while he was at UNC now, had been a 5-star tight end prospect and they dealt with the media when it was time for him to sign with a college. 

After talking to her mom, Nina had taken a nap before coming to sunday dinner. As she watched the game, waiting to eat, Nina hoped for courage. However, she kept it to herself when it was time to eat, instead listening to Aryanna talk about school, her dad talk about his new position at work which meant that he wasn’t going to be going out on the road as much anymore. Nina shared some stories about her clients while Tracey talked about the switch to travel nursing over working in the hospital. But when it was over, Nina gulped and summoned her courage.

“So, I got news,” Nina started once dinner was over and dessert was served. She looked down at her glass of water. Before she could continue, Aryanna piped up. “Let me guess, you’re breaking up with Sidney Crosby because you’re a punk.”

“Aryanna!” 

Nina glared at her little sister while Tracey reprimanded, “That was rude, little girl.”

“Sorry,” Aryanna muttered.

“Anyway, before I was rudely interrupted,” Nina said, “I have news. After thinking about it, talking to Sidney, and going over the pros and cons, I’ve decided to give him another chance.”

Tracey smiled as Aryanna shouted yes. Vernon looked at his daughter and carefully said, “Are you ready for it?”

Nina grimaced. “As ready as I can possibly. Are y’all?”

“We only want you to be happy, sweetie,” Tracey consoled. “Plus, I saw those pics of you two. He’s smitten.”

Nina groaned while Aryanna laughed. Vernon added, “We were already planning to move soon anyway. We’ve been looking at homes in South HIlls and we just closed on a house in Mt. Lebanon.”

“Oh wow. When was I going to find out,” Nina said with a smirk. She knew her parents had been thinking of moving for a while but the market had been super hot for a long time. Before she had moved into her current apartment, Nina had heard of the different arguments her parents had about moving to different areas. But before they could find somewhere, someone else would snap it up.

Tracey grinned. “We weren’t going to say anything until we closed because of how long it took to find somewhere. It’s taken almost two years and we even saved enough to offer forty percent as a down payment. It’s a fixer-upper though but it has a bigger backyard for my garden and the schools are better.”

“What are you going to do with this house,” Nina asked before taking a bite of her sweet potato pie. Fuck, she wished she could bake and cook just so she could make herself sweet potato pie all of the time. 

Vernon replied, “Probably sell. There are people looking to buy even though this area isn’t that great. ”

“I guess it’s settled. This is exciting though.”

Tracey snickered before looking at her husband. “I hope you are still excited when we need you to help pack, Ni-ni.”

Nina looked to her right before taking out her phone and sending a quick message. Free monday? 12pm?

She received a quick response. Yup, just tell me where to meet

Vernon casually commented, “I’m also looking at it this way; this is a practice for when Jason is in the NFL and becomes famous.”

“Good point,” Tracey said. “I can start practicing telling people no even more now.”

Nina laughed. “Looks like I have nothing to worry about then.”

The conversation switched to the Steelers game tomorrow night as they finished dessert.

**

Honestly, Sidney was a bit surprised to get a message from Nina so quickly. He had fully expected her to wait until Wednesday and he had been preparing himself for the worst possible outcome. As a competitor, prepping for each game meant learning his opponents’ strengths and weaknesses. Nina wasn’t his opponent but Sidney was now very aware of the power she had over him with just one look, let alone her touch or words. 

Nina had asked to meet somewhere that wasn’t at their homes. Sidney suggested lunch but after looking at his schedule, he asked if Nina could maybe meet him at the Pens offices and then get lunch after. Fidgeting in the smaller conference room, Sidney began to worry that Nina wouldn’t show up when the clock showed that it was already five minutes past the time they agreed to. But then, Nina wasn’t the most on time person either so Sidney rationalized to himself, he should worry if it was fifteen minutes passed and she still wasn’t here. 

Then outside the door, Sidney saw Nina talking with Evelyn, one of their PR mavens. They were having an animated discussion and Sidney smiled softly. Nina opened the door and grinned at him. “Hi Sid, sorry for being late.”

Evelyn waved at Sidney and he waved back. After Nina walked in, Evelyn peeped in and said, “I was just catching up with Nina since it’s been a while since she’s been here.”

Sidney nodded as Nina replied, “thank you so much for the advice, Evelyn, I will definitely use it!”

Evelyn waved goodbye before closing the door firmly. Nina chose a chair directly across from Sidney and sat down. There was a brief pause before Nina giggled. “Oh my God, you looked like you were about to die before I showed up.”

“Well, I had to remind myself that you’d show up but part of me still was worried because of everything in our last conversations,” Sidney replied. 

The aura in the room turned serious as Nina bit her lip and folded her hands together. “Yeah, those conversations,” Nina started. “I like you a lot, Sidney Crosby, but… I hate this circus that surrounds you. I know that it’s something you can’t control but I hate it. But I realized, especially after talking to my mom, there’s nothing I can do about it now. My life’s forever changed.”

Sidney cleared his throat but Nina stopped him. “Let me finish, Sid because I can already tell you’re ready to make promises you can’t keep. So let me save both of us the headache.”

Sitting back, Sidney leaned in his chair. “What are your plans, pretty girl?”

“You have to get over being super private and claim me publicly. You want me to be yours, Mr. Crosby? Then you have to let the world know we are together. No are they or aren’t they bullshit.”

Nina glared at Sidney when she was done. Sidney flushed; part of him hated the idea of letting the world know more than they really needed to know about his personal life. At the same time, he already knew he was going to do whatever Nina asked him to, in his own way. “You know I don’t use social media,” Sidney began before trailing off. Then he smirked. 

Nina casually said, “you’ll find a way.”

“I already figured it out,” Sidney drawled. “What else do you want, pretty girl?”

“No more surprise meet ups with people from the team, let me know ahead of time. Just like I’ll let you know ahead of time whenever I decide you should meet my fam.”

Sidney actually blushed while Nina arched an eyebrow. “I know I’m amazing but that was a bit uncomfortable when I think back. At least you didn’t abandon me to talk to your teammates and let me fend for myself.”

“I’m sorry, Nina,” Sidney apologized. He felt really bad now: he had been so excited that he really didn’t think about how Nina would have felt. Nina shrugged; it wasn’t that bad to be honest because Sidney stayed at her side, introduced her to everyone, and made sure she was included. But that didn’t mean she wanted him to continue doing that. 

Nina smiled at Sidney and asked, “what do you think, Sid?”

Sidney scratched his jaw as he thought of his reply. It was relatively simple but it would also be life-changing for him. He finally said, “Yes, it all sounds good. But I have one thing?”

“What’s that?”

Sidney smirked as he looked Nina up and down. Nina rolled her eyes as she smiled. She could guess where his mind was, right in the gutter. But Sidney surprised her when he said, “Then let me spoil you.  I have no problem claiming you publicly, but I want you to let me treat you like I’ve been wanting to treat you.”

Nina gave Sidney a bashful smile before looking to the side. “I’ll never say no to purses and shoes but I don’t want you to buy out the store-“

“I already know that, sweetheart,” Sidney firmly said, “but let me treat you like you deserve.”

“Okay, okay,” Nina conceded.

Sidney pushed his chair back, making space. Then he patted his lap. “Come ‘ere.”

Nina got out of her chair and sat on Sidney’s lap. “You know where we are,” she hissed even though she had obeyed him. 

Wrapping an arm around her waist, Sidney smiled. Smelling her coconut-vanilla scent, he realized how much he had missed her. “I know, I’m not going to do anything inappropriate, pretty girl. Just missed having you close to me.”

Sidney kissed the back of Nina’s neck, causing her to shiver. “Watch the postgame of our next game, Nina. Now, what do you want for lunch?”

“Um, honestly, I want Chipotle. I have to get back to work in about an hour so nothing fancy,” Nina replied. 

Turning so that she was facing Sidney, she placed her index finger over his lips when he opened his mouth. “I forgot to add this earlier but I’m also going to say this now. I’m not quitting my job anytime soon. I’m going to finish my Ph.D. and if I decide to stop working, it’s because I plan to teach full-time. So, if you expect I’ll be waiting at home and living for you, now you know that’s not going to happen,” Nina stated. 

Sidney opened his mouth to reply but the door opened. “Hey, I’ve been looking for you, Sidney!”

Nina squeaked in surprise and Sidney sighed. It was Brian Burke and Sidney was sure that it was probably something important but this wasn’t quite the moment where he wanted to see him. 

Brian smiled. “It looks like you two have made up.”

Nina weakly waved. At first, she was going to move off of Sidney’s lap but his hand around her waist made that impossible. “I’d introduce myself but I figure I interrupted,” Brian continued. 

“It’s okay, I was on my way to get lunch,” Nina replied. 

Sidney added, “With me.”

“Don’t forget, you said you wanted to help with more planning for our pride game this season,” Brian reminded Sidney.

“Ohh, the pride game! You’re getting more involved in it? That’s awesome,” Nina exclaimed. 

Sidney blushed as he smiled under Nina’s praise. 

“Would you be interested in being involved, Nina,” Brian asked.

Nina paused for a second, her eyes wide. “Um, sure.”

“I can get your contact information from Sidney,” Brian asked.

Nina nodded as Sidney rubbed his hand up and down her back. Sidney said, “I’ll let you know,” as Brian closed the door. 

Placing a hand over her face, Nina sighed. “Wow.”

“It’s fine. Look, your first volunteer project,” Sidney kidded. 

“I need to eat.”

**

The game against the Isles had gone well. Sidney had tallied two assists and a goal in a 4-2 win after having a four game slump. Normally post-game interviews were a necessary evil but he was a bit nervous this time. Not because he knew they were going to ask about getting out of his slump, but because of what he was going to say. 

The first couple of questions were easy softballs. Then Sidney was hit with the question that opened the door. 

“Sidney, great breaking your slump. There were rumors that your personal life was affecting your game on the ice. What do you think about that?”

Sidney looked at the reporters, all ready for him to give a cliche. Instead, Sidney admitted the truth. “My personal life was affecting my game on the ice. But we’ve fixed our issues and I’m glad.”

There was a pause, as if the reporters didn’t know where to start. Sidney looked at one of the PR interns to the side. The intern gave him a slight smile and a quick thumbs up. Sidney decided to continue, “We prefer to keep our relationship private for now but she means a lot to me and is very important to my life. I will not be answering any more questions about my relationship at this moment.”

Luckily, the rest of the questions were about hockey but Sidney knew that his statement was going to be a big part of what everyone was going to talk about. Once back in the locker room, Geno gave Sidney a big grin. Tanger said, “You did it?”

“Yeah but I’m serious, I’m not going to answer a bunch of questions about my personal life,” Sidney replied. “Now though, every time we struggle, the dumbasses will start talking about it.”

Tanger grimaced as Geno said, “Fuck them.”

Guentzy laughed as he stated, “I agree with Geno. Fuck them.”

Sidney laughed as he pulled his shirt off before pulling off his pads. Sitting in his crocs, hockey pants and pads, Sidney pulled out his phone. There was just one message from the only person who’s opinion mattered to him, wow😍 .

Sidney replied back, made it official for u but in the way u wanted 😁😏

😘🥰 part of me can’t believe it but i’m happy u listened to me, was Nina’s reply. 

Sidney texted, only 4 u, before finishing getting undressed so he could take a shower.

**

To be totally honest, Nina thought her life would have exploded the minute that Sidney admitted that he was seeing someone in the post-game conference after the Isles game. It wouldn’t take much to put 2 and 2 together, especially when she went out with Sidney and the Malkins to a popular Shadyside restaurant the day after. But things were relatively calmer. 

There were still the nasty looks from other people, especially women when Nina was out by herself, running her everyday errands. But there were also people who seemed to defer to her and it felt so fucking weird. Like, if she wanted to, Nina felt like people were ready to let her do whatever she wanted because she was now Sidney Crosby’s girlfriend. 

Nina bit her lip as she waited in line to pay for her groceries. Then someone bumped into her and it was Ron. “Hey Nina, long time no see.”

“Hi Ron,” Nina replied with a strained smile. 

“Not everyday one sees their ex. Look at you, shopping like the rest of us. Your man ain’t ordering groceries for you.”

Nina resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She could feel the eyes of other people at Weis and she knew there were people looking for something to gossip about. Nina definitely didn’t want to give Ron the satisfaction of a reaction. She merely replied, “I have my own life I have to take care of on my own.”

“Oh wow, because I remember the way you two were looking at each other that time we went out on a date. Makes me think you were cheating on me with him,” Ron goaded. 

Nina gave him a blank look. “We were long over, for almost three years, before I went out with Sidney. But you had two other women when we were a couple,” Nina stated with a shrug. “Anyway, it’s my turn to check out. Bye.”

Nina tuned Ron out as she checked out. The cashier commented, “That guy seems like a dick.”

“You live and you learn,” Nina replied with a smile as she paid, unaware that someone had uploaded video of that encounter to the internet.

**

Sidney gulped down his protein shake, home after practice. The season was starting well but he felt like the team could be better. Sidney wanted another cup, one more cup and he felt like this was the year. Then his phone buzzed and he saw it was his mom.

“Hi Mom,” Sidney said, sitting on his sofa. He had some time before he needed to get ready for tonight and it was always good to talk to his mother.

Trina chirped, “Hi Sidney, how are you?”

“I’m doing good, short practice today before our game against New Jersey tomorrow,” Sidney idly replied as he turned his tv on. Flipping through Netflix, he chose an episode of How I Met Your Mother. 

He could hear his mother’s smile through the phone when she teased, “Your father told me you told the press that you are seeing someone last week. Is it that girl you kept talking about over the years?”

Sidney giggle-honked before admitting, “Yes, it is. I’m finally dating Nina.”

“Are you sure it’s a good idea? This is something totally different for you,” Trina asked, concerned. Her son had a relationship with Kathy but this situation with this new girl was something totally different. Part of her was worried that since Sidney had wanted this girl for so long, that he was diving into this without really thinking about it.

Sidney replied, “You sound like Nina.”

“Hmm, I do?”

“Yep, Mom, you did,” Sidney said, “Nina wasn’t sure if it was a good idea for a long time but I managed to convince her it was.”

Trina was still feeling skeptical. From what she knew, this girl was from the area, a fan of the team, a different race, and had worked for the team for a period of time. It was possible she could be playing the long game. “Is she there with you now?”

Knowing her son, Trina was convinced that Nina was already living with her son. Her son, when he decided he wanted something, went all out to get it. She was surprised when Sidney said, “No, she’s at work, then she has class.”

“Class,” Trina asked, her tone perking up. This sounded interesting. 

Sidney informed his mother, “Nina decided to get a PhD in rehabilitation science this year. She works as a physical therapist.”

“That sounds interesting, isn’t that how you met her,” Trina idly said. The door opened and Troy stepped in. Trina put her finger to her mouth to shush her husband. 

Sidney scratched his head, wondering where his mother was going with these questions. “Yes. Nina works somewhere else totally different now. But she’s looking into becoming a professor after guest lecturing at, I think, Pitt.”

Trina raised her eyebrows. That was interesting information. Switching the conversation to more mundane subjects, Trina filed that information in the back of her head. It sounded like this Nina was a bit more well-rounded than she thought. 

Sidney sighed when he hung up on his mother. That conversation felt like one thing but he could sense there was another undercurrent. Then he received a picture message from Nina and his mind went straight to the gutter. Sidney sighed; it was going to be a long night.

**

“You look very nice.”

Nina smiled as she replied, “Thank you,” to the guest. 

It was kind of last minute, this dinner that Nina found herself invited to. It was thrown by Nathalie and most of the top brass of the Penguins were here as well as Sidney, the Letangs, and the Malkins. Because Sidney had gone public with their relationship, Nina had found herself suddenly invited. Luckily for her, Nina already had an appropriate cocktail dress for the occasion. 

Her dress was black with an asymmetrical one shoulder with a bow but it came to just above knee level. Nina’s heels were gold, an impulse purchase several months ago that she was happy to have. The outfit was classy, understated, and definitely Penguins colors. 

Sidney seemed to like it as well from the way his arm stayed possessively around Nina’s waist whenever possible. At least it wasn’t a public event; the possessiveness would have looked bad. But because it was informal and in a private room at PPG arena, Sidney was able to get away with it. 

The length was a blessing and a curse. A blessing that it meant that Sidney couldn’t try to do any funny business during dinner but a curse in that the more he touched her, the more Nina wanted him. By the end of the night, it was obvious that Sidney was getting close to losing his cool and Nina was loving it. 

As soon as they got into the car at the end of the night, Sidney pounced. His lips touched hers, demanding and devouring as he kissed her. Then abruptly, Sidney let go. “You'd been torturing me all night in that little black dress. So sexy, the way it showed off my pretty girl’s body.”

Sidney already knew that Nina was perfect in every way anyway. However, as soon as he saw her step in with that black dress and gold heels, it took every ounce of media training and self-control for Sidney not to strip it off of her and fuck her right there. Right now, he was glad that he hired a car after this event. 

Sidney didn’t even do anything in the car other than keep his hand on Nina’s thigh. The difference was that he told Nina every filthy thing he planned to do to her once he got her home. Nina wiggled on the seat, her legs shifting as Sidney whispered what he planned to do to her. It was insane, what he could do to her with his words. 

Nina had expected Sidney to push her against the wall when they got back to his place but instead, he just guided Nina to the kitchen before taking out two glasses. Picking out a wine, Sidney poured two glasses. 

“I’ve missed you in my bed but I’m patient,” Sidney stated, his hands palming Nina’s ass before giving both cheeks a smack. Then Sidney picked up the glasses of wine and passed one to Nina.

Nina smirked. “I’m not,” she said as she took a sip. 

“Can’t be patient for me, pretty girl?”

Nina shrugged as she took another sip. Then she delicately licked a drop that was on her lower lip, causing Sidney to visibly grunt and shudder. “Maybe,” Nina finally replied. 

“Good.”

Sidney sat down in a chair and patted his lap. Nina sat on his lap, the hem of her dress riding up. “Did you have a good time?”

“I actually did for something that was pretty last minute. Don’t ask me if I remember everyone’s name yet.”

“That’s okay,” Sidney reassured Nina. “No one expects you to remember everyone, yet.”

Nina snorted before taking another sip of her wine. Idly, Sidney added, “Fuck, I love this dress.”

“Maybe if you move your hands higher underneath it, you’ll get a surprise,” Nina taunted. Licking her lips, she winked.

Unable to resist a challenge, Sidney moved his hand higher and higher. Then he whistled when he realized Nina’s surprise. “You went commando all night and didn’t tell me?”

“I’m lucky this dress was lined so well that no one could tell,” Nina admitted. “But it was worth it.”

“How,” Sidney asked as his hand touched Nina’s pussy. She was already wet.

Nina smirked. “Because I knew if you found out tonight, the look on your face would have been priceless.”

Sidney ignored that statement as he stroked Nina’s core with his fingers. Rolling her clit with his fingers, Sidney hissed at the idea that Nina was here, with him tonight. His pretty girl, perfect in his lap. "I love how wet you get for me, pretty girl."

"Only for you, daddy," Nina moaned as she clutched his shoulders. Sidney growled at her words, her pussy clenching harder on his fingers. 

Suddenly, Sidney picked Nina up and placed her on the table. Nina smiled as she hiked up her dress and spread her legs. Sidney licked his lips. “We’re gonna see how many times you cum for me tonight, pretty girl.”

“Fuck, I can’t wait,” Nina moaned as his mouth met her core.

**

Sidney woke, at first disoriented because someone else was in his bed and curled up on top of him. Then he realized it was Nina and he relaxed. Her head was on top of his chest, one arm on him as she slept on her side. Carefully extracting himself, Sidney went to the bathroom. After relieving himself, he watched Nina continue to sleep, now curled into herself. Sidney took a quick picture, it was so cute. However, after taking the picture, he checked his messages. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chanted.

Nina opened her eyes slowly, her body deliciously sore after last night. Stretching out her arms, she sleepily asked, “What’s wrong, Sid?”

“Seems like someone has something against you, pretty girl,” Sidney said, suppressing his fury. 

Nina’s eyes snapped open, sleep now forgotten. Sitting up, she queried, “What happened?”

“There's a video of you with some guy at a market.”

Grimacing, Nina sighed. “I ran into Ron while getting groceries. He was being a jagoff asshole.”

“You don’t look bad at all, PR thinks you handled it perfectly.”

Nina got off the bed and walked over to Sidney. Wrapping her arms around him, she pleaded, “Fuck him and fuck whoever took video.”

Snuggling into Sidney’s chest, Nina nipped one of his nipples. “Plot your revenge later, Sid. It’s eight am and I know you have a maintenance day today. Come back to bed.”

“‘Come back to bed?’ You know this is my bed,” Sidney joked. His anger was going away each second that Nina was pressed against him, her lips giving him little kisses and bites on his upper body. 

Nina looked up at Sidney, giving him soulful eyes. “Please, daddy?”

Trailing her hands around his neck, Nina murmured, “I’ve been so good. Please?”

“Fuck, how can I say no,” Sidney groaned as Nina giggled. Picking her up, he tossed her on the bed. 

Scooting back, Nina spread her legs as Sidney settled in the middle of them. “I love the way you fuck me, Sidney.”

Sidney smirked, his brown eyes smoldering as he crouched over Nina. “Oh do you?”

“Yes, I do,” Nina hummed, her fingers tugging on his chain. “You should do it again.”

Sidney settled between Nina’s thighs, pulling her legs around his waist. His lips lowered to hers in a gentle kiss. Slow and drugging, enough to make both of them red hot for each other, full of promise. Pulling away, Sidney nipped Nina’s lower lip. Nina sucked her lip into her mouth, her brown eyes meeting Sidney’s. Cupping Nina’s chin, Sidney reminded her, “How do you ask, pretty girl?”

“Please fuck me, daddy,” Nina asked, her body arching towards his. “Make me yours.”

“Good girl.”

**

Nina tried hard not to feel self-conscious as she made her way to the ice-level with Aryanna, Catherine and her children, and Anna with Nikita. It had been a week since that awful article with video from her interaction with Ron. It had been set up to make Nina look like a gold digging whore and it hurt to have guys, guys she had only gone out with once or twice, say things that made her seem horrible. Nina hadn’t admitted that part to Sid when he was in a fury about it. Lauren had reminded Nina that men tend to be assholes about women that they couldn’t have and that Nina was way beyond their level even before her current relationship. 

Even though Nina had distracted Sidney that morning, by the afternoon, that article was off the internet. A radio host had mentioned it and then within an hour, issued an apology for talking about it. However, it was forgotten pretty quickly as more people cared about the Steelers potentially staying undefeated with a game coming up against the Browns.

Nina smiled as they reached the ice. The team was doing warm-ups and Sidney was in the midst of his pregame rituals. She actually had more enjoyment from watching Aryanna react to watching the guys on the ice. Tanev gave the glass near them an ice shower while Geno and Kris had greeted Nina and Aryanna while saying hi to their families. Then, very unexpectedly, Sidney broke one of his traditions and came over. Giving the glass a small shower, Sidney waved at Aryanna before smirking at Nina. Nina smirked back before giving Sid a little wave. 

As people took pictures of Sid waving to her, Nina smiled. She could live with this, maybe. ‘No, that was a lie’, Nina thought as they made their way to the family box. She was going to have to live with this now, it was too far gone to go back. And she didn’t want to.

[ithehellisbucky]

For You

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Request: “I love you isn’t always enough.”

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Angst to end all angst. PTSD, depression, spiraling, fighting, break up, sad shit.

Author’s Note: I meant for this to be out on Sunday because I wrote it last Monday but I forgot. Anyways this is really sad, but I'm proud of myself because I wrote the ~spoiler alert~ "breaking up to protect the reader" but its the reader doing to breaking up.

~

When it takes a century to find happiness, you thought it would stick.

From the moment that Bucky walked into your life (literally, walked into your bookshop) you knew that you wouldn't leave him behind any time soon.

There was something about him that would float around in your heart forever until you saw him again, and then the process would repeat.

The first 6 months of your relationship was a honeymoon phase. Waking up to him staring at you in adoration every morning. He stayed at your apartment every day. Cuddling in the middle of the night when he had nightmares, holding him when he was scared to touch anything.

Showing him your love in any and every way you could. Making misshapen pancakes together, and him showing you his favorite movies and books from the 30s and 40s. Pure happiness.

But there was something about Bucky that couldn't sit still. He can't live your little happy life knowing that there is someone out there.

It had caused many fights, you never wanted him to go back to crime-fighting, and he wanted to prove himself. And as much as you tried to tell him that he was already a hero, he was persistent that he had to make up for things that the man that used to live in his brain did.

It drove you crazy.

You were laying on the couch reading a book and absent-mindedly watching a mediocre television show you've seen twice before. You hear each of your locks click twice and from the weight of his footsteps and settle back down into comfort.

"Hi, baby." Bucky walks over to you and presses a kiss onto your forehead.

"Hi honey, how was therapy." You ask as he snuggles into your embrace and you put your book down.

"Boring," he exclaims as you stroke his hair.

"Boring is better than bad, I'm proud of you," He smiled at you and pressed a kiss to your collarbone.

Instead of saying the 'I love you' that you wanted to say, you replaced it with: 'I'm proud of you', 'Stay safe', and 'honey' 'baby' 'sweetheart'.

It wasn't what you wanted, but it'd have to do until your love was ready to hear it.

"I'm making pasta, when do you wanna eat?" You exclaim, wrapping your legs around his torso, and realizing that you are fully entangled in a cuddlefest.

"Maybe an hour, I'm never hungry after Dr. Raynor."

You nod and can tell he understood your response.

You hold each other in blissful peace, eat your food, and go to bed. Bucky does things a certain way to sleep. He wraps his body around yours and sleeps closer to the door, so if someone tried to attack he could protect you in an instant. When he can't sleep he goes into the living room and lays down on the floor to watch tv. He's never slept comfortably before, so it's hard to sleep in safety.

Apparently, tonight was one of those nights. You woke up in the middle of the night to an empty bed.

You reach over and notice that the bedsheets are sweaty and his shirt is on the ground near the door. Bucky was fine with his arm around you, it took some time to show him that he's worthy of love- prosthetic included.

You walk towards the door wearing only one of Bucky's shirts and underwear with little flowers all over it.

"Hey Bucky, are you okay..." Your voice trails off when you notice Bucky staring at the tv with hollow eyes and an unrelenting gaze. "Baby what's wrong?" You slowly walk closer to him and place your hand on his shoulder, even though all you want to do is run to him and hold him.

At first, you think that he doesn't notice until he turns around and shows tear-brimmed eyes. "He gave away the shield."

He can't seem to say anything other than that, so you reach over and hold his face to your neck. You help him get up and walk over to your room and your bed, not bother to pick up his bedding or turn off the tv. You lay gently down in bed, and hold him close to you and let him sob into your chest.

The next day Bucky's acting odd, to say the least. But you don't push it, he's been through enough in the past 24 hours. Finding out that the pretty much only constant in your life was in the hands of a stranger isn't something you can take lightly.

He left in the morning and he didn't come back until late at night. When you ask him where he was he shrugged and ate a single-serving pizza in a record three minutes then went straight to bed, leaving you eating leftovers by yourself in the dark. Not exactly the perfect day.

The same happens for the next 2 days, and then the next day he doesn't come home, and all you get is a text that he'll be home back Sunday. That leaves you with paralyzing fear for the days he's gone, and when he comes back to you at 3:30 in the morning he has a black eye and knuckle-shaped bruises all over the parts of his body you can see, which is no small feat considering the super-soldier serum pumping through his veins.

"Where the hell have you been Bucky?" You yell once he's sat down on the couch like nothing ever happened.

"I was doing stuff." He shrugs and clicks on the tv.

You snatch the remote off the table and turn it off. "You can't just disappear for days and act like nothing ever happened!"

He rolls his eyes and gets up, beginning to walk towards the bathroom "Don't walk away from me! You don't get to walk away from this!"

He turns around and glares at you with the gaze that you've seen him use plenty of time at guys who were checking out your ass at bars.

"Why the hell can't I?" He spits out and towers over you.

"Because this is a relationship and you can't walk away whenever you want to and expect everything to be fine!" His anger doesn't intimidate you. "What the fuck did you expect me to do? Bake you cookies and shampoo your hair when you got home?

I'm not your bitch and you're not a liar, so tell me what's going on." You exclaim, hoping that he'll tell you something other than what you know is really going on.

"I was out with Sam."

"Oh my god," you sigh, turning away from him.

"There's this group called the flag smashers, and they're trying to cause a revolution or something," you run your hand through your hair, "and the new Captain America was there, and he's not a good guy, so me and Sam were-"

"No. No Bucky no." He seems slightly taken aback, but what honestly was he thought was going to happen.

"I don't care if you run around beating up bank robbers or making amends for things you didn't do, I do care that you lied to me about something that could've killed you."

"I know it's just-" He says, scratching his head with his metal arm.

"It's just what? That you want to help people? There are plenty of things you can do to help people other than getting beaten up Bucky!"

You take a deep breath and think it through more, "you know what, I'm blowing it out of proportion, you were just trying to help Sam and you were scared, let's just talk to Dr. Raynor and figure something out tomorrow."

You turn to go to bed and notice that Bucky isn't following "what's wrong?"

Bucky takes a deep breath "I'm not seeing Dr. Raynor anymore."

You turn around, angrier at him than you've ever been, "what?"

"John, the new Captain America, wants me to be focused on the mission, and therapy is just a distraction."

You can practically feel anger boiling through your veins. "Do you even hear yourself? You sound crazy. I would be fine if you went on missions or teamed up with Sam, but you can't stop going to therapy Bucky."

"Yes I can; the whole point is that I can make my own decisions. It's my choice." Bucky exclaims, yelling at you louder than you thought he ever would.

"Okay. If you think that making decisions is about ruining your life because you can, go ahead." You look him straight in the eyes, all fear gone. "you can quit therapy and implode all the progress you've made" you take a deep breath "and get out of my house."

Bucky drops all of his anger and steps back in shock and fear. "What?"

"I'm not going to let you ruin your life Bucky. When I met you, you wouldn't even let me see your arm. I've realized, that you are dependent on me, and that's not okay Bucky, because you deserve better than only having one good thing."

You were holding back tears, but in this moment you needed to help Bucky, and the only way to do that was to make sure he would be okay. And he can't do that if you are the only thing in his life. "You had nothing for 70 years Bucky, and now that you have the whole world you can't keep holding on to one person. You lost Steve, and then you were desperate to find something else to hold onto. You need to find yourself Bucky."

"No, no please don't do this. I- I love you." He starts crying and it takes everything in you not to run to him and hold him.

"Love isn't always enough Bucky." You turn around to leave your apartment in the middle of the night, "I love you more than anything, but I can't let you ruin your life. Go back to therapy, Buck, I'll be here. I'll wait. Go live the life you finally have Bucky. I love you."

You walk out your door and the second you close it you start sobbing. You wander out into the street and wonder if you did the right thing.

You hoped and you begged and you pleaded that Bucky would discover the world that he deserved. You wouldn't abandon him, you would make sure he stayed alive, he just needed time to be free. This wasn't for you, you reminded yourself, it's for Bucky.

Always for Bucky.

Requests are open!

Prompt List

~Taglists are open~

Permanent Tags: @natasha-danvers​

Marvel:

[lindsayrises]

Hey!

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything.

I feel like summer is basically over (it’s not, but it feels that way).  I worked in my classroom Thursday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday the 15/16/17/18.  All day plan/work/team meeting on Monday the 19th.  Professional development in the morning and work in my classroom in the afternoon on Tuesday the 20th.  JumpStart (for incoming first graders) Wednesday and Thursday mornings, the 21st and 22nd.  Plan/work/team meetings the afternoons of Wed/Thurs the 21/22.

Two days ago (Monday) I had a day-long professional development session.  Yesterday (Tuesday) I had professional development in the morning.  Tomorrow I have professional development in the afternoon.

Next week is my last week of summer.  Where the fuck did summer go?

I had to move classrooms over the summer.  I have gotten rid of so.much.stuff.  It feels good, and I am feeling better about this new classroom (that feels smaller and definitely has less storage).

I had planned on going through everything in my basement again this summer (last time was 2018).  I have stuff down here I don’t even know that I have.  I don’t even want to deal with selling stuff.  I just want it gone.  I definitely prefer to do projects in big chunks of time, but I might have to try to switch that mentality and work in small sections in the evenings once school starts.

I decluttered and deep cleaned every room upstairs (main level).  I have so many boxes of things to donate.  Again, it feels so good!

I finally got around to doing genetic testing to see if I have an increased cancer risk.  I tested negative!  Yay!  Such a huge relief.  My mom died of ovarian cancer.  My dad had cancer.  I found out in the past 6 months or so that when my mom did genetic testing (a few months before she died) she tested positive.  I had to wait a few weeks for the results.  I was obviously hoping it would be negative, but I was also preparing myself for the news that it might be positive.  

I still spend too much money.

I still drink too much Dr. Pepper.

I still eat too much fast food and other crappy food.

I still don’t exercise as much.

For several weeks this summer I went to therapy twice a week.  Sometimes I feel like I must not want to change my lifestyle and things in my life badly enough, or I would have by now.

I recently watched the original Full House all the way through.  Now I’m watching Fuller House.  It makes me laugh and reminds me of much much much simpler times when I was a kid.

Ramsey is doing well!  I took him to the vet today for a check up and the vets LOVED him!  He did so good!  I bought him some new toys after his appointment.

It’s hot here.  I do not enjoy the heat.

I need to stop prioritizing EVERYTHING/ANYTHING else above my health.  It’s bullshit.  I feel like I hyperfocus on one thing and don’t think about anything else.

I’ve had some eye-opening text exchanges with one of my best friends who is currently living in Italy....focusing on self-care, self-love, taking better care of my health.

I feel incredibly lucky to have so many good friends and family in my life.  That includes Tumblrs!  I have had to lean on so many people this summer for different things.  I will be forever grateful for those who are there for me.

I had a two hour phone conversation with a good friend today.  It was needed.

I’ve been using TV/Hulu/Netflix to numb out way too much lately.  I can be really hard on myself, but sometimes I think I’m too easy on myself.  Like, if I don’t want to do something, I just won’t do it (or if I do want something, I’ll get it/do it)...and then I think it’s taking care of myself.  Um, no, Lindsay.  That’s not how it works.  Getting Dairy Queen because you’re sad IS NOT SELF-CARE!  Skipping Orange Theory because you’re tired IS NOT SELF-CARE!

I have no concept of delayed gratification.  I basically make decisions like a child.

I want what I don’t have.  I don’t jog or walk because it’s boring, so then I start back at Orange Theory. That lasts a few weeks and then I wish I were jogging/walking and not doing Orange Theory.  

Hmmm....I thought I had more to write.

Basically, same shit, different day/week/month/year.

[antoxsmith]

Reality

Warnings: smut, some praise kink, slight fluff

Pairing: Negan x Reader

Summary: Negan appears inside your appartment as you watch The Walking Dead. He is everything you wanted, and more.

NEGAN MASTERLIST

Inspired by:

Tik-fuckin-tok.

You looked at your digital watch hanging on the wall next to the television, impatient, waiting for the episode to start and hoping work didn’t call you in again. After that long, horrific week that you just had; this was the highlight you needed so you could finish your Sunday in happiness; wrapped in the sweet arms of The Walking Dead’s plot.

When you finally saw the commercials come to an end, you shifted into a comfortable position and started to eat the chocolates, eager. After a second you choked; Negan’s face all over the screen in a cocky smile that you could see he was giving to one of his lieutenants.

“Lord. Have mercy.” you whispered as you drooled for the fearless leader of the saviors. After almost a season you just couldn’t have enough of him, his features, the way he spoke…Fair to say that he was your favorite character.

As the episode went by you couldn’t do much but thank God for blessing you with so many Negan scenes; all while throwing chocolate into your mouth until you finished the bowl. Just after that, you began feeling the weight of the week in your shoulders and eyelids; threatening to fall asleep.

Before you could; the episode went back again to Negan. You chuckled in tired awe; seeing how he raised Lucille to kill someone. Then; out of nowhere, he disappeared. You looked confused at the nicely done effects; as the saviors too; looked confused; still kneeling.

 “What the-” you mumbled; you had read the comics. Negan wasn’t a sorcerer of any kind.

“Oh shit!” you heard from the kitchen; a familiar voice shouting. Your eyes opened widely, quickly and quietly moving from the sofa to stand next to the TV. You heard loud footsteps from whom you thought was here to rob you, coming to the living room. You felt goosebumps on your spine as you quickly called emergencies; but still, you weren’t scared. That voice…

Just as someone picked up; the footsteps came into the living room your heart nearly stopped at the shock, your trembling fingers stopping the call. “Negan!?” you gasped out loud with your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, your voice making him take a step back in surprise; but his gaze quickly changed to a mostly stern one. He had Lucille, wore that leather jacket; even had that fantastic salt and pepper beard you loved to stare at; and he was right fucking there.

He looked at you as if you were crazy or stupid. Maybe both.

“Where the fuck are we; doll?” He asked, looking around. “I was about to bash someone’s head in; and having a hell of a party!” He grinned with a trace of anger.

When you didn’t answer fast enough; he looked back at you with piercing eyes, impatient. “Speak when you are spoken to.” he imparted, his loud voice making you flinch. Your hands weren’t trembling anymore, but they sure as hell were sweating; even more as he slowly walked closer to you and invaded your personal space.

“Uh at… my… my house?” you mumbled, your legs feeling like jelly for the way he looked at you and his approach. You knew that look; the one he gave people when they were making him angry after fucking up; in silence, but scarier than you thought. “It’s… 2020. We are in the real, the healthy…” you mumbled, and he raised an eyebrow expectantly, “...world.”

He looked at you for what felt like forever; and then, out of nowhere… he smirked.

“Look, honey. Sweet cheeks as ever; by the way-,” he started, making you chuckle as a teenager in love, suddenly forgetting everything else. He noticed and his eyes darkened; but you didn’t mind. “You might want to tell me the truth, or I-” He stopped himself, as he heard Rick’s voice, looking past you into the TV.

Now that  was a confused Negan. His lips were even parted slightly as he looked at the characters in the series planning their attack to the Sanctuary, not able to understand what was going on.

“Oh, some cock-sucking information on Rick the prick!” He said out of nowhere, taking a seat on the sofa. You stayed still, disbelieving his disconcerting behavior. Wasn’t he taken back at seeing the working plasma TV with people talking about him in full definition? 

His voice snapped you back to reality. “Hey, sweetcheeks.” He spoke without turning to look at you. You hummed questioningly in response, knowing he was talking to you. “Come sit next to me.” He said almost kindly, but you knew better. This was an order.

You did as you were told and even as much as you wanted to look at the screen; see what was he so mesmerized about, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him or the weapon on his lap. At this point you were convinced that you were lucid dreaming. What a great imagination.

“Doll?” he mumbled.

“Yes?” you almost whispered, too scared to wake up if you spoke louder. His jaw was tight, his hair taken back and you wondered how did he manage to smell so fucking good in the middle of the apocalypse; the tangy aroma filling your nostrils.

“Are you enjoying the view?”

Your cheeks turned red, but you giggled and nodded. “Actually, yes. A lot.”

Just then, he looked back at you, raising one of his full eyebrows. A smile appeared on his lips after a minute and he chuckled at your sweet giggles. “So, you spend your days like this? Looking at… us, I guess?” He asked, tilting his head and motioning to the TV with a nod. You nodded cheerfully.

“Wanna see something?” you asked, already looking for the Netflix page on your phone. He looked at you, confused; and waited. However, you did not fail to see his hand leaving Lucille aside and his other arm going over your seat, barely touching your shoulders. “Here’s you.” You showed him a picture of him in the last episode. He quickly read over what you showed him, taking the phone from your hand. You smiled at his proximity.

“A comic?” He asked, looking up to you from the screen. “And how the hell do they know about Lucille? My last work, too?” He kept on asking as if you knew.

“Eh, well you are… you are a…” You traced off, your voice getting smaller. You took the phone from him; scared of him seeing his fate. “A character?” You failed to seem sure. He laughed.

“Alright. That’s a good one.” He said cockily. “This one was good. Did someone at The Sanctuary put you up to this?”

You looked at him and just gulped.

“I could ask you the same.” You answered.

He stroked his beard, not seeming too worried about it. You weren’t, either. Just very fucking confused. He didn’t stop looking at you; his chin up and shoulders back.

“Alright… If you are telling the truth, then… Can you order italian food?” He asked as if he was tempting the grounds.

You giggled and nodded. Without thinking too much about it, you called your favorite restaurant, feeling his eyes set on you as you ordered spaghetti and rolls. He raised an eyebrow at the fact that you knew that; and you chuckled, smiling proudly to him while still on the phone.

The next hour; you spent answering his questions and telling him about the modern world; the things that changed from before. He didn’t buy it, until…

“Holy shit I am in another dimension!” He shrieked, spaghetti and rolls in front of him on the small table you had in the living room. Just then he did believe you. You chuckled and nodded. “You really think that corona-whatever-the-fuck stuff is like the flu? Maybe the world is going to shit again. Wouldn’t like to be here for that again.”

“I guess. Work has been awful because of it.” You mumbled, trying not to think about that too much. “Hey, you asked me a lot of stuff. Can I ask you now?” you said as you began to eat.

“Sure. Why do you ask for permission?” He said, and you just looked at him in silence. Really? “Okay. I get it.” He understood that look, and you giggled. “I am not that fucking bad.”

You hesitated a bit, but then you spoke. “You killed Glenn and Abe, and everyone hated you because of that. I don’t.” you shrugged, unaware of Negan’s lingering eyes and mesmerized smile. “Rick killed a whole outpost. But that’s a conversation no one is ready for; yet, I guess.” You looked down at your plate and sighed. “Then you have a sense of humor that kind of relaxes me. A bit evil; like that time you killed Carson and laughed about it; or when you burned Mark’s face. People used that kind of thing to say you are a monster.” You kept on talking, never knowing when to shut up; but Negan liked it. He didn’t even touch his spaghetti anymore, all of his concentration set on you. “But then again you have morals. Not like the Governor or Alp- Well, not like others. You steal stuff, so that makes you the bad guy; but I kind of get it, somehow. You feed hole families; the Sanctuary even has a system for points and shit. And your wives; well. They are there for their own sake really. I don’t know why they act as if it was something bad. I mean, look at you-!” you shut your mouth, your cheeks turning red. You looked up from your plate just then, hoping he wasn’t gripping Lucille or something. 

Instead, he was resting his chin on his hand with a playful gaze while staring at you, smirking softly. “What about me?” He asked leaning forward, dilated pupils. You instantly felt your thighs clenching from the way he was looking at you.

“You are… quite… handsome?” You answered nervously. He laughed out loud, but didn’t move.

“Anything else?” He asked.

You bit your lip. You wanted to tell him everything you really thought about him and the times you had fantasized about him, but you couldn't. You were too shy.

He noticed how you felt, and he sit back on his chair again, staring at you as if he could see straight into your core. Then he licked his lips and moved his fingers signaling you to come closer, making you clench your thighs together again.

Without hesitation you got up and walked towards him, stopping next to his seat. He looked up to you and you found weirdly pleasant how he could be looking up and still be the one dominating the situation.

“Sit.” He mumbled.

You grabbed the closest chair, but he stopped you; smirking: “Not there, sweet cheeks.”

Then you got it. You bit the insides of your mouth nervously, thinking about it for a second but… hell. It was Negan. If there was a man you couldn’t say ‘no’ to, was him. You forced yourself to move and placed your body on his lap insecurely straddling him, trying not to put all your weight on him.

You heard his subtle laugh just before his arms went over your body, tangling on your waist and pressing you hard towards him, making you whimper involuntarily and look at him through your lashes.

“Tell me more. What was that you were saying? Oh, right. About my wives being lucky.” He grinned, looking down at your lips seductively.

You gulped, trying to relax your body. “I… well, I think that you benefit them a lot.” You mumbled. He looked as if he approved what you said, so you kept speaking. He kept holding you close, running a lingering hand on your back. “And you never force them to any-“ you stopped talking as Negan approached your neck, the tip of his nose barely grazing your skin. He hummed questioningly for you to keep on talking, and you obeyed. “Y-you could make any of them happy if they saw past your façade and I…” you gasped softly as you felt him kiss your tender skin. You placed your hand on his shoulders. “I think you…” you tried to keep on talking, even though it was hard to think as he slightly bit your skin, “… you are amazingly good at leading people and…” you moaned softly as he ran his tongue through your collarbone and sucked, leaving a hickey right where your bones found each other in the middle of your collarbones. “Negan…”

He looked up to your eyes and his smirk was gone. Instead, he licked his lips in a languid expression you couldn’t quite recognize, but he kept looking down to your lips and then back again to your eyes. “You think you know me?” He asked, demanding.

You held his gaze and slowly nodded, looking down to his lips too. “I do.”

“And?” He asked, recognizing how you were holding back, his fingers on the small of your back slowly moving up.

“And I- I think you are everything anyone could ever want.” You mumbled feeling terribly cheesy. He chuckled at your sweetness.

You looked at each other in silence, his only movement being the hand on your back. Just then you were able to notice something hard pressing against your bottom. You came back to reality as his fingers touched your hair, locking onto your nape and bringing you down to him.

As his lips pressed roughly against yours you felt as if your stomach was boiling, melting against his touch. You placed your much more relaxed hand and locked it over his bearded cheek, just as his tongue pushed past and made you squirm, your tongue rolling warmly with his.

You felt his hands feeling your arms, your thighs, as if to believe you were really there before daring to do something else. You were too mesmerized, as if into another dimension. You decided to take one step further; breaking the kiss and kissing his neck almost sweetly, if it wasn’t for your tongue going over his skin softly and your hips moving roundly over him.

“Such a good girl.” He grunted, his hand leaving your hair and going down your spine, his fingers trailing down your ass. You smiled proudly and kept on sensually assaulting his neck, while your hands undid the zipper of his leather jacket. You could almost feel his grin as he helped you take it off and toss it aside. Just as you were about to go back to his neck, you felt him grip your thighs and get up. You whimpered softly but locked your hands on his shoulders as he slammed his lips against yours again.

He sat down on the sofa you had been on earlier and pulled you closer again, not breaking the kiss as he lifted your shirt softly and touched your naked skin. His fingers were hot and strong, making you take off your shirt yourself.

“No bra, sweet cheeks?” He asked provocatively, making your cheeks turn red once again. “You are fucking perfect.” He said as one of his hands kept lingering on your back, while the other softly trailed over your torso. You were on cloud nine, feeling him hardening against your bottom. You tilted your head to the side, as he began kissing your neck again, this time much softer; going down to your collarbone, and unexpectedly taking your nipple into his mouth, sucking and twirling his tongue around it until it was hard and perky; his stubble leaving little marks over your skin.

“Negan… can I…” you mumbled, shyness washing over you once again. But the look he gave you, full of lust, was enough to get you going. You separated from him and stood up, your curvy body making him lick his lips.

You unbuttoned your pants, taking them off slowly and moving your hips provocatively; your pink panties showing. When you looked back at him, his jaw was tight, as he tried to control himself. Just a second later, you kneeled before him, licking your lips.

He smirked widely, understanding now. “You are going to have to tell me what you want, baby.” His thumb touched your chin, softly, keeping you in place. Just when you thought you were about to chicken out; you pushed yourself a little and wrapped your lips on his finger. You would’ve smiled at the look he gave you; but instead, you twirled your tongue around it and sucked softly.

“Please, Negan.” You pouted, your hands going over his crotch already.

“You know the magic words.” He smirked to you, undoing his pants but not giving you what you wanted. “Say it.” For the way he looked at you, this time it was an order.

“Please let me suck your cock, daddy.”

Negan chuckles, his brows raising as he hears the nickname. “Ask and you shall-fucking-receive, darling.”

He unzipped his jeans and you bit your lip as you finally saw his length. Wasting no time, you lean forward, your tongue tracing the underside of his cock. He licks his lips and carefully takes your hair into his hand, helping you get it out of the way. You kept on teasing him, your tongue running over his length countless times. Negan looks at you, and he knows. He knows how bad he needed this. To be just a fucking man; not a savior, not a leader. Just a man with a woman that actually understood him.

He was taken back from his thoughts when you took him into your mouth, his size only allowing you to go halfway. He moaned softly and looked down at you. “That’s my good girl.” He said, meeting your sweet eyes, mouth full, and you hummed; feeling already wet from how much he teased you, and now from his words. As you sucked on him, he took off his white shirt.

You pulled back and movde your mouth up and down slowly, your hand helping you touch the rest of his length. Negan grunted as you took him down your throat and kept looking at him deliciously. “That’s it, keep looking at me, baby.” He ordered, as you pushed a bit further into his length. “Oh, fuck, princess…” His words dissolved into a throaty moan as his neck arched in pleasure.

Your other hand slowly came down, and you feel yourself. You were creaming over him, your panties wet in your arousal. You moaned softly and circled your fingers over your sensitive, wet skin, your mouth going up and down his length just as far as you could take it.

He looked down at you and tiltted his head to the side, spotting your hand inside your underwear. He stopped your sucking, and griped your hair softly; taking you off him. You pouted, and he smirked. “Who the fuck said you could touch yourself?” He asked, taking your hand and bringing you back up to his lap.

You bit your lip. “I am s-sorry.” You mumbled, but you felt his cock just right there pressing against your bottom; your underwear being the only thing that kept you from feeling him. The eagerness made you roll your hips and quickly he thrust up, making you feel him against your clitoris. “Please.” You plead; your red, parted red and swollen lips making him groan.

“You touched yourself. I have to punish you now, baby…” He said, but you are simply too much for him to not take right now. His hands gripped your ass and you rolled your hips again.

“Please, daddy.” You plead again, and that’s where he loses it; punishment leaving his mind. He could take care about that later.

He moved your panties aside and you whimpered in expectation, as his fingers gently touched your folds. “You are so fucking wet for me, sweetcheeks. What have you been thinking about?” He asked as if he didn’t know already, while circling your swollen clitoris slowly and keeping his eyes on yours. He just fucking loved eye contact.

“A-about you, Negan. About you fucking me...” You moaned, your eyes closing in pleasure. He smirked as he saw you give yourself to him, melting under his touch. He positioned himself and you only notice when he pushes inside, making you open your eyes and moan loudly, gripping onto him as he thrusts all of his length into you. The little pain you feel is completely washed over by the pleasure he gives you; kissing your neck as he waited for you to relax.

“Fuck, honey. Where have you been all my life, huh?” He moaned as your walls held him tightly, as if your body didn’t want to let him go… ever.

“Please. Please, Negan…” you gasped, looking at him with narrow eyes and parted lips.

“What, honey? What do you want?” He asked as he kissed right under your ear.

“Please fuck me.” You moaned, too lost into what you feel to be shy anymore. You didn’t care; you needed him.

He smirked and you once again came back to reality as his fingers touched your hair, locking onto your nape and bringing you down to him just like the first time. You kissed back, and suddenly felt the intense fear of losing him. However, it went away when he started thrusting up into you slowly, taking your moans into his mouth. He felt amazing inside of you and completed you just as you needed and imagined; making you squirm and moan his name as the wet, sinful noises turned you on a little more.

When he felt your hips moving with him, he groaned and let go of your lips. Still, he holds you in place and looked straight into your narrowing, greedy eyes. “Fuck, baby. You look so beautiful with my whole dick inside of you.” He praised and you moaned loudly. “Oh, you like that? You like when daddy tells you how fucking lovely you look when he pounds into you?” He asked and you shamefully nodded too many times. He chucklds lowly and you felt his hand let go of your nape; now his fingers locked on your hips. With that he started moving faster, harder, and you felt yourself clench onto him. “So fucking good for me, princess. I am going to cum inside of you, so, so much. You’d like that, baby girl?” He asked between his own throaty moans and grunts, the noise of your skin slapping his making you feel your whole body as if you were in fire.

“Yes! Please, please! I need your cum inside of me.” You moaned and he smirked, amused. Then he stopped moving; out of nowhere.  “W-What… Negan, please.” You mumbled as you moved your hips but it wasn’t nearly as enough friction.

“You want something else. I can see it in your eyes.” He said, making you bite your lip in shyness. It’s hard for him to keep himself from pounding into you but he felt like he needed to give you the best sex you’ll ever have. He knew you were too shy to ask for what you wanted yourself, so he does. He kissed your neck once again, and you finally felt your body relax again. “How do you want it, princess?” He asked into you ear, and you squirmed. “Show me.”

You smiled softly and kissed his cheek, taking him by surprise. He was used to the kinky, to the pain, the foreplay... but not the sweetness. Noticing his surprised gaze, you got up and took Negan’s hand. He obeyed, even though he was still a bit taken back by your gesture. He didn’t have too much time to think about it anyway, because you climbed back up the sofa, on all fours; your body asking for him to fuck you like that.

Negan smirked and wasted no time, positioning himself in you entrance. Sharply, he thrust inside and you both moaned as he held your waist. “It’s like you were fucking made for me.” He snarled, just as he started moving.

You moaned loudly and gripped onto the sofa, arching your back in pleasure as he pounded into you hard and fast, just as you wanted. “Negan… Oh, God- Negan…” you cried out as he moved even faster; as if your moans of his name light up something on him. “Don’t stop, please, don’t ever stop.” You plead and he grunts, the sound of your skin slapping not enough for him. He slapped your ass; not too hard, not too soft. Just fucking perfect, making you feel your walls tighten around him and your eyes roll back.

“Fuck, sweetcheeks, you tighten so good.” He moaned as he kept on moving. “Come the fuck here.” He gripped your hair, yanking you back until his chest was pressed against your back, moving your head aside until you are able to look at him. “I swear, angel; you look so fucking beautiful while I fuck you.”

You moaned as he looked into your eyes and thrusted into you, making your legs tremble. He didn’t stop even though he noticed, and you felt his hand leave your hair, instead wrapping around your neck. “Oh, daddy!”

“Are you going to cum for me, baby girl?” He asked, but you don’t need to answer as you screamed his name over and over again as well as some profanities, your walls clenching around him. He knew. He knew you were so close. Out of mercy, his fingers left your neck and instead circled your clitoris. Once, twice. The third time, you screamed his name and your thighs trembled, reaching your orgasm as he whispered into your ear how much of his good girl you were and how beautiful you looked.

Your sight was blurry, and after a few seconds you realized the tears of pleasure leaving your eyes as Negan continued to push into you, the overwhelming sensations making you grip onto his hands. You wished you had wanted him to stop, but you didn’t. You just wanted more.

“That’s it baby girl” He groaned as his thrusts got sloppier, harder. “Fuck, I am gonna cum inside your pussy, sweetcheeks.” He managed to say and a moment after, he was holding you in place as he came deep inside you, groaning and mumbling every profanity you had ever heard. You felt your insides pulsating and coating under his seed; making you moan once again, in satisfaction.

After a sweet, lingering minute, he came out of you, panting. You turned around, exhausted, but you couldn’t stop looking at him. He smiled softly and even though he was very fucking tired too, he lifted you up in his arms once again. “To the right, the first door on the left.” You mumbled as you rested your head on the crook of his neck, the feeling of him cum coming out of you not bothering you at all.

Once you were there, he set you down on the bed and slowly laid next to you, looking at the ceiling, the sound of a firework from the distance reminding him of where he was. You smiled softly; your eyes threatening to shut, but you managed to rest your head on his chest and pay close attention to the sound of his heart.

“Why don’t you sleep?” he asked as he noticed you were still up even though you were clearly exhausted, looking down at you as he traced your arm with his fingers.

“I am scared you might not be here when I wake up.” You mumbled.

“I don’t want to go either. I don’t even know how I got here.” He chuckled and you smile. “Just in case, I…” He sighed, and looked down at you; words trying to come out unsuccessfully.

“Uhm?” You mumbled, and rose from his chest just enough for you to look at him straight in the eye. You stayed there, the moonlight reflecting in his eyes as you once again were proven that he was really there with you.

“I think you are pretty damn amazing, sweetcheeks. I hope you never let anyone make you think you are not worth it. If you do, just look at your comics or the TV and well… y’know. I’ll always be there.” He said, feeling weird about the comics thing. You smiled to him sweetly and once again you kissed his cheek.

“I hope you know, if you are back there again; that there’s someone that still loves you.”

That’s the last thing you remember, that... and the little, honest smile he gave you after you said it. When you woke up, there wasn’t a trace of him. Not his clothes, not his scent, not even his cum. Nothing.

You felt weird. The first thing you did in the morning was cry a bit; missing him as if he was dead. It was the strangest feeling you had ever felt; and it stuck with you for hours, for days, for years.

While you took a long, hot shower to try and stop thinking about what you now thought was probably a long dream, you felt a bit of pain in your chest. When you looked down you couldn’t have smiled wider as you saw a hickey right in the middle of your collarbones.

[pugh-bug]

Scott Lang x reader

Chapter 2

I apologise this is a long chapter but domesticated Avengers makes me happy. If you’re reading this it’s meant to be a slow burnnn so enjoy the burning, the Tony x reader friendship and Thor being domesticated. If you like unsmashed lamps this chapter may be hard for you to read I’m sorry.

Warnings: none. unless you count archers breaking things.

You opened your weary eyes but everything was still black. Something warm was brushing against your face. You were warm... and in bed. ‘Please tell me I’m in my own bed.’ Without moving your splitting head you had no idea who could hear you until the unmistakable voice of Thor replied ‘It’s your own.’ He sounded amused. Somehow you felt well rested and more tired than you’d felt since Scott kept you up all night showing you card tricks, all at the same time. Although out of all the occupants in Stark Tower, Parker tired you out the most. The child. He was lucky you liked him.

Groaning you rolled over and face dived into your pillow clenching your eyes closed. Of course it was your bed. No one else’s smelt this good. Unless you’d gone nose blind as that weird advert went. ‘What day is it?’ You felt ridiculous asking but wasn’t this how you were supposed to behave? Youth? because Peter was in the minority being so morally well adjusted.

‘Sunday.’ That voice woke you up. ‘Y/N we can leave if you really want to sleep for another hundred years,’ you finally opened your eyes to see a much happier Scott smiling at you. Next to him was a smiling Thor glancing outside at the blue sky like a bird and a Peter looking apprehensive. You weren’t sure what as wrong with him he didn’t have the worst hangover of all time.

‘Come on get up,’ Scott spoke to you like you were five which just made you scowl... like a five year old. Looking mockingly scared Scott raised his hands up in ‘defeat’. ‘Okay don’t get up. I’ll just eat all the delicious pancakes Thor made myself.’

Thor snapped out of his bird watching trance to grunt before nodding ‘Yes. I’m afraid they are delicious.’ What did you do to deserve such generosity? And how could you resist pancakes? Oh but bed or pancakes?

‘These are amazing!’ You exclaimed (you had chosen pancakes). Thor grinned at your compliment as you ate like a rabid dog. Scott closed all the kitchen cupboards - he was such a dad sometimes - before leaning on the worktop facing you. ‘I’m glad you like them ,’ Thor remarked before finishing his breakfast and going to presumably get a shower leaving you with your favourite ant and third wheeling spider.

‘S- so I have an assignment due next month which is gonna take forever but Mr Stark-‘ as Peter launched himself into a long winded story about homework Scott caught your eye and smirked. You felt as if you were speaking in code. He watched you listen to your friends tangled tale with as much enthusiasm as you could muster despite your hangover. It seemed to amuse him.

‘And I was thinking who do I know that knows a lot about this sort of stuff? Y/N but I didn’t know how to ask y-‘

Scott gave you his best: can-you-believe-this-shit look and chuckled quietly keeping his eyes on yours. You smiled back but tried not to laugh - not wanting to upset Peter. Scott wasn’t as used to him as you were. He must have felt ancient beside someone as young and sprightly as the kid because even you felt middle aged in comparison. Luckily Peter had the attention span of a little child so before Scott could even try and think about asking him to leave he was off. Where? Chasing butterflies and doing something you did not need to know about.

You swallowed your words before they came out once Peter had left you and Scott alone. He was washing up and you weren’t even bothering to offer to do it instead. The hangover brain was strong and you didn’t even remember drinking never mind being pissed. Just as you watched him wash the final plate Scott turned to look at you. ‘You don’t even remember what you did last night do you?’

Oh fuck. Shit. What did you do? What could you have done? How could Scott tell you didn’t know? Was he turning into a psychic because of the quantum realm? It wouldn’t surprise you. Less and less shit did since moving to Stark Tower.

‘No. How can you tell? Have you absorbed Charles Xavier’s powers?’ Thank god the panic didn’t show in your voice for a change because otherwise all those oscar worthy performances you gave in the shower would have been a waste of time. Scott’s face pulled into a smug smile as he sat down at the breakfast table you hadn’t left.

‘Oh poor Y/N,’ he pulled a mocking sad face and used his creepy high pitched voice you hated. ‘Is someone confused?’ He was revelling in having the upper hand for a change.

‘Funny. You’re funny. Now tell me what I did or didn’t do last night before I throw this plate at you.’ You both knew you would never throw a plate at his cute face. It wouldn’t be worth the lecture of Steve on manners either. Steve. What could he possibly teach you about manners - they were fucking impeccable?

‘That’s not asking nicely.’

Your stomach contracted slightly as you could almost visualise the two pathways the conversation could lead to. His eyes were burning into yours with a new intensity you’d never seen in Scott before. It made your mouth dry and you cheeks burn up slightly. You felt like you’d been shoved into an oven without warning.

‘Fine,’ he refused to break eye contact with you and it was infuriating in a way. You willed him to stop as if he could in fact mind read. ‘Please just tell me what happened.’ Normally you only took this tone with Tony, you couldn’t help but wonder if in a weird way it meant you were getting closer to Scott. Atleast more comfortable. That would help you make less of a spectacle of yourself on a daily basis (not that that wasn’t fun but- ).

He told you that it wasn’t as bad as everyone was making out but you had decided to play beer pong with Thor and lost. Badly. You’d apparently cried when Clint said he didn’t want to play just dance and stormed off like a grumpy toddler who couldn’t get her own way.

‘Jeez,’

‘I know. You’re classy.’

‘I can be classy!’

Scott snorted at your outrage, downing the last of his orange juice while you sat in mock disbelief. ‘I’ll believe that when I see it.’ Okay noted. Scott didn’t think ripped fishnets were classy. Interesting. His ex wife was classy - ah let’s not open that door.

‘I didn’t throw up did I?’ You finally asked the burning question every hungover Gen Z member had to ask. He ran his hands through his dark hair but you refused to let your eyes linger for too long. ‘No you didn’t.’ This was followed by a cat like stretch he seemed to revel in performing. You heard the bones in his wrists crack and narrowed your eyes at him because you couldn’t think of what else to say. He didn’t seem interested in speaking either, he was blank. Fuck it. You knew when to let a conversation end.

‘I’m gonna shower.’ and as you left Scott alone in the kitchen to find the bathroom empty you smiled: if Scott had been 18 he would have said ‘without me?’ and thank god he wasn’t. You liked your older men immature in some ways (the fun ways) but pick me boys you could not abide. Scott was certainly not one.

After you’d sucked any joy out of showering dry by obsessing over how sad Scott may or may not be about his ex wife (or if he wanted advice) you dried yourself. You were 18 what advice could you have for the man? Middle aged men did seem to come to you for advice despite your own doubts and lack of experience. When Steve had been left out of a mission because of another fight with Bucky you practically became his mother consoling the drama queen. Tony called it ‘hilarious’ but you had a different word for the experience. That being said you wouldn’t mind listening to all of Scott’s problems on a loop on a fucking tape but bias is bias.

The walk to Tony’s obnoxiously large living room was short from the bathroom. The sound of the cold tile against your bare feet was all you could hear for a moment before the sound of-

‘Shit. Shit!’

Clint.

You entered the crime scene cold and confused, your wet hair was dripping cold down your back making you shiver. Stood in front of the tv flaming at the nostrils was a pissed off yet guilt ridden Clint Barton looking down at his handiwork. Lay on the floor was the lamp you’d bought Tony for his birthday. Smashed.

Nat was scowling at the archer lecturing him on how to carry things like a cross teacher. Wanda, Vision, Bucky and Steve were less concerned. You weren’t concerned at all it was a fucking £10 lamp. ‘Nat it’s fine it was an accident it’s just a lamp.’ You interrupted her scolding which gained you a sympathetic smile from Clint. His eyes said thank you. Nat did not seem convinced but swallowed her pride and calmed down anyway.

You scanned the room until your eyes met Scott, which you knew you needed to stop doing so often. There they were. Pointing back at you : a mixture of humour and the sadness you couldn’t stop noticing even if no one else did. You caved first and smiled at him. It was impossible not to.

‘Are we forgetting he’s a millionaire?’ Scott laughed at his own comment.

‘Excuse me, billionaire.’ Tony revelled in correcting people on how much money he had. How many cars he owned was a fun one too or how many times he’d redesigned everything in the house because he was ‘bored.’ Nat rolled her eyes in your direction which you quickly returned.

‘Really? Billionaire?’ Scott couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His voice was so high and his eyes were so wide you just grinned at his adorable face. Bless him. He knew nothing about Tony’s empire. What no one wanted was Scott’s lack of knowledge to end in a long speech from the billionaire about his life story. No one would stay for that.

‘I bought you churros. You said I had to pay for everyone’s.’ Scott sounded as if he could cry, so naturally everyone laughed. Even Vision. You weren’t sure if you’d ever seen him laugh before, it was so sweet. ‘Well I’m sure you’ll survive.’ Tony’s signature eyebrow raise was code for I’m-better-than-you.

Once everyone got up to get drinks and choose a film Scott snaked his arm onto your shoulder startling you. Everyone was on the other side of the room and no one was looking. There was a chance Tony was to see if you made a fool of yourself but you could live with that. ‘You jump so easily,’ he was not wrong. Everything startled you. ‘Did you know how much money Tony made?’

His hand left your shoulder, making you fight the urge to sigh in disappointment from the lack of touch. He sounded genuinely curious. Why he was fixating on Tony’s money you did not know. He didn’t steal anymore.

‘Everyone does. Why are you so interested? Are you planning a heist?’

Scott’s face changed. He was stood so close to you if either one of you moved there’d be no space to breathe. You wondered if he would ever fucking notice your ‘little crush’ on him or if it would continue like this forever. Would that be so bad? No. It would make more sense.

‘If I was you could be my accomplice.’ He sounded so confident. Of course it was a joke but still .. you? A criminal?

‘Hmm ... I think Nat would be a better choice.’ He smiled down at you as his hand found its way back to your shoulder. His touch, even in a non sexual way, made you feel like putty.

‘Sure she can come too. You’d be better company though, she’s a bit scary.’ You both laughed and then he was back to the sofa with the others. It took you a moment of standing around like an idiot taking Scott’s words in before you could join them.

Better company. Better company. Better company that a Russian assassin? Did that really mean much?

Taglist: @supraveng

[tomtenadia]

Island Dreams - Chapter 17

Chapter 17 for you all.

It's finally moving in day and they have some fun and their relationships takes another step forward.

Rowan gets into an accident and he finds himself married :)

I hope you will enjoy this.

------------

Moving day had arrived and gone. Aelin had been sad about leaving her house but the idea of living with Rowan was far more exciting. In the end they did manage to move everything on the Saturday. After Lysandra had gone back to London, Aelin had asked her to ship all of her boxes there and that felt like the final step. She was definitely not going back. This was it. This was her new life. Hopefully with Rowan in it. Moving boxed had been exhausting and now it was Sunday and she was staring at the mess that was her bedroom and was trying to decide where to start to tackle the indecent amount of boxes.

Luckily Rowan had solved the book problem for her. Her thirty five boxes of books had joined his extra book storage in the attic. He had joked that he might eventually turn the place in a library and Aelin had responded telling him that it was a brilliant idea. She was busy unpacking her clothes when Rowan’s head popped in her room announcing that lunch was ready. “You are wonderful.” She joined him in the kitchen isle and was ready to tuck in in another one of his wonderful meals. “Did your aunt teach you to cook?” “She did.” He answered without elaborating any further. He had briefly mentioned once that he had lost his parents but never expanded on the subject and she was not going to press him on a topic that was clearly going to cause him pain. She ate the food with a happy face and Rowan thought he would be happy to cook for her forever just to watch the smile of satisfaction painted on her face. After they polished their meal, Aelin offered to help clean. It seemed only fair. Once done she went back to her room and deal with the boxes that were still staring at her. All of her clothes were spread on the bed and she was trying to divide them into categories. At the bottom of a box she had also found a couple of her old scrubs and nostalgia had hit her hard. One box was full of knick knacks and she pushed it aside. Definitely low priority. One last box had pictures frames to be hanged on the walls. Most of them were of her and Lysandra but at the bottom she had found one of her and Chaol that had survived the purge. She threw the thing on the bed and went back to her mission: organise her wardrobe. A few hours later she was half way through her boxes and she had not noticed Rowan leaning against the door staring at her with a half smile. Aelin was sitting on the floor and seemed defeated. “Unpacking not going well?” “I hate it. I never realised how much stuff I had. When I packed everything I had Aedion and Lysandra and all we did was just dump stuff in boxes. They were trying to get me out of that house as soon as possible. Rowan sat on the edge of the bed. His eyes caught the photo abandoned on it. He took it “Is this him?” “We took that the night we got engaged. I have scrubs on because he proposed at the hospital where we met. That photo survived the purge. It needs to be destroyed.” Rowan noticed the pain in her eyes. No matter how much she hated her ex husband, he could tell that whatever they had it had mattered to her and she was still hurting about it. He put the photo down and noticed a black dress. He leaned forward and grabbed it out of curiosity. “I bought for a charity event. Wore it once and never had the chance to use it again.” She explained when she saw him staring at it in curiosity. In reality Rowan was imagining her in that dress. All of a sudden he was glad he was sitting down. Aelin saw his stare and grabbed the dress from his hands, a wicked smile on her face “Stay there,” she told him, leaving him alone in the bedroom. When she came back ten minutes later Rowan noticed her and almost had a heart attack. She was stunning. The dress hugged her curves perfectly, it had a cut on one side exposing her leg up to the knee. It was sleeveless and the top of the corset reached just under her collarbone. She turned around and showed him the whole thing and Aelin noticed desire burning in his eyes. “What do you think?” He took a step to her and his hands were on her waist “That I don’t want you to wear this dress outside. I want this view all for myself.” His voice was rough and a bit breathless. Aelin laughed and kissed him and Rowan pushed her against the wardrobe and pinned her there. Her hands went to his butt and pushed him closer to her body. His hand sneaked through the cut of the dress and cupped her butt and gasped when he realised she was not wearing anything underneath. “You will be the death of me.” He breathed against her neck where he was depositing hot kisses making her shiver. “Against a wall is another one of my fantasies…” she whispered in his ear and she felt his hand move in between her legs. “Good.” He added locking his mouth on her “it’s another one of my special skills.” Rowan deepened the kiss, her mouth opening to him. Her tongue gently brushing against his. His fingers slipped between her legs and gently brushed her sensitive spot. Aelin moaned and arched her back against him. Then all of a sudden the magic broke as he pulled away from her, kissed her forehead and walked away. Aelin’s growl of frustration was loud “Whitethorn!” Aelin shouted following to the living room “You can’t.” She groaned, frustration now rising high. What was his problem? “You always do that, you tease me, you get me all hot and then you leave.” Rowan gave her a tight smile and took a step closer, his mouth to her ear “So that when I can finally have you it will be amazing.” “And very short.” She lashed back “Because I will be so horny that I will have an orgasm at your first touch and it will last seconds.” Her eyes now fixed on his. “Who said that we can’t have a second a third and why not a fourth time? I have stamina.” Aelin growled and ran back to her room and slammed the door quite hard. She groaned for another few minutes while she changed back in her comfortable clothes. “Damn he is infuriating.” She threw the dress in one of the drawers and lay down on the bed staring at the ceiling. She wanted him so badly that she was sure she was going to combust very soon. She took a deep breath and then got up again and finished to tidy up everything. An hour later the boxes were finally gone and she had finished decorating it with her stuff and the pictures and eventually it started to feel like her place. She looked at the place and smiled happily at the final job. She picked up the flattened boxes and left the room. Rowan was in the living room reading a book on the sofa and she ignored him as she passed behind him and headed outside to bin the boxes. When she came back Rowan was looking at her. “All done?” She stormed to her bedroom and slammed the door again. Later on when she was sitting on her bed reading, she heard a knock on the door and Rowan’s voice telling her that dinner was ready. She gave in and joined him in the kitchen not without giving him a cold stare. “I am sorry,” he said. She sighed “it’s okay.” He gave offered her a plate with some food “I didn’t mean to piss you off this much.” “I am not.” He scoffed “Yes, you are.” She slammed the fork on the table “Fine. I am. I am, because damn it but I want you, okay? It’s been driving me nuts.” She finally let out her frustration “And I get it, we have a promise and I will wait but this is new. Chaol never made me feel like this. None of the guys before him did. You do. You set my body on fire with just a touch and all I want is for you to slam me against a wall and fuck me so hard that I forget my name.” “I am really good at that…” he smirked and Aelin’s heart lightened. She could not be mad at him. Not when he smiled at her like that. “Someone has a high opinion of himself.” “I definitely can make you forget your name. To be honest, I am positive I can do that just with a kiss.” He kept eating never averting his gaze from her. “You can do that by just be beside me sometimes.” She admitted. That’s how mad about him she was. “Dinner is lovely, by the way. Thank you.” She finally conceded. He smiled at her warmly. And like that their little fight was over. “So, what do you do in the evening?” “Read mostly. As you can see I don’t have a tv.” “I have a laptop with Netflix.” Explained Aelin and he looked at her with confusion. “Netflix is a website where you can watch movies and series. I pay a small amount every month. They add loads of content very regularly.” She took a bite of the chocolate cake she was sure came from his aunt. “We can watch something together.” “I guess we can do that.” “Perfect.”

After dinner Aelin had offered to clean up the kitchen since he had cooked. Once she was done she joined him in the living room and brought her laptop with her. She sat beside him, a blanket on their legs and the pc on it. She snuggled close and started browsing Netflix. “We can watch Brooklyn nine nine. It’s one of my favourites. It’s a bunch of detectives in New York. It’s hilarious but has some great storylines as well.” “We can watch something new. You don’t have to rewatch it just for me.” Aelin turned to him “I rewatch it regularly. I love it so much.” “Okay.” He said kissing her head. Ten minutes later she noticed that Rowan was actually quite involved “I like her.” He said pointing at Detective Santiago. “She is awesome.” “Those two are ending up together. I bet on it.” He commented pointing at Santiago and Peralta and Aelin squeezed his hand. “I like the new captain.” Aelin looked at him but his stare was fixed on the screen and she loved his relaxed face. Her hand caressed his hair and his eyes closed at the contact. Then trailed down and traced his ear and finally placed a very brief kiss on his neck. “She is hot. Santiago I mean.” And Aelin laughed. They binged watched the first season that Aelin decided to call it a night. She was tired from all the moving. “We can continue tomorrow.” He nodded happily. “Good night, my heart.” She said kissing him.

Their home arrangements slowly set into a regular rhythm and Aelin adapted to his way of living. She still felt like a guest and she wanted to make sure she was not disrupting his life too much. He would cook and she would clean the kitchen. She would help him with chores around the house. In their free time Rowan took upon him the task of teaching her to cook. They began with something very simple. Aelin was a quick learner and she also managed to prepare lunch a couple of times without burning down the house.

One night he was in bed and sleep was evading her. She tossed a few times and then her arm extended to the empty side of her bed. She sighed. Since she and Rowan had gotten back from their little holiday she had missed his presence at her side at night. His arms around her and his warmth. She closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep.. “Damn,” she groaned in frustration throwing the sheets at the bottom of the bed. She sat up and decided to get up. After pacing for a few minutes in her bedroom she walked out of the room and reached his. “Rowan?” “Are you okay?” He asked switching the light on and sitting up in his bed. His hair was tousled from sleep and she thought he looked sexy. “I can’t sleep.” She said not moving from her spot on the doorstep. She would not move until he gave her permission. “Come here.” He said patting the bed beside him. She smiled and joined him. He lay down again and she snuggled against him and smiled when she felt his arms wrap around her, one around her chest and the other lower around the waist. His head tucked in the crook of her neck. She turned to face him “Since our trip I miss not having you beside me at night.” “Do you now?” He huffed against her skin. Aelin nodded and squeezed closer. Gods it felt so good to be in his arms. Rowan sighed “Do you want to sleep with me?” Then he heard how his sentenced sounded like “I mean you can stay in my bed and sleep in here if you like it.” Aelin looked up at him and smiled “I’d love to.” A kiss on his nose “But I am leaving my stuff in my room. I can’t move my things again.” “It sounds like a plan.”

From that night Aelin had officially moved in his bedroom. She had finally started sleeping soundly again. They had added another milestone in their relationship.

It was of the weekly mornings when Rowan had gone to teach his swimming classes and she was in charge of the bookshop and she was loving it. Aelin looked at her watch for the billionth time in the past ten minutes. Rowan was late. He would always come back at the same time but that day he was late. Over an hour late now and panic began to settle in her. He hadn’t texted her and that was unusual as well. He had always texted even if he was going to be five minutes late to open the shop. Which he knew it was not going to be an issue since he had given her a set of keys a while ago. She paced and could not concentrate on anything. In the end she caved and phoned him. The phone rang a few times. She was about to hang up when he answered. “Rowan Whitethorn, were the fuck are you?” A woman’s voice replied at the other end and Aelin’s heart started racing. Why was another woman answering his phone? He would not cheat on her. “Hello?” Said the voice on the other side and Aelin woke up. “Yes, who are you? Where is Rowan?” “My name is Dr Jamieson. Are you a relative of Mr Whitethorn?” And she almost felt sick. She had done plenty of those phone calls to know that it was not a good sign. She sat down on the chair behind the counter and placed her free hand on her knee to stop it from shaking. “Mr Whitethorn has been admitted to the hospital following a car accident.” Aelin’s brain stopped working. She could not think and definitely she could not breath. “Is… he…” “We should discuss it here at the hospital. Are you a relative?” Aelin froze. She knew hospital policy and they were not allowed to disclose the situation of the patient to someone who was not family. And they weren’t and a roommate was not in the list of the people allowed. Fuck. Her brain was too shocked to think properly. “I am his wife.” Her mouth uttered and she froze “I am on my way there. Is he still in the A&E?” “He has been taken for a CT scan. When you arrive ask for me.” Aelin thanked the woman and took a deep breath and coerced her brain to start working again. Quickly she closed the shop and went back home to get her car. Within ten minutes she was at the hospital, dropped the car at the parking and ran as fast as she could to the A&E. At the reception she asked for Dr. Jamieson and to tell the woman that Mrs Whitethorn was here. She had to remember her act. Five minutes later the doctor arrived and shook her hand. “How is he? Can I see him? Is he out of the CT?” “Mrs Whitethorn, your husband will be back from the CT exam quite soon. He was involved in a frontal crash. The paramedics found him unconscious and his head took a hit. We believe it was from rebound from the seat belts. Very likely his head hit the window pretty hard, that’s why the CT scan. He has few bruises on his ribs and torso due to the seat belts. Nothing is broken but he will be sore for a while.” “Have you checked his abdomen for internal injuries? Are his legs fine?” Her A&E training kicked in and she went through all the possible injuries from such an accident. The woman in front of her looked at her with the type of look that Aelin used to give to family members that tried to tell her how to do her job. Aelin sighed “I am a cardio thoracic surgeon. I have worked in an A&E long enough and seen enough accidents…” “I had a feeling. You did not ask the usual questions family members ask.” The doctor gave her a faint smile “I guess he will be in his room by now. If the CT comes back clear you will be able to take him home tonight but he will need to be at rest for a while.” “Thank you.” The doctor accompanied her to his room and she stopped outside for a moment. She took a deep breath and finally opened the door of his room. A sigh of relief left her when she saw him awake. “Hey…” she ran to him and kissed him while tears ran down her cheeks. She had been terrified. He tried to hug her back but his body protested at the idea of him moving. “Don’t move. You bruised your chest and your ribs.” Then she looked at the cut on his head and noted that luckily was not deep enough to require stitches. Gently she kissed it “No stitches.” And she sat down on the bed beside him and took his hand in hers. Dr Jamieson entered the room while she was kissing his forehead. “Mrs Whitethorn, your husband’s CT is clear. He has a very mild concussion and might experience some headache. If…” “If he gets dizzy, has double vision, gets confused or struggles to stay awake bring him back to the A&E. I know the drill.” The woman smiled and nodded “I will have your discharge paper ready in an hour.” And she left and Rowan was staring at her with wide eyes. “I can explain,” she said knowing full well the reason of that stare “Hospital policy is that they can’t disclose information to non family members. So I had to lie. I couldn’t say I was your sister because well, it was not believable so… my only option was to say that I was your wife. I am sorry.” Rowan started laughing but he stopped when his ribs caused him pain “It’s fine, I think it’s cute.” “I think it’s the concussion speaking.” And she kissed him again “I was terrified.” She took a deep breath “although before that I was mad at you for being late and not telling me anything. Then I phoned you and a woman picked up. Until she told she was a doctor I thought you were cheating on me.” He leaned his forehead against hers “Never. I would never do such a horrible thing to you.” “We are going home soon, and once we do, you will have to listen to me.” He tried to reply but she put a finger on his lips “No. I don’t care. I am the doctor and you will do as I say. You will stay at home and rest. I will look after the bookshop. And this is not open for debate.” “Looks like I got myself a very stern wife.” He kissed her. “Jokes aside, how do you feel?” “A bit of a headache and very sore.” He leaned back on the pillow. “How did you get in an accident. You are such a careful driver.” He flinched “I left the school, at a roundabout an idiot with a van did not respect his turn and I drove straight into him. The car—” “Shh… we’ll deal with the car later.” An hour later the doctor came back with the discharge paper “I prescribed some painkillers. He will need rest. No work for at least three days.” “Thank you doctor.” And the woman left again. “Come, let’s get you back in your clothes.” Rowan pushed his legs off the bed and Aelin helped him remove his hospital gown. Of course he was naked under it and she almost gasped at his bare body. “Dear wife, never seen your husband naked?” He joked and she tried to keep her eyes up. As a doctor she had seen naked men plenty of times, but seeing him was different. “Ok, let’s try to put the t-shirt on. This may hurt.” And it did. Because of his bruises he was in pain and lifting his arms was not an easy task. “Slowly…” they finally managed and he decided to ignore the hoodie. It was not cold outside. Then she helped him with his underwear and trousers. He leaned against her and she tried to hide her massive blush when she caught a peek by mistake. Gods, the man was perfect. “How is your shoulder?” “It’s fine.” Aelin looked at him with the expression of a doctor who caught his patient lie. “Look.” He moved it in circles and she noticed that he was moving it easily and without discomfort. “If you are lying, your are dead, dear husband.” He kissed her “I love you, my dear wife.” Before heading home Aelin stopped at the pharmacy and got the medicines the doctor had prescribed. Once at home, she pushed Rowan to the bedroom. He protested saying that it was day and he could stay on the sofa but he discovered very quickly that Aelin in doctor mode was a bit of a despot. “Just for today. Tomorrow we’ll organise the living room so you can camp there during the day but today I am home and you will stay in bed.” “Fine.” He yielded. She went to his drawer and got some clean bed clothes. “Not again.” “You are not coming to bed with that t-shirt. First, there is blood on it. Second it’s dirty and I changed the sheets this morning.” “You are so mean.” He complained. Aelin grabbed a tube “wait.” She told him when she noticed he was about to try and put the t-shirt back on “This gel will help reduce the bruises and reduce the inflammation.” She spread a bit of the gel on his chest with circular motions being very careful not to cause any more pain. Once she was done she helped him put the t-shirt back on “We’ll put a bit more tonight before bed.” “I have my very own sexy personal nurse.” She grinned in response “Yes, and you’d better listen to her.” She helped him to get into bed and then left the room and came back with a glass of water and some pills “Take these, they will help the headache and reduce the pain in general.” Rowan followed orders and she then sat happily beside him on the bed. “Do you want me to get you a book?” Rowan shook his head “I don’t feel too great to read just now.” She caressed his head and kissed his forehead “just sleep a bit, then.” “We can watch one of your shows.” She grinned. Rowan did not have a tv but she had Netflix on her laptop so she had introduced him to some of her favourite series. At the moment they were to season two of Brooklyn nine nine and Rowan seemed to love it. “I’ll be back.” When she did she had a bed tray and her laptop. She made sure Rowan was comfortable and not in a position that would cause him pain. Then she placed the tray on the bed and her laptop on it. She put her pyjama on and snuggled under the blankets with him and curled up to his chest, and her arm around his waist. “Are you okay?” “Perfect.” He kissed the top of her head. “Are we continuing with Brooklyn nine nine?” He nodded and she started Netflix. A few hours later Aelin woke up and noticed they had both fallen asleep. She closed her laptop and placed on the floor on her side of her bed. Rowan woke in that instant. “Shhh go back to sleep.” She soothed. He lay down again and she snuggled against him. Her hand went gently on his chest and brushed it gently. She had been terrified when she was told he had been in an accident. Until she saw him in his room awake she could not push away the terror in her heart. She felt his heart beat steadily and she finally relaxed and eventually fell asleep as well.

[rowanwhitethornisbae]

Liabilities Ch 3

Rowaelin High School BFFs Modern AU

masterlist

Warnings: Drugs, drinking, swearing

At the sound of his ringing phone he groaned and rolled over in his bed. His eyes were blurry but he could make out Aelin’s name and the time. 6:30. Why the hell was she calling him this early on a Sunday.

“Ace?.” Rowan said, lifting the phone to his ear. His voice was raspy and low with sleep. 

“Hi Rowan.” There was a pause on the other line. “Did I wake you.” Her voice broke on the end of the sentence and he instantly sat up in bed, suddenly very awake. 

“No no, I was, uh, studying.” He stammered for some lie. 

“Can you come pick me up.” She was so quiet he could barely hear her. 

He was already moving, throwing on the first pair of shoes he could find. “Where are you.” 

“Lorcan’s.” He momentarily stopped. A part of him was angry. So very angry that his suspicions about last night had been proven right. The other half of him though, was worried. Aelin sounded genuinely upset. 

“I’m on my way.” He mumbled, and hung up. 

A few minutes later he was on the road, car stopped at a light about five minutes from Lorcan’s. Sighing, he leaned his head against the steering wheel. His heart was racing in his chest, emotions too much of swirling mess to try and decipher. His head hurt. Everything hurt. When had he given Aelin this much control over him? They were best friend, sure, but there had always been a line. They talked about almost everything. Hell, she even went to buy condoms with her for the first time. When had the lines become so blurred that he was now picking her up from one of his best friend’s houses at 6:30 after they slept together?

The light turned green and he pressed down lightly on the gas. The leaves blew outside his window in the early morning fall breeze. A few blocks later and he was rolling to a stop outside Lorcan’s. Aelin was sitting on the front step, her arms wrapped tightly around her shuddering frame. Her dress from last night was hiked up and she looked positively freezing. Her cheeks were red and tear-stained and mascara ran down her face. Her blonde hair was up in loose bun and stands had fallen out and were plastered to the sides of her face. He approached from the car slowly, like he would a wild animal. 

He knelt before her and she looked up at him slowly. “It was my fault.” She said quietly. Something in his chest cracked wide open. 

“What are you -”

“Sam’s death. I should've saved him. I should've jumped infront of the bullet or pulled him out of the way or done anything. Now all I am is a worthless piece of shit. Getting high and wasted and screwing anything in my field of vision. Now I've even ruined my friendship with Lorcan.” 

She broke on the last sentence and her body became wracked with heart-wrenching sobs. Rowan sat down on the step beside her and pulled her into his arms. Aelin buried her head in his chest and cried. 

“Ace.” He whispered, running a hand through her hair. “It’s not your fault.” 

She just cried harder. Her small hands white knuckled from gripping onto his sweater so tightly. Ever so carefully he pried her hands off of him and held onto her wrists. She lifted her eyes to meet his and the pain and suffering written there nearly made him break. 

“I’m a mess Rowan. Why are you even still friends with me?”   

“Because I love you.” Their eye contact didn't break and for a moment Rowan saw something other than pain flash in her eyes. Although the words were true, she’d never know just how much he really meant it. 

“Ace why don't you get in the car.” He looked back at the door. “I’m going to go talk to Lorcan for a moment.” 

She started shaking her head rapidly. “No no no Rowan it wasn't his fault. We were both drunk.” 

“I just want to talk to him.”

She nodded reluctantly and folded in on herself. Her steps were slow and unhurried as she pulled open the unlocked door and slumped into the passenger seat. Aelin rubbed at her temples and reached for the Advil he always kept inside his glove compartment.  

Despite wanting to stare at her forever, he turned away and walked up the last few steps to Lorcan’s. The place was small, but nicely decorated, and Rowan had always liked hanging around here. He pushed open the light red door. The living room was tidy. A small grey couch was positioned a few feet away from a flat screen tv. He remembered how happy Lorcan had been when he’d finally saved up enough money to buy the TV. Rowan and Fenrys had helped him carry it home and they’d played video games on it for hours. Rowan nearly tripped over a blanket as he half stumbled up the carpeted stairs. 

“Lorcan.” He called out. 

A low groan sounded and then a few seconds later Rowan heard blanket’s moving. 

“Rowan?” He yelled back. “What the fuck are you doing here.” 

He rounded the last corner and stood in the entryway to Lorcan’s bedroom. “What was going through your mind last night when you decided to fuck my best friend.” 

Lorcan, who was now sitting up and watching him apprehensively, started. 

“Fucking hell man. You’re one of my best friend. You know I'm madly in love with her. Why the hell would you do this?”

Lorcan rubbed at his temples. His black hair was messy with sleep and had fallen over his onyx eyes. He was shirtless and Rowan desperately didn't want to know whether or not he was wearing pants. 

“I’m sorry man.” His friend said. “I don't even know what I was thinking. Aelin’s my friend too you know.” 

Rowan turned his head slightly and banged it against the doorframe twice. “What am I supposed to do Lor?” He groaned.

Lorcan stood up from the bed, the sheet wrapped around his lower half. He approached Rowan carefully. “Forget about all of this?” He asked tentatively. 

“Talk to Aelin on Monday.” Rowan told him. “Then I'll see if I can voluntarily catch a case of amnesia.” 

Lorcan bit out a small laugh and shifted on the balls of his feet. The tension in the room had lessened slightly, but not enough for Rowan to invite him to breakfast or anything. 

“I’ll just -” Rowan gestured towards the door.

“Okay.” Lorcan said, pursing his lips slightly. 

As soon as Rowan was out of Lorcan’s eye line he practically sprinted to the car. Aelin was waiting, knees pulled up to her chest on the seat. She had turned on the radio and an ABBA song was playing softly in the background. 

“Want to go to Hazel’s?” He asked, referring to their favourite brunch diner. 

Aelin turned to look at him and cracked a small smile. She gave him a small nod and he started the car. She leaned forward slightly and turned up the radio.

“You are the Dancing Queen” She sung softly. Her voice was light and quiet and gave Rowan the distinct impression that he was in heaven. God if he could listen to her sing forever he would. 

“Young and sweet” Her confidence grew with each word and she began to sway slightly. 

“Only Seventeen” She pointed at Rowan as she sang, even going so far as to jostle him with her shoulder. Even the lightest of touches had him tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

“Dancing queen” She was practically yelling now, her voice turning heads from outside his open window. Rowan reached down and turned the radio up even more, his laugh mixing with the music.

“Feel the beat from the tambourine, oh yeah” At the end of this line Rowan finally relented. Her joy and enthusiasm was contagious. He’d follow this woman to whatever end. 

He took in a deep breath and sang. “You can dance” She grinned widely at him. Rowan’s hands drummed subtly on the steering wheel. His voice was deep and raw with a slight accent. They were the perfect contrast and yet somehow melted together heavenly. 

“You can jive” 

“Having the time of your life”

They continued to sing all the way to the diner and as Rowan pulled her out of the car and towards a booth at the back, his heart nearly beat out of his chest. She hadn't stopped smiling since he’d joined her in singing and her tears had dried underneath her eyes. 

“I’m going to go clean myself up a little.” She told him. 

He nodded and watched her form disappear around the corner and into the bathroom. For the first time in a while he felt hope. Maybe senior year would turn out better than he’d thought after all. 

tags:

@bamchickawowow

[notroo]

It's not that she didn't know. when she met marina she knew she was going through a break up, she knew she was still in love with her ex and if there was any chance, she would have got back together with them. maya also learnt how toxic and painful that past relationship was to her. the thing with marina was that she loved more than she hated, she forgave everything, even the things that marked her forever. maya was aware of all of it. and let herself fall for marina anyways. because how is anyone supposed not to fall in love with someone as caring, loving, intelligent and beautiful as marina? how can someone look at her bright brown eyes and not feel all warm and chummy?

maya and marina, they were never friends. they liked each other, yes. they saw each other a lot, yes. yet they never got to the friendship point. the ironically funny thing was maya liked her first. she was all smiles and beating heart three months after meeting. yet marina was the one who made all the first steps: she flirted with her, she asked her out, she kissed her. maya always said yes, why wouldn't she?

everything in their relationship was developing to marina's pase, and maya was more than happy to let it happen that way. the last thing she wanted was to rush her to do anything that she wasn't ready to for once again when marina could still be healing from that past relationship.

but, just because everything was started by marina, it didn't meant she was over her ex she later learnt.

It was six months into their relationship. nothing could ever feel as good. be as perfect. both were so incredibly happy. and then, marina had to tell her she loved her. the problem wasn't maya didn't love her back but that marina didn't love her for real. she really, really wanted to though.

that week marina met her ex in a cafe. the moment she saw alex's eyes she felt her life fall apart all over again. there has never been anything that made her feel like they did. the both of them talked for hours. laughed. and then, they looked at her with those eyes, the way they used to and told her they missed her, that there was not a day that passed by they never thought about her.

and that was it, that was all it took for her to fall again.

that night they kissed and fucked and marina wished she didn't feel as happy as she did. she wished for it to never end. that time would froze right then and there so both of them could live in that moment forever. that she didn't had to see maya tomorrow so she wouldn't feel guilty. wishes never come true to her.

next day she woke up at 1pm with messages from maya asking her if it was okay for them to meet an hour later that night because she had something to take care of at work. marina felt nauseous while texting her back.

by her side was alex sleeping with an arm hugging her waist. they looked like all her memories. it disgusted her to feel butterflies just by staring at them.

alex woke up and looked deeply at her eyes for a second and smiled brightly. marina felt her heart crumble to pieces in the best way possible. she had missed them so much. she loved them twice as much.

alex kissed her. oh. if only they hadn't. one kissed turn into three. then five. then alex was on top of her and marina let herself go once more.

bed, shower, kitchen. there was no space in their apartment they didn't fuck. marina's phone rung. it was 9pm. she had ten messages from maya: "I'm here text me when your near", "baby, where are you?", "it's been forty minutes, you okay?". and more. her phone rung again, she answered it with her heart on her mouth.

the first thing she heard was a concerned "baby" from the other side of the line.

"hey, are you okay? did something happened?" she heard after.

"no, I'm fine" said with her voice trembling "I'm sorry I fell asleep watching tv and just woke up". it was the first thing that came to her mind. it had happened a couple times before, maya always laughed and assured her it was fine, then she would tell her to keep resting if she still felt tired.

"are you at gracie's?" "no, I'm at home". there was a silence, it wasn't a really long one but marina felt it was eternal.

"baby... I'm at your door" marina felt she was about to die, she could vomit any time now. "I came over because I got worried. it's okay if you can't tell me where you at, I just need to know you're safe" the both of them breathed "are you?"

tears formed on marina's eyes while looking at where she sat, the blankets on top of her felt heavy, her naked body made her sick. she sucked air in.

"yeah... I'm safe" was the only thing she managed to say.

maya hung up after telling her to text her when she gets home and that they could meet on sunday and have a picnic on their favorite park. marina looked up to alex and felt dirty, she knew it was time to leave. before they said anything, before she threw up on their bed.

she lies to maya when they meet on sunday. she just can't tell her where she was, with whom. marina hates herself for lying to her but the thing that kind of makes her regret that day was the fact she has a girlfriend who is looking at her the same way she knows she looks at alex like. she lies also because she can't bare the idea of hurting her. the idea of a day where maya looks at her with no love in her eyes.

that would be the day marina would die.

weeks go by and marina had almost forgotten about that fucking day. maya has been looking at her with a different shine in her eyes, a small something hidden in them. it makes her stomach turn with guilt. that feeling follows her to her dreams.

alex calls her one day. says they got her new number from one of their mutual friends and asks to meet her again. marina knows she should say no. that mistake must stay as a one time only thing. but the way they say please makes her mind turn blank and fall yet once again.

they meet at her house. marina told them she gots sometime free around 2pm on thursday but after it she has a meeting.

oh.

marina can't believe the way she feels when they appear at her door. they look so beautiful, so perfect there. alex smiles at her as brightly as they did that day and marina feels all funny inside. she is so lost in her own thoughts she forgets where they're at and let's herself be kissed. soft, deep. and she reciprocates it, of course she does.

butterflies on her stomach, heart jumping inside her ribcage.

the sound of a horn scares the both of them. marina looks above their shoulder and her heart sinks. maya is there. bags of food on her hands from her favorite restaurant. maya is looking at her eyes mouth agape, tears fighting to fall, her chest moving with shallow breaths. "pain" is written all over her. maya looks up to alex's face and doesn't have to think twice to know it's them. her expression darkens.

maya gets into her car and leaves without saying a word. that's the last time marina sees her. marina runs behind her car shouting her name until she can't run anymore, leaving alex forgotten at her door.

maya knew something happened the day marina didn't go to their date. she knew it was something really bad when she lied to her on the phone and then once again that sunday. she didn't push though, if her girlfriend didn't want to tell her she wouldn't invade her privacy. never, not even once, had the thought of marina cheating on her crossed her mind. she had that much trust on her, on their relationship. and maya wished she had saw it coming because seeing her girlfriend kissing someone else that day... it broke something inside her she's not sure she can ever repair.

she did something childish then. maya kind of regrets it, kind of not.

she blocked marina from everywhere, burned all of her things and gifts, took everything that was hers and moved to her friends, 25km away. never saw marina again. she thought about her everyday though. but doesn't cry about her anymore. maya pats herself on the shoulder for that.

[silverlightqueen]

Ruin My Life - Part 10

RML masterlist

(fratboy!Jimin - lots and lots of FLUFF & smut - no more angst y’all whoop !!)

Summary - y/n and Jimin are super soft for each other and all of their friends are super soft and everything is just super super soft in this chapter

Word Count - 11.7k+

Rating - Mature (explicit sex scene)

Warnings - alcohol consumption, talk of drugs and violence, penetrative (soft) sex, a bit of dirty talk but mostly soft talk, protected sex (y/n and jimin finally learned their lesson lmao), oral sex (female receiving), fingering, jimin gives y/n A LOT of hickeys, I think that’s it but lmk if I missed something !!

a/n: hey y’all ! okay I know I said the previous part might be the penultimate part but I ended up writing a lot more, and I’ve still got a lot I want to write lmao so I think the part after this will be the penultimate part, or maybe this part will be the penultimate part and I’ll add an epilogue ! lmk what you think and hmu if you wanna be on the taglist even tho it’s nearly finished :( x

silverlightqueen masterlist

taglist💕: @keylowmonie @jennafromhome @btrombley13 @parkjammys @chubschimmine @flowingwiththewater​ @magicalpjm​ @sakurauchiha2018​ @kyrie1707​ @simonemothjensen​ @beach-bitch-bitch-beach​ @p-yoon @pjmcth​ @strawberrym0chii​ @bts223​ @lovethatforme97​ @songwingi​​

‘Come in!’ I hear Jimin’s voice call from inside and push open the door of the dance studio, carefully balancing his breakfast in my arms. I expect it to just be Jimin in there, but the room is full of people dressed in sports gear, all stretching on the floor. ‘Oh. Sorry, I must be early,’ I say, checking my watch and seeing that it says 8.57. ‘It’s okay, just come sit by me,’ Jimin says from where he’s sat on the floor, legs spread and leaning back on his hands, the biggest smile on his face. I smile back, walking around the edge of the room to join him. I put the food and drinks down on the desk behind him before leaning down to give him a quick hug from behind, taking a seat on the desk. He carries on with the class, Jeongyeon at the back avoiding all eye contact with me. It’s Thursday today, five days since the drama at the bar on Saturday night/Sunday morning. Jimin and I had a lie-in on Sunday, and even when we woke up, we just lay there, cuddling, Jimin playing with my hair. We didn’t get up until 3, and Jimin left with the promise of doing this right, not just jumping back into bed with each other. He said he wanted to actually take me on dates and be like a normal couple, and he’s stuck to his word. On Monday, he was waiting outside of my lecture for me with flowers and he took me to lunch. On Tuesday, I invited him over to watch a movie together and order takeout, and we did just that, nothing more. Yesterday, he invited me and Mija over to the frat for Wings Wednesday (and Jackson and Chen were there too!) and then we went up to his room to watch Netflix before he dropped me back at home. We didn’t have anything planned for today, and I know we don’t need to see each other every day, but I wanted to surprise him. 

When it reaches 9, he dismisses the dance students for their half an hour break. As soon as the last person has left the room, he pulls me up from the desk and pulls me into a hug, coaxing laughter from me. ‘You didn’t tell me you were coming!’ he exclaims, and I grin. ‘I said I would, remember? All those weeks ago? Anyway, I brought you some breakfast,’ I say, holding up the bag, and he delves into it with a grin. He instantly starts on the bagel I brought him, sipping on the coffee, and I sip on my own drink; a green tea. It’s not very nice, but I’m going to the gym in half an hour so it’s better to drink something healthy and good for me. ‘How’s your class going?’ I ask, and he shrugs, sitting back on the floor. ‘It’s okay. They’re a nice group of people, but some of them are a bit… difficult to work with. Some people have a natural talent for dance, and some people…’ he trails off, obviously not wanting to be mean. ‘Do not,’ I finish off for him, joining him on the floor, and he nods. ‘It’s fine, though. A bit of extra income and extra credit, so I can’t complain,’ he says, smiling widely at me. ‘Stop smiling at me like that,’ I say shyly, feeling heat rush to my face. ‘You’re so cute, though, how can I not? And you look… nice,’ he says, a suggestive smile spreading across his face and I swat at him with false annoyance. ‘I’m kidding! Well, I’m not, because you do look nice, but I don’t… you know what I mean,’ he says, and I nod, laughing. ‘I’m in my gym stuff and I’m not wearing any makeup, so you’re a liar,’ I say, and he gives me a horrified look. ‘Excuse me, princess, I hope you’re not being serious. You look beautiful no matter what!’ he exclaims, and I cover my face with my hands. ‘Stop it,’ I say, my voice muffled, and he laughs. ‘You never used to get this embarrassed when I complimented you before,’ he says with a soft smile. ‘Yeah, but now it’s different. Before, we were just… sleeping together. Now we’re dating, so I know you mean it,’ I say shyly, and he lets out a little laugh. ‘I always meant it, princess,’ he says easily, and I feel warm inside.

‘Anyway, have you got your outfit sorted for next weekend?’ he asks, referring to the ASP rager. ‘Um, no, I was just gonna wear something I’ve already got. A little black dress or something,’ I say, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘Why do I feel like you didn’t get the memo?’ he says, my heart dropping. ‘What memo?’ I ask, and he sighs. ‘Okay, yeah, you definitely didn’t get the memo. It’s themed,’ he says, and my jaw drops. ‘Jimin, please tell me you’re joking because nine days is not long enough to find an outfit,’ I say, trying to stay calm, and he shakes his head. ‘It shouldn’t be too hard to find an outfit that fits the theme though, y/n. It’s neon-slash-glow-in-the-dark,’ he says, and I take a deep breath. ‘Neon? Glow-in-the-dark? How… the hell… am I supposed to find something neon… or glow-in-the-dark… that no one else will be wearing… when everyone in the whole university will be there?’ I say slowly, trying to contain my anger at not being told. ‘Baby, you’ll find something, don’t stress. And even if you don’t, it’s okay. You wear whatever you want, it’s not like anyone will say anything to you,’ he says, subtly flexing his frat boy status. ‘Okay, but like, I don’t wanna stick out,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘You never stick out, baby, you stand out,’ he flirts, and I roll my eyes. ‘Not the time, Jimin,’ I say, desperately trying to think if I have anything cute and neon or glow-in-the-dark in my wardrobe. ‘Well, at least it’s not a costume party or something. That’s harder to find something for,’ he says, and I shake my head. ‘That would’ve been perfect. I have a Sailor Mercury costume,’ I say distractedly, and Jimin looks at me confusedly. ‘Wait, why do you have a Sailor Mercury costume?’ he asks. ‘Long story. And a Red Riding Hood costume,’ I groan, annoyed that I wasn’t consulted before this ridiculous theme was chosen. ‘Are these sexy costumes? Because I would very much like to see these costumes. Preferably whilst you’re wearing them,’ he says, and I swat at him again.

‘How about I take you shopping this weekend and we find you something?’ he says as I pull out my phone. ‘I might be able to find something online, like on PLT or Missguided or something. If not, then we’ll go,’ I say, and he nods. ‘There’s that party this weekend too. You coming to that?’ he asks. ‘Whose party?’ I ask, momentarily distracted from frantically scrolling through the results for my ‘neon’ search on the PLT app. ‘Um, KPN,’ he says, and I choke. ‘KPN? Why the hell would you go to KPN’s party?’ I ask, and he shrugs. ‘They invited us,’ he says, and I choke again. ‘KPN invited you? Who in KPN?’ I ask. ‘Apparently, the brothers did a vote on whether or not to invite ASP and the majority said yes,’ he says, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘You have Chen and Jackson to thank for that,’ I say, and he nods in agreement. ‘So, will you come?’ he asks. ‘Umm, I don’t know if that’s the best idea. After everything that happened. Eunwoo will be there, and so will Jeongyeon, and probably Chungae too. I just can’t be bothered for drama at the moment,’ I say, and he sighs. ‘Please, y/n? At the first bit of drama, we’ll leave. Come on, it’ll be one of our last parties before we graduate,’ he says, almost convincing me. ‘No, Jimin, it’s not worth it. I don’t want to risk it. You go, though, have some drinks for me. No drugs, though,’ I say, and he nods. ‘Okay. I’ll miss you,’ he says, and I roll my eyes. ‘You dealt without me for two years, you can cope for one party,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘I don’t know. I might forget how amazing you are and go home with someone else,’ he teases, and I shoot him a dirty look. ‘The only people you should go home with should be your frat brothers,’ I say, and he raises an eyebrow, his eyes twinkling with amusement from what’s about to come out of his mouth, and I know it’s going to be stupid. ‘Is this a kink of yours I’ve stumbled across?’ he asks, holding back laughter. ‘Maybe,’ I say, the smile falling from his face. ‘Okay, I know I said I love you,’ he says, lips twitching, ‘but I’m telling you now; I’m not getting with a guy because you’re into it.’

‘Bitch, what the fuck are you doing?’ Mija asks, and I pause the TV, turning to face her. She’s dressed up in skin-tight jeans and a bodysuit of mine, sky-high heels on her feet. ‘Watching Dynasty,’ I reply, and she rolls her eyes. ‘I didn’t think you were being serious when you said you weren’t coming to KPN tonight,’ she says, coming to sit beside me on the sofa. ‘Mija, it’s not worth it. I don’t want to risk drama starting,’ I sigh, and she scoffs. ‘Bitch, who cares? We’re about to graduate and you’re gonna miss out on one of the last frat parties of our time here?’ she says, and I nod. ‘y/n, come on, this is crazy. We’re not young forever. You might as well make the most of every opportunity that comes your way. When we graduate, that’s it. There won’t be any more of this. This might be one of our last parties together. Don’t miss out because your stupid ex-friend and stupid ex will be there,’ she says, and I realise she’s right. How can I miss out on this? ‘Fine, but I’m gonna be a while getting ready,’ I say, and she grins. ‘It’s cool, Chen said their cut-off time is 5am,’ she says, and my eyes widen. ‘Damn, okay, we really going all out,’ I say, and she grins, her phone pinging a moment later. ‘Jackson’s outside. Shall I tell him to come up and we’ll wait for you?’ she asks, and I shake my head. ‘I’ll get an Uber or something, don’t wait. And don’t tell anyone I’m coming. I wanna surprise Jimin,’ I say, and she rolls her eyes amusedly. ‘You two are like a couple of high-schoolers,’ she teases. ‘And you and Jackson aren’t?’ I say, and she goes silent, surprising me.

‘Okay, what’s happened?’ I ask, and she sighs. ‘I… I don’t know. I like him, y/n, I really do. But I just don’t know if… I love him,’ she says, and I let out a soft laugh. ‘You don’t have to love him, Mija. Not yet, anyway,’ I say gently. ‘No, but, I look at you and Jimin, and-’ ‘Mija! Don’t be ridiculous! I would’ve thought you’d know not to compare yourself and your relationship to anyone else.’ ‘No, I know, but I just… I want something like what you guys have. Something that everyone can see coming, something that everyone envies, something that every knows is perfect. And I don’t expect that to happen yet, like I know it happens at different times for everyone. But I just don’t… I don’t see it happening with Jackson. It just feels like… flirting and sex with him. Nothing more, nothing… real. We’ve never had a deep conversation, nothing deeper than about our futures,’ she says, and I sigh. ‘Well, if you don’t think he’s the one for you, then that’s okay. You don’t have to persevere with it if you don’t see it working out. There’s no point wasting your time,’ I say, and she nods. ‘I also… I have a bit of a… crush on someone,’ she says, and I nearly scream. ‘Oh, my God! Why didn’t you tell me? Who is it?’ I exclaim excitedly, and she laughs. ‘Stop, it’s not that big of a deal. I… went shopping, last night, and I ran into Tae. He walked around the shop with me, and it was the most fun I’ve ever had shopping – not including when I’m with you, obviously. The conversation just flowed, and he made me laugh so much, and he’s so good-looking, and it just made me think back to that night in his room, after the KPN party,’ she says, and I squeal excitedly.

I remember her telling me about that night; they’d gone up to his room and instead of having sex, he asked her about her sexuality (because he’d just found out) and then they’d ended up having a really deep conversation about love and destiny and fate. She kept yawning and he asked her if she wanted to sleep, and so she fell asleep in his bed. When she woke up the next morning and he was asleep next to her, she was so scared, so scared about what had happened the previous night, that she left. Mija’s not the type of person for deep conversations and sleepovers. She’s more of a make-out-in-the-club followed by a one-night stand kinda girl. So it scared her that she’d connected with someone emotionally rather than physically, sexually. ‘Mija, this is amazing!’ I say, and she shakes her head. ‘Don’t get too excited. I doubt he’s still interested,’ she says, a hint of sadness in her voice. ‘No, Mija, I bet he is! He admitted to me, that night I went home with him – sorry about that, by the way – that he still had a crush on you. If you like him, Mija, go for it, please. Don’t squander this because you’re scared. You can’t just stick to what’s comfortable. Sometimes it’s scary to go into the unknown, but it pays off in the end,’ I say earnestly. ‘Don’t quote Frozen at me,’ she says, but I can tell she’s taken my words on board. ‘Frozen 2, actually,’ I say, just as there’s a knock at the door. ‘I’m gonna go get ready, but I’ll see you at the party,’ I say, both of us getting up. ‘I look forward to it. Wear something sexy,’ she says, and I grin. ‘Trust me,’ I say, ‘I have the perfect outfit in mind.’

‘y/n! You came!’ I hear Sana shriek the second I walk in, the girl enveloping me in a hug. ‘Hey, Sana,’ I say into her ear, touched at the warm welcome. ‘Jimin said you weren’t coming,’ she says, and I shrug. ‘I wasn’t planning on it, but we’re about to graduate, so I should make the most of every opportunity,’ I say, and she nods in agreement. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll make sure Jeongyeon is on her best behaviour,’ she says with a wink, and I laugh. ‘Bless you, Sana, you’re the best. You look amazing, by the way,’ I say. She’s dressed in a pink satin one-arm mini dress and white heels, her dyed pink locks matching the dress perfectly. ‘Says you. Jimin will drop dead when he sees you in that,’ she says, and I hide my face in embarrassment, feeling the heat rushing to my cheeks. I’m dressed in my best black jeans and a long-sleeve black velvet crop top, both items of clothing practically skin-tight. Joon’s silver choker rests around my neck, and a matching silver belt cinches in my waist nicely, small silver hoops in my ears and Jimin’s silver ring on my finger. I opted for comfort over height, so I’m wearing my black fluffy sliders, my white painted toenails on display. ‘Stop it,’ I say shyly, and she rolls her eyes. ‘Shut up, you know you look good. Go see your man, he’s in the kitchen,’ she says, and I grin.

I leave with the promise that I’ll dance with her later, and push through the partygoers to get to the kitchen. For the first time ever, people move out of my way, and my peers almost part to let me through. Perks of dating one of the most popular boys in the university, I guess. When I walk into the kitchen, I spot Jimin sat on a stool at the island, chatting to Chen, a beer in his hand. A few seconds later, Hoseok shouts my name, drawing everybody’s attention on to me. The boys all greet me warmly, hugs and smiles, and when I reach Jimin, his cheeks are slightly flushed. He pulls me into a hug before holding me at arm’s length, looking me up and down. ‘You look… good, princess. Like… really good,’ he says, eyes fixed on the choker for a moment, and I grin at him. ‘Thanks. I thought you’d like it,’ I say coyly. ‘I love it.’ ‘I love you,’ I say, and he grins. ‘That’ll never get old,’ he says contentedly, and I smile, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. ‘You look really good, you know. I like you in white,’ I say, and he grins. He’s dressed in a white shirt, the top few buttons undone, and a pair of ripped black jeans, a black Chanel necklace around his neck, the pendant resting between his collarbones. ‘You seem to like me in everything, baby,’ he smirks, and I roll my eyes. ‘Maybe I do, is it a crime?’ I joke, and he laughs, pulling me down towards him for another kiss.

‘Shall I get you a drink?’ he asks, and I nod with a smile. He jumps up, heading over to the fridge, and holds up a bottle of pink gin with a questioning expression. I nod and he grabs a clean cup, pouring me some out before mixing it with lemonade. He brings it over to me and hands it to me, bumping the cup with his own beer bottle before we both take a sip. ‘Thank you, baby. Oh, can you believe this? When I was walking from the front door to here, people were moving out of my way. Like, how crazy is that? I can get used to dating the most desirable guy in the university,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘y/n, it’s not because you’re dating me. It’s because you’re hot,’ he says, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘People never used to,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘You’ve never worn an outfit so tight. To be fair, it’s probably partially because of everything that’s happened. Eunwoo’s face still looks busted, Jeongyeon’s been keeping a very low profile, Chungae got called out of her lecture by the police and she hasn’t been seen since, you and ‘Park Jimin’ are officially dating, and then you walk into a party looking like sin. Of course people moved out of your way,’ he says, and I give an acknowledging nod. ‘Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s just weird,’ I say. ‘You’ll get used to it,’ he says in a fake snooty voice, and I swat at him, laughing.

‘I thought you were adamant you weren’t coming,’ he says casually, but I know he’s confused. ‘I was, but Mija gave me this speech about not letting opportunities pass you by, and I realised I was stupid to miss out,’ I say, and he smiles. ‘Well, I promise, if anything… kicks off, I’ll sort it,’ he says, and I shake my head. ‘I don’t want you to sort it. I’ll just go to another room, or leave. I don’t need you to swoop in and save the day, Superman. Take a night off,’ I say gently, and he laughs. ‘Okay, baby, whatever you want,’ he replies softly, toying with his ring on my finger, and my heart jumps. ‘Can you keep hold of my phone for me?’ I ask as I jump up to sit on the island beside him, and he nods, taking it from me and tucking it into his pocket. ‘Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you,’ he says, resting a hand on my thigh, ‘are you gonna be my date to that thing we’re doing? I’m sure you’ve heard about it.’ I fail to stifle my laugh and he raises an eyebrow. ‘What?’ ‘You’re the seventh person to ask me, so you’re in a queue,’ I say seriously, and his mouth falls open slightly. ‘Wait, seriously? Who’s asked you?’ he asks, completely bewildered. ‘In order, Joon, JK, Tae, Yoongi, Jin and Hobi,’ I list off, his eyes widening with each name. ‘Oh, my God, they’re such snakes. As if they asked you whilst we weren’t talking,’ he says, and I make an indignant noise. ‘They’re my friends too.’ ‘I know, but like… they’re my best friends. It’s like if Mija had asked me,’ he says, and I nod, stifling my laughter. ‘Are you really gonna put me in the queue?’ he asks sadly, and I nod, holding back a giggle. ‘But we’re dating. Doesn’t that give me like… a fast pass or something?’ he pouts, and I laugh. ‘If we can find dates for all the others, then I’ll go with you,’ I say, knowing I’ll go with him anyway but wanting to find dates for my friends too.

‘Oh, well, Joon can take Sana,’ Jimin says, both of us looking at Joon. He’s stood with JK and Jin beside the sink, but his eyes are on Sana, chatting with Jackson beside the door. ‘We’ve gotta get him to ask her,’ I say, Jimin nodding, eyes already scanning the room. ‘We should get Mija to go with one of the boys and Jackson to go with one of the boys, so they can both come,’ he says, and I wince. ‘Well, um, I don’t think they’re going to be together much longer,’ I say quietly, Jimin’s mouth falling open. ‘What? Really?’ he asks, eyes wide. ‘Yeah, but don’t mention anything to anyone. I’ll explain it all afterwards,’ I say, and he nods, still looking stunned. ‘Well, we still want both of them to come, right? But we’ll come back to that. What about… JK? Who can he take?’ Jimin asks, and I think. ‘Um… I saw him and LSG Nayeon dancing together at the bar last week. Is anything going on with them?’ I ask, and Jimin looks thoughtful. ‘I’ve seen her a lot recently, come to think of it, and usually when I see a lot of a girl, it’s because she’s seeing one of my friends. We can do some… interrogating and find out what’s going on with them,’ he says, and I nod. ‘Okay, so Joon and Sana, and maybe JK and Nayeon. What about… Yoongi?’ I ask, before remembering him dancing with Dahyun. ‘Oh, Dahyun! They were dancing together at the bar too. I’ll ask her about him as well!’ I say, getting excited. ‘Okay, we’ll do some subtle interrogation throughout the night. What about Tae and Hoseok? And Jin hyung?’ he asks. ‘Well, Tae was dancing with Tzuyu, but I don’t know about Hoseok or Jin. Maybe they could bring Mija and Chen, or Jackson? And then we’ll sneak the other one in,’ I say, Jimin laughing. ‘We should probably check with everyone to see if they’re okay with our plans first,’ he says, and I nod. ‘I think we should do some investigating. I’ll go and dance with the girls and try and find something out,’ I say, Jimin nodding. I press a gentle kiss to his cheek before downing my pink gin (and wincing, much to Jimin’s amusement) and jumping down from the counter, heading over to Sana.

‘Hey, guys,’ I say, reaching into the fridge beside them to get another drink. I spot WKD and I can’t resist (listen, I know it’s practically juice, but I’m not looking to get drunk tonight. I need to have my wits about me if I want to successfully dig for info, and get my friends dates for this party). ‘Hey, y/n,’ Jackson and Sana reply. ‘You guys wanna dance?’ I ask, Sana nodding eagerly. God, she’s so cute. I’d so be crushing on her if I were into girls. ‘I’ll leave you guys to it. I’ll come and join in a bit when you’re all drunk and have lost your inhibitions,’ he jokes, both Sana and I groaning in disgust. ‘You pig,’ I say, hitting his shoulder as he walks away, laughing to himself. ‘Come on,’ she says, grabbing my hand and dragging me into the living room. It’s a little darker in here, and the room is packed full of people. There’s also a slight stench of body odour in the air, but I try to ignore it, knowing I have a far more important task at hand. I look around the room for Sana’s friends, and spot a bright flash of minty-bluey hair, knowing Dahyun is the only person in the university, maybe even the world, with that hair colour. ‘Ooh, your friends are over there, let’s dance with them!’ I suggest, and she agrees excitedly, leading us through the people to get to them.

‘Hey, y/n!’ Nayeon exclaims, throwing her arms around me. We used to be close, but as soon as Jeongyeon and I fell out, we didn’t see each other that often. I didn’t see many of the LSG girls at all, except for Sana, because we do the same course. I guess it’s never too late to reconnect. All of the girls hug me, Momo, Dahyun, Chaeyoung, Mina and Jihyo. Tzuyu either hasn’t come to the party or is somewhere else in the house, but I don’t worry too much. I have a feeling we won’t have to look for a date for Tae, considering Mija’s new feelings for him. A Rihanna song starts to blare out into the room, and we all shout (as people do when a good song comes on), beginning to dance with each other almost instantly.  The songs continue and the time flies by, Mija joining us after a little while. We dance and dance until we’re all sweating and tired, and after two hours, I suggest we go and sit in the garden for a while. We pass through the kitchen, getting drinks before heading out through the back door. Conveniently, the table and chairs on the porch are unoccupied, and we quickly rush over before anyone else can get there. I sit on a two-seater with Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Momo sharing the other two-seater, Mija, Mina, Jihyo, Sana and Nayeon sitting in deck chairs.

‘You and Jimin are so adorable, y/n,’ Nayeon says, and I mentally thank her for bringing up boys. ‘Aw, thank you. It’s been a… tough journey, but we’re happy now,’ I say, all of the girls letting out ‘aww’s at that. ‘And you and Jackson, Mija! It was so unexpected, but I like it,’ Jihyo says, and Mija winces. ‘Funny you say that. We ended things on the way here,’ she says, and I raise an eyebrow. I thought she would wait until after the party, but obviously, she just wanted to get it out of the way. ‘Oh, God. Why’s that?’ Jihyo asks, all of the girls looking surprised. ‘I think it was just… physical chemistry with Jackson and I. We both knew it. I do like him, and I think part of me will always have a little crush on him, but I don’t think we were right together,’ Mija says, the girls nodding with understanding. ‘What about you girls anyway? Any relationships?’ Mija asks, and I look at Sana, the girl noticing my stare and her cheeks turn slightly red. ‘Um… well, I guess me and Namjoon are kind of… talking?’ she says, almost as a question, and we all squeal. ‘I’ve been waiting for you to admit it!’ Dahyun shrieks. ‘And me!’ I exclaim, Sana’s eyes widening. ‘How did you know?’ she asks, and I grin. ‘Namjoon told Jimin, and Jimin told me. Don’t you remember, that night at the restaurant when he brought it up?’ I ask, and she nods, remembering. ‘Has he asked you to this thing? The party they’re having?’ I ask, and she shakes her head. ‘Didn’t he ask you?’ she asks, the girls all looking at me in confusion. ‘Well, yeah, but only because he didn’t think I’d come. This was when Jimin and I weren’t speaking. But I thought he’d have asked you by now. What an idiot,’ I say, knowing that the next time I see Joon, I am forcing him to ask her.

‘Are any of the rest of you coming?’ Mija asks, and the girls nod. ‘Daniel’s taking me,’ Jihyo says, and I smile. Jihyo and Daniel, one of the ASP frat boys, have been together for a while, nearly a year now, and they’re so lowkey. They just do their own thing, don’t display their relationship everywhere for people to see. ‘I’m going with Jungkook,’ Nayeon says, and my eyes widen, a blush painting her cheeks. ‘When did he ask you?’ I ask, and she thinks. ‘A couple nights ago. He said he’d asked you, but obviously you’re gonna go with Jimin now, so would I be interested in going with him,’ she says, and I faceplant. ‘Why would he ask you by saying that?’ I say, wondering where that boy’s braincells are. ‘Because he’s an idiot,’ Nayeon says affectionately, and we all grin. ‘What’s going on with you two?’ I ask, and she shrugs. ‘I don’t know. We’ve been talking a little over the past couple weeks, but he’s really… shy,’ she says, all of our mouths falling open. ‘Jeon Jungkook? Shy? He walked in on y/n and Jimin and joined in,’ Mija says, the shocked faces turning to me now, and I cover my face. ‘It wasn’t like that. Jimin… invited him,’ I say, gasps running around the group. ‘God, y/n, you are literally living the dream,’ Dahyun sighs, and we all laugh. ‘Okay, anyway. Who are the rest of you going with?’ I ask.

‘Heechul actually asked me out a few days ago. We’d been talking for a while, but now we’re… yeah, boyfriend and girlfriend. So yeah, he’ll be taking me,’ Momo says, Mija and I squealing in excitement, the other girls obviously already aware. ‘Congrats, Momo, that’s great,’ I say, and she smiles shyly. ‘Chae?’ I ask, and she grins. ‘I don’t have a man like you lot, but Bambam didn’t have anyone to take so he asked if I wanna go,’ she says, rolling her eyes, and we all laugh. Her and Bambam have been good friends for a long time so it’s no surprise she’s going with him. ‘What about you, Mina?’ I ask. ‘Youngjae asked me. As friends, obviously,’ she says, in a similar situation as Chaeyoung. I ask Dahyun next and she frowns. ‘I haven’t been asked by anyone. But I’ll just get JB to take me, I’m pretty certain he doesn’t have a date. Or Mark,’ Dahyun says. ‘Single gang,’ Chaeyoung says in a sing-song voice, throwing her arms around Dahyun and Mina, both looking less than impressed, making us all laugh. ‘What about Tzuyu? And is, um, Jeongyeon going?’ I ask, all of them nodding. ‘Tzuyu’s been asked by Yugyeom, and Jeongyeon’s going with Jinyoung,’ Mina says, surprising me. ‘Yeah, we were surprised too, but she broke things off with that Jongho. I think it was just to try and get Jimin’s interest, but as soon as you two got together, she stopped seeing him,’ Nayeon says, obviously noting the surprise on my face. I’m also relieved that Tae hasn’t asked Tzuyu, meaning that he can take Mija now.

Just as I’m about to ask about Tzuyu and Yugyeom, the boys come outside, noisy and drunk. ‘Baby!’ Jimin exclaims when he spots me, stumbling towards me. ‘Hey, babe. I thought you weren’t gonna get that drunk,’ I say as I get up, letting him have my seat, before perching gently on his lap. ‘I’m not that bad, really. Just excited to see you,’ he says before pressing a sloppy kiss to my cheek, making the girls smile indulgently at us. I spot Namjoon go over to Sana and she does what I did for Jimin. When she sits on his lap, he looks stunned at her bold move, his face reddening slightly, and I have to hold back laughter at how nervous and awkward they are. It’s adorable. Tae perches on the arm of Mija’s chair, the two of them already in deep conversation, and I grin to myself at the sight. ‘You guys have gone awfully quiet,’ Yoongi says with a raised eyebrow, all of us exchanging glances. ‘We were talking about your posh party thing, actually,’ I say, taking Jimin’s hand into mine. ‘Yeah, she’s coming with me, so you guys need to find dates,’ Jimin says, the boys laughing. ‘Well, I think a couple of them already have,’ I say pointedly, a light blush painting Jungkook’s cheeks as he looks down at his lap, Nayeon looking over at him with a smile from the other side of the circle we’re sat in.

‘But, anyway, Yoongi, who are you taking?’ I ask, and he shrugs. ‘Do you guys all have dates?’ he asks the girls who all nod, except for Dahyun, who shakes her head. ‘Would you like to accompany me then, Dahyun?’ Yoongi asks, sounding casual, but the very slight blush on his cheeks betrays him. ‘I’d love to, Yoongi,’ she says with a grin, and I can’t help but smile at the exchange. ‘Wait, so who actually has dates now? It’s just me and Yoongi, right?’ Jimin says, and I grin to myself, knowing JK will have to come clean now and Namjoon and Tae will have to ask Sana and Mija, if they want to (which they do, let’s be real). ‘Um, well, I, um, me and, uh, Nayeon noona are going together,’ Jungkook stammers out, and I melt at how nervous he seems. The boys all look at him in shock, us girls exchanging a glance. ‘Yeah, we’re matching my dress and his tie. We going high school prom,’ Nayeon says, obviously trying to take all of the attention off Jungkook, who looks extremely uncomfortable. ‘Oh, my God, Jimin, we should so do that,’ I say, turning to look at him, and he smiles at me, his eyes full of love. ‘That sounds great, princess,’ he says softly, and I smile, pressing my lips to his. I love him like this; so loving and sweet all the time. He’s an angel.

‘I actually wanted to ask if you wanted to come with me, Sana,’ Namjoon says, the girl blushing in response. ‘Yes, I’d love to go with you,’ Sana says, smiling from ear-to-ear, the smile reflecting on Namjoon’s face at her yes. ‘Four out of seven,’ Jimin says into my ear so only I can hear, and I grin. ‘Tae, do you have a date?’ Chaeyoung says shamelessly, Tae and Mija both looking slightly embarrassed. ‘Um, no, but I was planning on asking you, Mija,’ he says, looking at her, and she blushes instantly. ‘Yeah, I’ll come,’ she says as offhandedly as possible, but it’s obvious that they’re both pleased. I look at Jackson, worried he’ll be jealous, but he looks… wistful almost, a soft smile on his face. ‘Ahh, this is so exciting, like in the space of a minute, three new couples,’ Nayeon says, and both Yoongi and Dahyun look alarmed. ‘We’re not a couple,’ Dahyun says, Yoongi nodding in agreement, and Nayeon grins. ‘You know what I mean.’

‘Well, what about the rest of us? Hoseok, Jin, who are you two taking?’ Yoongi asks, changing the subject. ‘I don’t know. Jackson, are you coming?’ Hoseok asks. ‘Yeah, but not as a plus one,’ Jackson replies. ‘Just be my plus one then, bro,’ Hoseok says, holding out a hand, and Jackson shakes it with a grin and a ‘my guy.’ ‘You be my plus one too, Chen. Unless, you were planning on bringing a date yourself?’ Jin says, and Chen shakes his head. ‘I wasn’t planning on that, so yeah, I’ll be your plus one,’ Chen says, both of them grinning. ‘Well, that’s sorted then. Everyone has a date!’ Sana says excitedly, and Hoseok looks at Jackson. ‘Bro! We should match our ties!’ he says, Jackson whooping in agreement, and we all laugh at them. ‘We should all match our ties, boys!’ Jackson exclaims, before his eyes land on Nayeon and Jungkook, his shoulders slumping. ‘Never mind,’ he says dejectedly. ‘No, you guys all should match your ties. That’s super cute. Imagine the pictures,’ Nayeon says, and I nod in agreement. ‘You sure?’ Jungkook asks, Jimin looking at me with the same question in his eyes, and I nod at him. ‘Yeah, definitely. Us girls can all have something matching too. Something the same colour as your ties!’ Nayeon exclaims, all of us getting excited. ‘We could have, like, cute little corsages or something!’ Mina suggests, various noises of agreement running around the group. ‘God, we really are going high school prom, huh?’ Chen says, all of us laughing.

Various conversations break out around the group, one about us going in limos, another a debate about what colour ties and corsages we should get, and another about ‘what if the colour of the ties and corsages don’t match our suits and dresses?’ ‘I’m gonna just run and get a drink. Do you want anything?’ I ask Jimin, and he shakes his head. ‘Want me to come with?’ he asks. ‘It’s okay. I’ll take Jackson with me,’ I say quietly before getting up from his lap. As I walk past Jackson to go inside, I latch my arm through him and drag him towards the door with me. ‘Come get a drink with me?’ I say, and he laughs. ‘Didn’t give me much of a choice really,’ he jokes, as we step into the kitchen. The party seems to have started emptying out already, and I check Jackson’s watch, the time reading 3.04. I open the fridge, rooting around as Jackson leans against the kitchen counter, checking his phone. I find a bottle of that sparkly Unicorn gin that everyone’s been raving about, not even open yet, and I celebrate, knowing someone must have tried to hide it. I won’t have too much. ‘Do you want some?’ I ask, holding the bottle up to Jackson, who shakes his head. I pour some out into a cup, and then top up the rest with lemonade.

‘Mija told me she broke things off with you,’ I say as I put the bottle away, thinking there’s no point in beating around the bush, and he nods, putting his phone back in his pocket. ‘Yeah, she did, on the way here,’ he says, and I sigh. ‘You okay?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘Yeah, I’m okay. I think… part of me knew it was coming. She wants something like what you and Jimin have, and I can’t give that to her, you know? That’s just not me yet. I’m still young and I’m not ready to be as serious with someone as you two are. Maybe, one day in the future, me and Mija will have the same mindset and it works out, but I think her and Tae are good for each other,’ he says, and I nod. ‘I just wish he hadn’t asked her in front of you, that soon after she ended things with you,’ I say, and Jackson laughs. ‘It’s totally fine, y/n, don’t worry. She deserves to be happy, and he can give that to her,’ he says, and I smile. ‘That’s very mature of you,’ I say, and he grins. ‘I’m a very mature guy, thank you very much,’ he replies, and I raise an eyebrow.

‘I wonder how Tae found out you two were over. She must have told him,’ I think aloud. ‘I told him, and I told him to ask her, too. He said, no joke, ‘the body’s not even cold yet’ and I said, ‘the body was never that hot though’,’ Jackson says, and I burst out laughing. ‘You’re terrible! She ended things with you, and you went and told another boy to ask her out,’ I say, laughing uncontrollably. ‘I want her to be happy!’ he replies indignantly, struggling to hold back his own laughter, and then we both notice that Mija has just walked in. Both of us stop laughing straight away, probably looking like two kids caught with their hands in the biscuit tin. ‘Lol. Thank you. I want you to be happy too,’ she says deadpan, as she goes into the fridge, and Jackson and I look at each other before bursting into laughter again. ‘Grow up, idiots,’ Mija says affectionately, shutting the fridge and heading back outside with a bottle of WKD in her hand, Jackson and I unable to stop laughing.

We head back outside, still giggling, and I go sit back on Jimin’s lap, sipping on my drink. Whenever I meet Jackson’s eye, both of us start laughing again, everyone else (except for Mija) really confused. The sixth time it happens, Jin loses his patience. ‘You two! Stop laughing or tell us what’s funny!’ he shouts, the whole group bursting into laughter at that. ‘The body…’ Jackson gets out before his laughter renders him speechless, and I can’t contain myself, practically screaming with laughter, the others laughing at how hysterical we are. ‘Right, let’s talk about next weekend,’ Namjoon says, looking much more comfortable with Sana on his lap now, the girl sat with her legs slung over his, her arm around his shoulders and his around her waist. ‘Yeah, I’ve got a bone to pick about that. Why was I not told that it’s neon-slash-glow in the dark themed?’ I ask, instantly calming down and frowning. ‘Didn’t Jimin tell you?’ Jin asks. ‘Yeah, on Thursday. Why was I not told before that though?’ I say, all of the boys looking at each other. ‘I don’t know. I think we all thought you already knew,’ Yoongi says, the rest of them nodding in agreement. ‘Do you not have an outfit, noona?’ Jungkook asks me, and before I can answer, Namjoon says, ‘you don’t have to wear something neon or glow in the dark if you don’t want to. I get that it’s late notice, so you can just wear whatever you want.’ ‘Well, I have an outfit now, but that’s not the point,’ I say, having to raise my voice for the last part to be heard over the laughter. ‘You’re such a drama queen, y/n,’ Tae says, and I roll my eyes. ‘It’s the principle of the matter. I should have been told earlier than nine days beforehand,’ I say, and they all just shake their heads or roll their eyes at me.

‘What outfit have you got, y/n?’ Nayeon asks, and I sigh. ‘I ordered two things, but neither have come yet, so I don’t know which to wear. One of them is a black t-shirt dress with stuff written in neon green on the back and a little green logo on the front, above my boob, and then a neon green belt to go with it, so it’s like minimal neon. And then I ordered a pair of black cargo trousers with reflective lines down the sides and a bit down the fronts of my legs, I think, and then a reflective crop top,’ I say, the girls all listening with interest, the boys except for Hobi, Tae and Jackson seeming to zone out. ‘Ooh, that sounds boujee. Make sure you send us pictures of how both of them look when you try them on. Oh, my God, we should make a group chat!’ Dahyun says, all of us giving various agreements. ‘That’s gonna get muted,’ Yoongi says drily, and Dahyun raises an eyebrow at him. ‘I meant one for the girls, so relax,’ she says, equally as dry, and we all burst out laughing, Yoongi included. ‘We can make one with all of us too, so you can mute that one,’ she says afterwards, Yoongi nodding with a wide grin. We all continue to talk about outfits, the boys deciding to keep theirs a secret, and even Jackson and Chen are involved in their scheme. ‘But we told you all what we’re wearing,’ I say, pouting at Jimin who smiles at me. ‘It’s not that exciting, but we just don’t want anyone to find out, and you guys can’t keep your mouths shut,’ Jimin says, making me pout even more. ‘I can.’ ‘Yeah, about important things. A little thing like this, you would not keep it to yourself,’ he says, and I don’t know what to say, knowing that he’s absolutely right.

But before I even have to say anything, the back door swings open, Eunwoo stepping out onto the porch with a couple of his other frat brothers. Jimin was right; his face does still look busted, even more so in comparison to the very faint bruise Jimin sports on his eye. Jimin’s arms reflexively tighten around my waist, his body tensing slightly, and everyone falls silent, us looking at them and them looking at us. To my surprise, he nods at us, and we all nod or smile back, appreciating his civility. ‘Did you guys bring the five bottles of flavoured vodka?’ Eunwoo asks, the boys nodding. I’m surprised; people don’t really bring alcohol to parties and, if they do, it’s never that much. It’s obvious the boys are trying to create peace between ASP and KPN. ‘Thanks. The red berry one’s nice,’ Eunwoo says, holding up the cup in his hand. ‘You should try the peach. That one’s the best,’ Jimin says, Eunwoo nodding, and I’m proud of Jimin for being so mature. ‘Hey, Eunwoo, we’ve got our end of year rager thing next weekend. You guys should come,’ Namjoon says. ‘Thanks, Namjoon. We’ll be there,’ Eunwoo says, Namjoon smiling back at him. ‘It’s neon-slash-glow in the dark themed,’ I say, Eunwoo nodding. ‘We’ll come in neon wigs,’ Eunwoo says, all of us laughing.

Eunwoo and the other two come over, standing beside Jackson, and he takes a deep breath before speaking; ‘y/n, Jimin, I just, uh, wanted to say sorry to both of you for what happened last week. It was wrong of me to speak to you both like that and I think you should know that I’m seeing an anger management therapist now.’ ‘That’s great, Eunwoo, I hope that it works out for you. Keep me updated on how it goes,’ I say as kindly as possible, knowing it must have taken him a lot to apologise in front of everyone like this. ‘I will, thanks. And I also wanted to say that I’m happy for you both. It’s about time you stopped messing around and got together,’ he says, everyone laughing. ‘Honestly, bro, we’ve been saying that, like they might as well just get married,’ Tae says, prompting more laughter. ‘That would actually be the littest wedding ever,’ Eunwoo says, Jimin nodding in agreement. ‘It’ll be sick. We’ll have kegs and jelly shots and beer pong and-’ ‘Excuse me. This is our wedding we’re talking about, not a frat party,’ I say, scandalised at the thought of having these things at the wedding. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll do that stuff at the stag do,’ Hobi says, laughter rippling around the group.

‘Imagine the hen do,’ Mija says dreamily. ‘Oh, my God, we should go abroad! Ibiza! Or Vegas!’ Sana says. ‘Ooh, can I come on your hen do, noona?’ Jungkook asks with big eyes, and I nod. ‘No way! You can’t go to Vegas without me and take Jungkook,’ Jimin pouts. ‘We’ll all go together. Joint stag and hen!’ Nayeon exclaims excitedly. ‘Yeah!’ ‘No! The point of a stag do is to do the things you can’t do when you’re married. How can he do any of that stuff when his fiancée’s there?’ Yoongi says. ‘Well, it’s not like he'll be having any strippers or anything. Will you?’ I ask Jimin, a slight threatening tone to my voice, and he shakes his head hesitantly. ‘How about we do a gang holiday to Vegas, and then do stag and hen dos at home rather than abroad?’ Yoongi suggests, and all of nod in agreement. ‘That sounds like a plan,’ I grin. ‘What I want to know is how we’re gonna find the money to pay for a holiday to Vegas, a stag and hen do, and a wedding,’ Jimin says sceptically. ‘You guys can’t pay for your hen and stag dos! We’ll all chip in to pay for that,’ Mija says, all of the others nodding in agreement. ‘What I want to know is why we’re planning your wedding when you’ve been together a week,’ Jin says, bringing us all back to reality, and we all burst out laughing. ‘Let’s be real, everyone knows they’re gonna be together forever,’ Eunwoo says. ‘I’m not so sure,’ Jimin starts to say, and I slap his chest. ‘I’m kidding!’ he exclaims, everyone laughing. ‘Better be,’ I say as ominously as possible, unable to get the smile off my face, ‘you’re not getting rid of me any time soon.’ ‘Well,’ Jimin starts to say, looking at me with the biggest smile on his face, eyes shining with love, ‘good thing I don’t want to.’

We spend the next hour or so just chatting, and when the time reaches 4, I begin to yawn, tiredness catching up with me. ‘Tired?’ Jimin murmurs, arms wrapped around me and chin resting on my shoulder. I’m still perched on his lap, and I don’t know how he hasn’t complained about being uncomfortable yet. ‘A little,’ I reply, and he smiles indulgently as I snuggle further into him. ‘Shall we leave?’ he asks, and I nod, ready for my bed now. ‘Jungkook,’ Jimin calls to the younger boy, who looks over instantly. He and Nayeon are now sat together, his arm around the girl’s shoulder as she speaks animatedly to Taehyung, Mija and Chen about a cocktail she had three years ago in a bar in Malta and how hard she’s tried to recreate it. ‘Yeah, hyung?’ ‘You drove here right? And you haven’t had a drink, have you?’ Jimin asks. ‘Yeah, I drove, and, no, I haven’t had anything to drink.’ ‘Can we jump in with you?’ ‘Yeah. I’m dropping Nayeon and Dahyun off as well,’ Jungkook says. ‘Thank you, Kook,’ I say with a smile, feeling more and more sleepy, and he smiles at me. ‘It’s okay, noona. We’ll leave in a few minutes,’ he replies. ‘Mija, how are you getting back?’ I ask her, and she shrugs. ‘Who’s got space in their cars?’ Jimin asks, ensuing a long, confusing and logistical conversation about how people can get home without having to pay for taxis.

I zone out quickly, amusing myself with playing with the rings on Jimin’s hands, and it’s finally decided that Jungkook will drop Dahyun and Nayeon at LSG, drop me home and then head home with Jimin, Chen and Jackson will give all of the LSG girls a lift (and Jackson will drop Mija), and the ASP boys will all head home in Namjoon’s car. We all say our goodbyes, bidding goodbye to the KPN boys on our way out, and the drive back is a relaxed one, Nayeon and Jungkook chatting quietly upfront as I sit in the middle of the back, singing with Dahyun as Jimin watches amusedly. Jungkook pulls up to my accommodation first, and Jimin gets out of the car to let me out. I stumble as I get out, my feet aching and weak from hours of partying (the sliders might be more comfortable than heels, but their arch support is not it), and Jimin grabs me before I fall. ‘You okay?’ he asks concernedly, and I nod. ‘My feet are hurting a bit, but I’m fine.’ ‘Want me to walk you up?’ he offers, and I shake my head. ‘I don’t want to hold you guys up, just go,’ I say, Jungkook shaking his head through the open window. ‘You could stay here with her, hyung, until Jackson gets here. You can head back with him, and walk up from KPN,’ Jungkook suggests, Jimin nodding. ‘No, it’s fine,’ I say, but Jimin shakes his head before scooping me up into his arms, giggles falling from my lips. Jimin bids our friends goodbye, and I don’t even have the energy to fight him, saying goodbye too. He carries me the entire way up to the apartment and only puts me down once the door is open.

‘Do you wanna… come in, for a little while? While you wait for Jackson to get here?’ I ask, leaning against the frame of our apartment’s front door, and Jimin grins at me, sending a text to Jackson to let him know. ‘Are you trying to seduce me, y/n?’ he teases, and I give him a small smile. ‘You said it, not me. But I know you’ve said you wanted to take it slow, so you can just come in and watch something if you want?’ I offer, and he gives me a soft smile. ‘You’re cute,’ he says, and I roll my eyes. ‘Shut up and come in,’ I say, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the apartment. I lock the door and turn the lights on, both of us slipping our shoes off, and we head into my bedroom. ‘I’ve got some of your clothes. A pair of sweatpants, and a t-shirt. Oh, and some boxers – they’re clean. D’you wanna get changed?’ I ask him as he takes a seat at the foot of my bed. ‘Yeah, I’ll get changed,’ he replies, and I rummage around in my wardrobe for his clothes. I hand them to him, and he gets up. ‘You don’t need to get changed in the bathroom… if you don’t want to?’ I say shyly, and he looks at me with soft eyes. ‘Are you sure, y/n? It’s only been a week, I don’t want you to rush into anything,’ he says, and I smile. ‘I love you, Jimin, and I don’t need to wait to know that, or to trust you,’ I say, and the most beautiful smile breaks across his face.

He throws the clothes onto the bed and holds out a hand to me. I take it, and he pulls me towards him, the suddenness of it making me lose my footing, and I fall against him, grabbing his shoulders to hold myself up. He steadies me (for the second time in the space of five minutes), his hands on my waist, and grins down at me. ‘Are you falling for me, y/n?’ he jokes, and I roll my eyes. ‘Shut up,’ I reply, closing my eyes and sliding a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him down towards me. His lips press against mine, our mouth moving together in a slow, passionate kiss, and then I break apart after a moment. ‘Do you maybe wanna text Jackson not to hang around outside for you? I mean, you could stay the night instead,’ I suggests, and he grins, pulling out his phone and texting Jackson again. ‘I’d much rather stay the night if that’s okay, princess,’ he says, and I smile softly. ‘Of course it’s okay. I love you,’ I reply gently, and he gives me one of his eye smiles, so full of love I nearly melt. ‘I love you more.’ ‘I love you most.’ ‘I love you more than that though.’ ‘You can’t love me more than I love you if I love you most.’ ‘Who says?’ ‘I… I don’t know. It’s just common knowledge. Like saying 9 is more than 10.’ ‘Who says it isn’t?’ ‘Because it just isn’t!’ ‘Who says?’ ‘Shut up and kiss me, moron.’

He leans towards me and kisses me, our lips melding together instantly, mouths moving in sync, and I sigh at the feeling, wishing to imprint onto the front of my brain. His tongue slides into my mouth within seconds, my body tingling with pleasure as his hands slide around to my lower back, pulling me closer to him. Our kiss quickly becomes heated, his hands desperately roaming over my body as I toy with the short hairs at the nape of his neck. After a few minutes of kissing him, I move my hands to the buttons of his shirt, and I undo them swiftly, pushing the thin material off his shoulders. Instantly, I begin to trail my hands over his torso, fingers roaming over the ridges of his muscles, heat radiating from him.

I break away after what could be minutes or hours – I lose track of time when he’s kissing me – and he instantly brings his hands to the hem of my top, helping me to pull it over my head, leaving me in my lacy black bralet. ‘Fuck,’ he curses under his breath, hands instantly cupping my breasts, and I laugh at the action, a small grin playing at his lips. His hands trail down my torso to undo my belt and the buttons of my jeans, and I push the tight material down my legs, stepping out of them when they pool at my feet as Jimin removes his own jeans. He lies down on the bed, looking at me in my black underwear set with a hungry smirk and loving eyes. How he manages both at the same time, I don’t know. I turn on the lamp, and turn off the big light, leaving us in a warm yellow glow. ‘Come here, princess,’ he says gently, and I smile at him, as I crawl up the bed to join him. He hooks his arms around my waist, pulling me onto him, and I giggle as I fall, my entire weight resting on him. ‘You’re so beautiful,’ he whispers, my heart jumping as our eyes lock together before he turns us over, his body hovering over mine.

He instantly attaches his lips to my neck, kissing and sucking and biting and licking the skin as I wrap my arms around him, fingers in his hair. My head falls back against the pillow as he marks me up, gentle whimpers falling from my lips every few seconds. Once he’s deemed all the marks littering my neck and collarbones sufficient, he begins to kiss a trail down to the hem of my underwear. He looks up at me, to see if I’m okay with him continuing, and I nod with a gentle smile. He hooks his fingers into my underwear and pulls them down my legs, throwing them over his shoulder. ‘So wet. Always so wet for me, princess,’ he murmurs, eyeing my glistening heat, his warm breath fanning across my stomach. ‘Can I?’ he asks, warm brown eyes meeting mine, and I nod with a smile. ‘Words, princess, I need you to say it,’ he says, and I let out a gentle laugh before replying, ‘yes, you can, Jimin.’

He doesn’t hesitate to lick a bold stripe across my folds, and I let out a shaky breath, hands instantly tangling themselves into his soft dirty blond hair. He licks my core gently, easing me into it, whispering, ‘you taste so sweet, princess, so good.’ After a few moments, he begins to slowly push his finger in between my folds, and I can’t help but clench. ‘Princess, please stop clenching before you break my finger?’ he says softly, and I laugh, trying my best to relax. Once he’s pushed in up to his knuckle, he begins gently rocking his hand back and forth, giving me just enough friction that I’m not overwhelmed. Quiet moans fall from my lips every few seconds, and he adds another finger around a minute later, moving his fingers slightly faster. ‘Does that feel good, princess?’ he asks, before curling his fingers inside me, a broken moan escaping my mouth. ‘Mmm, so good, baby,’ I whimper, and he grins before ducking his head to suck on my clit, his other hand trailing up my body to play with my nipples. My toes curl against the sheets, my back arching up, as he slightly increases his pace, his thick luscious lips wrapping around my bundle of nerves, waves of pleasure flowing through me. ‘So good, Jimin, feels so good. Love your fingers, and your mouth,’ I whine, knowing he thrives on praise, and I feel him grin against me.

After a few more minutes of bliss, I feel my high rapidly approaching, but I pull Jimin away from my core, fingers still tangled in his hair. He looks up at me with concern in his eyes, my arousal all over his swollen lips, and my heart jumps at the sight of him. ‘It feels so good, baby, but can you just fuck my now?’ I say gently before biting my lip, and I watch as his eyes darken, and a smirk stretches his lips up at the corner. ‘Princess wants my cock, huh?’ he asks, and I nod with a soft smile as he removes his fingers from me before licking them clean, his eyes locked with mine the whole time, my stomach turning. He gets up from between my legs and pulls his boxers down, his hard length slapping up against his stomach, and I can’t tear my eyes away as he pushes his boxers all the way down his legs, hand tugging at his length as precum leaks from the swollen, red tip. ‘Condom?’ he asks with a grin, the word laden with so much history that I can’t help but laugh as I reach over to the nightstand and pull out a condom. He stands beside the bed and I rip the condom open, rolling it down onto his length as he hisses gently, his eyes on me.

He climbs onto the bed, moving to hover over me, his Chanel chain dangling down, the cold pendant resting against my neck, and I instantly wrap my legs around his waist pulling him closer. He balances on one forearm, his other hand reaching down to wrap around his cock and run his tip along my entrance teasingly. ‘Can I?’ he asks, looking down at me with dark, dilated eyes. ‘Yes, please,’ I breathe out, before tipping my head up and pressing my lips to his. He kisses me back, tongue delving into my mouth within moments, and I’m completely distracted by the feeling of his lips on mine, the taste of my own arousal dancing across my tongue. And then he starts to push into me, and I moan into his mouth as he sinks all the way in. He breaks apart, checking my face for any sign of discomfort, and my heart warms at the caring action. He waits a moment to let me adjust, his breath catching in his throat as my walls flutter around him frantically.

‘Am I okay to move?’ he asks, voice strained, and I know he’s trying his hardest to stay still. ‘Yeah, move, please,’ I whisper, and he doesn’t even wait until the last word has left my mouth before he pulls all the way out of me. He slams back in and I let out a moan of his name as he grunts, his balls slapping against me. ‘Fuck, feels so good, princess. I missed this pussy so much. You have no idea how many nights I jacked off to the thought of this tight, wet little cunt, and the beautiful girl it’s a part of,’ he whispers into my ear, and I whimper in reply, his words sending a fresh wave of arousal gushing from me, and it coats his abdomen and thighs. ‘So wet, princess, you’re gushing. Did you miss this cock?’ he asks between thrusts as I dig my nails into his strong back. ‘Missed your cock so much, Jimin, so much,’ I moan, and he groans at my words, his thrusts even harder and deeper. ‘Did you miss me, baby?’ he asks, voice small, and I nod, eyes locking with his as they tear up the overwhelming emotion I feel. ‘So much, baby. Missed you every day,’ I whisper as his thrusts slow down, longer and more drawn out, his cock dragging against my walls. ‘I missed you too, baby. Missed you more than I can say,’ he replies gently before he leans down to press a kiss to my lips.

His touches across my body are soft and gentle, his thrusts slow and deep, and he breathes out loving compliments and heartfelt words against my lips. He’s not fucking me. He’s making love to me.

I feel myself reaching my climax quicker than ever before, my arms wrapped around his shoulders, hands in his hair as our lips move against each other, our tongues clashing every few seconds. He swallows my moans, and when they become more frequent, he breaks away from me, opening his eyes. ‘Close, baby?’ he asks, and I nod, fighting to keep my eyes open at the feeling of his slow and deep thrusts, his body rolling against mine. ‘So close, Jimin, feels so good, baby,’ I breathe out, and the hand he isn’t resting on, reaches down to rub at my clit as he continues thrusting into me, his tip dragging against the soft spongy part inside me. The feeling is euphoric, pleasure rendering my mind blank of everything but Jimin, and my back arches off the bed, our chests pressing together. ‘Come on, baby, cum for me. You’re so close, wanna feel you clenching around my cock. Cum for me, baby,’ he whispers into my ear, and his words push me over the edge as I let out a loud moan of his name, hitting my mind-numbing climax.

He draws out my orgasm, continuing to rub at my clit and thrusting into me, and once I feel myself coming down, I pull his hand away before interlocking my fingers with his. ‘I love you,’ I whisper softly, and his eyes lock with mine as a huge smile breaks across his face. ‘I love you too, baby,’ he says gently, my walls still clenching around him. ‘Shall I stop?’ he asks, knowing that I’m feeling overstimulated, but I shake my head. ‘No, want you to cum,’ I reply, and he curses at my words, slightly increasing the pace of his thrusting. I keep clenching around him due to the aftershocks of my orgasm, and I reach down with my free hand to play with his balls, the other hand still in Jimin’s tight grip. ‘Come on, babe, you’re so close. Cum for me,’ I whisper before pressing my lips to his brefly, digging my heels into his back to hold him in place, deep inside me. He buries his head into my neck and lets out a strangled moan of my name against my lips as he cums into the condom, his hips stuttering against me as he tries to prolong his orgasm, my hand still playing with his balls as his whole body tenses up.

Once he’s come down from his high, his body relaxes and I remove my hand from his balls, my other hand still clasped in his and his head still nestled in the crook of my neck. I gently play with his hair, my body still tensing with aftershocks. ‘That was the best sex we’ve ever had,’ he murmurs against my skin, and I hum in agreement as he begins kissing my neck, leaving more marks. His hands run up and down my body, caressing the skin covered in perspiration as my fingers continue playing with his soft, fluffy locks. Every movement, every action, every featherlight touch of his is so full of love that I can feel it, feel how overwhelming and strong his love for me is. And I feel it for him too, my love in every movement, every action, every featherlight touch of mine. ‘I love you. I love you so much,’ he murmurs against my skin again and again, and I whisper it back again and again, neither of us tiring of hearing or saying it.

After a very long time, I know I should be responsible and go for a wee and wash off my makeup. When he feels me fidgeting beneath him, he slowly moves off me, slipping out of me, and I shudder at the feeling of being empty. He heads into the bathroom, coming back with a towel, water and a loving smile on his beautiful face, and he gently cleans me up. Once he’s done, I down the water and then get out of bed, walking into the bathroom with shaky legs. I refill the glass and take it to him, and he takes it from me with a smile as I grab a pair of pants from my drawer, and go back into the bathroom. I do a quick wee, wash my makeup off and then head back into my bedroom to see Jimin lying in clean underwear on the bed, phone in hand, all of our clothes folded up in a pile beside the bed. ‘Topless?’ he asks with a grin, putting his phone beside mine on the bedside table, and I let out a gentle laugh as I nod. ‘I’m not complaining, but won’t you be cold?’ he asks again, and my heart warms at how caring he is as I climb into the bed beside him. ‘Not with you keeping me warm,’ I reply with a grin, and he clutches his heart with a smirk. ‘That was smooth.’ ‘I learn from the best,’ I say, both of us lying down. He pulls me into his arms, holding me in a tight and comforting grip beneath the blankets, and my face and boobs are completely smushed up against his chest, our legs tangled together. ‘I love you, baby,’ he whispers, and I can’t help the smile that breaks across my face. ‘I love you too, babe,’ I say softly, and I just know that he’s smiling as I finish, ‘always will.’

[morgansyorkie]

All I Ever Wanted Was You- Philippe Myers

Summary: Who breaks the silence first? Who will finally crave and let every single emotion pour out about how one another feels about each other. Will Philippe’s temp and protectiveness get the best of him? All that is known for sure is that no one will forever forget this night out.

Word Count: 5,560

Disclaimer: Night out of the town drinking, language (thank you @quinny-boy-hughes​ for helping me with the Title)

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The first time you laid eyes on him you thought that it was impossible for him to even be real. He looked like he should be cast in some romantic Disney movie as the handsome prince.

The extremely tall guy sat in the seat beside you and right away you kept coming up with different scenarios in your head on what would be the best way to introduce yourself and talk to him. Unfortunately, you never got the chance to play any of that out because one you knew that a guy like him would never want to give a girl like you the time of day. Secondly, it didn’t help that your twin brother got to him before you could even give him a smile and let's just say it went downhill from there because how are you supposed to not fall in love with your twin’s best friend.

But here you were five years later walking into the crowded downtown bar to celebrate your twin brothers' best friends 23rd birthday. Philippe and some of his closest team-mates were already on a driven high after winning a tough game earlier that night. You walked over to the group of young guys who were dressed way nicer than you and had way more energy than you. Your eyes immediately caught Phil’s and you couldn’t comprehend how handsome he looked especially right after a rough game. You were about to walk up to him and wish him a happy birthday but once again your brother beat you to it. He went full speed ahead and jumped on top of Phil and started yelling “Happy Birthday My Brother” to him. You on the other hand stood there and waited for your annoying brother to be done so you could quickly say hi and happy birthday before adventuring off and doing your own thing. Even some of Phil’s team-mates could sense how tense and awkward you felt at that very moment, so they even tried their best to get Philippe’s attention for you.

Your brother than proceed to tell Phil about how some girls around your guys section couldn’t stop talking about him throughout the game and how he took it upon himself to let the “good looking” girls know that he would be here at this very bar tonight celebrating his birthday if they wanted to come make an appearance. Phil just shook his head and laughed.  

“I’m going to get a drink,” you said to no one in particular and though some of the players standing around you guys nodded like they actually cared, when deep down inside you knew no one care especially Phil. But out of the corner of Phil’s eye he could see you uncross your arms and head towards the bar. He doesn’t get it; he doesn’t understand why you couldn’t have just blurted out happy birthday before ditching him to go to the bar.

“Where ya going, y/n? Don’t talk to any strangers or get into any trouble and while you're at it can you get me a beer...oh might as well make that two beers for me” Your brother said while shouting and grinning at you half way across the bar.

“Stop being a fucking dick! If you want drinks so bad walk to the bar and grab them yourself, I’m not your fucking maid y/b/n” is all you managed to say back before the snickers started around the group and you’re not even embarrassed by it. You’re annoyed and over it and decided in that moment that you’re not going to have the chance at getting any attention from Phil for the rest of the night and that you’re just going to have to keep your feelings for him aside like you have been for the past five years.

While waiting at the bar to get served on you kept going over in your head the many of times you had pushed your feelings for the young pro hockey player aside. You remember all of the countless house parties, bon fires, beach days where you thought that today was going to be the day to finally shoot your shot with Phil and tell him how you truly feel about him, but of course it never happened and you can thank y/b/n mostly for it. It’s like he somehow knew what you were planning to do and he just wanted to ruin it so badly for you. Every time you are around Phil you can’t help but feel some type of way whether it’s seeing him after games back at home in Canada or the games he fly's you guys into Philly for, or after nights out on the town with just the guys and he comes back your guys place to crash instead of going to the hotel to crash with his team or even on lazy Sundays during the summer break when it was just the two of you sitting around watching TV or catching up with life while his best friend is asleep. You’d both cooked together and sang along to stupid songs anywhere from rap to country to pop in the kitchen together and you’d told him that any girl would be lucky to have him in their life and as their boyfriend right after his horrible breakup with his last girlfriend Sophie in hopes that he would get the hint that you wanted so bad to be that lucky girl of his.

At the bar you find yourself nursing a cranberry and vodka even though you promised yourself that it was just going to be a few beers and call it a night, but way deep down inside you knew that this is what you needed, just a few minutes to yourself and then you’ll come around - you always do in the end but this one hurts a bit more and you’re struggling to pin point exactly why.

The stool scrapes on the tile floor beside you and you’re not even halfway done your drink - you’re not quite ready to talk yet, but you always knew that both your brother and Phil have never been good with timing and though your brother would apologize you just feel like it doesn’t like seem to matter much in the moment.

“Don’t worry about it, y/b/n” you tell him, eyes on your drink. “I’m just going to finish this over here but I’ll come back over to the group,” you sighed.

You wonder if they had even heard you, you were surprised at how quiet they both were. “Umm, I think that you have mistaken me for someone else” You heard a stranger's voice say aloud.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I...I thought you were someone else that I am here with.” You said whipping your head over to the direction of the unfamiliar voice.  

“No worries and wow what is a gorgeous young lady like you doing at the bar all by her lonesome?” The strange male asked while trying to get the bartenders attention

“On no no no I am here with a group of people, just needed to get away for a few to collect my thoughts and just have a drink alone. But it’s totally fine, my thoughts about him can wait another day I shouldn’t let them take control over the night anyways.” You said taking another sip of your drink

Phil leans against the table and looks over in your direction but tries not to make it obviously to the guys that he standing there watching your every move. His mind totally goes blank during the story that Travis was in the middle of telling when he sees you talking to some random guy next to you at the bar. His chest starts to tighten at the site of you talking to another dude instead of being right next to him or at least around him. He wonders to himself is he ever going to get the courage to tell you how feels about you without his best friend wanting to rip his head off or will someday he just be able to shake all of these feelings and just get over you.  

You sit there still making small talk to the guy whose name you don’t remember and could care less about even though he will probably be trying to give you his name again along with his number eventually. Your mind was doing many actions at once that you didn’t even notice the bartender placing a couple of drinks to the side of you, if you figured it was for another customer so just completely ignored it and tried focusing on what the dude was blabbing on about.  

Phil doesn’t leave your side though and he knows that you don’t know that it’s him standing there next to you, which he is kind of glad about since he is trying to ease drop on the conversation that you're having with this random dude. When Phil see’s the guy fixing the bar stool so he could get closer to you, that is when he decided to leap into action. He picks up his beer that he just got and took a quick sip of it before sliding over a new order of cranberry and vodka in front of where your hands are running through the condensation on the glass and rested his other hand on top of your shoulder.

You jumped immediately when you felt a hand lay on your shoulder and your eyes bugged out when you saw a freshly new drink sitting in front you. You quickly snapped your head around to see Philippe standing there with an adorable goofy grin on his face.

“Philippe Myers you scared the living hell out of me!” You said yelling at him while smacking his arm playfully  

Phil just smiled and laughed back at you while rubbing your shoulder. “Sorry princess I didn’t mean to startle you, I was just wanted to come over and make sure that you were okay since you never returned with your drink nor did I receive my happy birthday and hug from you.” He said with arms wide open waiting for his hug like a little kid

“Happy Birthday you leaf eater” You said giggling aloud and giving Phil a huge hug

“I swear I’m going to kill Kevin for that awful nickname”. Phil said shaking his head and taking another sip of his beer

“Also thank you for the drink you didn’t have to do that, you’re the birthday boy. I should be the one buying you drinks.” You said shaking your head and rolling your eyes at him

You completely forget you were in the middle of talking to the random guy next to you, until he cleared his throat and got your attention back.

“I didn’t realize you had, um,” The random guy said trying to figure out how to address the situation next to you

“I don’t,” you say even though you badly wanted to be like yup this is Phil my talented handsome and athletic boyfriend who could kick your ass in a heartbeat. Instead you told him that Phil was your brothers' best friend whose birthday it is and that you are all out here celebrating it.

Phil isn’t sure what to say though, not sure what he should do in this type of situation even though he so badly wants to grab you and say “yeah buddy she’s taken so kindly back off before it gets ugly”. But he doesn’t know how you would feel about that or how you truly feel about him at all. He’s pretty sure he does love you, wait he knows that he is madly in love with you, he just doesn’t know how to express it to you or how to get you to express your feelings towards him. He’s pretty sure that’s why the boys tell him he’s an idiot all the time for not being honest with his emotions or why Kevin gave him that ridiculous lecture a few weeks ago stating that he needs to have a serious talk with both y/b/n and you and let everything off of his chest. He always thought that Sophie was the one for him and that it would be the both of them at the end of time and that they’d have kids who would grow up watching their dad play hockey and spend their summer back home surrounded by friends and family. But now Phil sees how Sophie was never truly the one for him that in fact you have been the dream girl that he has been waiting for his whole life for. Sophie hated when he lost his temper on the ice and hated how he was always in a bad mood after a tough loss and would rather drive home in silence than to pay attention and have a conversation with her the whole way home to his apartment. But again, you completely understood it all and would text him letting him know that you watched the game and that you were always going to be there for him no matter what. Sophie couldn’t stand nor did she want to listen to country or ridiculous poppy music in the kitchen while showing him how to properly bake cookies or whatever else he was in the mood for. Phil suddenly knew that Sophie wasn’t in the relationship for the right reasons anymore, he couldn’t see he himself sitting on the porch swing all morning back in Moncton, New-Brunswick with Sophie and though Phil hasn’t had the chance to enjoy that moment with you yet, you’ve surely had coffee with him enough times on the balcony at his apartment that he knows you’ll love it and now he can’t think of anything he wants more in the world than to see you beside him while the sun rises each and every single day.

Y/n almost finished the drink that you got for her while you lose yourself in visions of your guys friendship and visions of the future and when you pull yourself back where you are still standing behind y/n making the random guy still sitting next to her feel rather awkward while trying his best to hit on her without pissing you off. If only a few of the guys could walk by right about now because they surely would be living for this situation that is brewing.  

“Hey man, I know she's your friend and all, and that it’s your birthday but can you just leave us alone for a little while longer and get back to your boys. I promise I’ll send her over to you guys once we are done.” The random said guy said while trying to place his hand on top of your thigh.

“Excuse me what?!” You said practically choking on your drink.  

“Oh god are you okay? The guy at the bar asked as he went to go pat your back

But Phil was already on it, patting and rubbing your back. He wasn’t going to let this creep guy touch you in any type of way.

“I’m so sorry y/n I didn’t mean for that to happen. But what I was trying to say is that I liked where are conversation was going and I want to continue to talk to you but it be more of just us. I want to get to know you more and see why you have such a horrible taste in a hockey team.” The guy said with a laugh while pointing out your Philadelphia Flyers shirt underneath your black leather jacket.

You could feel Philippe starting to get uncomfortable behind you, you felt his hand go from your shoulder to your waist. In that very moment, his touch had sent chills down your spine and lit a fire in your chest and you would be lying to yourself if you didn’t love the way he rested his hand on your waist. It felt like complete home and you just wanted him to keep it there forever, but even more now in this moment because you didn’t like where this was going with the guy next to you.

“Excuse me, what is so wrong with my choice of hockey team? You do realize you're sitting in a bar in downtown Philadelphia where like 95% of this place is Flyers fans right? You said side eyeing him while you finish off your drink.

“I do realize that, but to me they are utter trash especially the defense. I don’t know the guy's name or anything, but the one defensive player is a complete waste of talent.” The guy said shaking his head in utter disgust “But I have a feeling that I could totally change your mind and make you switch teams just like that.” He said with a playful smile and a pat to your thigh.

“Which defensive player are you talking about? This whole team has such an amazing talent, especially on defense so I don’t know what you are on about buddy and no, never in a million years will anyone make me switch my team thank you very much.” You said to him and quickly glance back at Phil to give him a reassurance smile that you will never ever let anyone diss him or his team mates like that

“Alright for real man! You gotta go, you keep distracting her from our lovely conversation. Go back and hangout with the boys and like I said once we are done and we both get what we want from this, then she’ll make her way back over.” The guy said with a cocky grin plastered on his face

Phil had enough of this guy, he had enough of him talking about you in that type of way. You weren’t some pawn or game piece to be played with like that.  

Phil stepped away from you and your veins immediately went to ice, you missed his touch you tried grabbing for his hand to hold just so you could get warmth back into your body.

“Don’t you ever and I mean EVER talk about her like that again! She isn’t a toy and no you will not send her back when you are “done” because your time is up and I’m not letting her be alone with you anymore you fucking creep.” Phil said between clenched teeth

“Really my dude you want to go there?” The guy said getting off the bar stool and standing in front of Phil. “I haven’t done anything wrong and everything was going perfectly fine until you showed up.” The guy said poking at Phil’s chest

You looked up at the two men, the random guy which you think his name is Brad who knows like you said earlier you weren’t totally paying any attention when he first introduced himself. Anyways this Brad guy had some height and size to him but Phil still had a good five plus inches on the guy and by the way you saw his jaw clench you knew this wasn’t going to end well for Brad or whatever his name is.

“Don’t touch me...don’t touch her...don’t touch anyone and just leave before you regret everything.” Phil said with vile boiling up in his throat

“Enough! The both of you please stop, not right here and not tonight. It’s not worth it, you both are crossing the line right now.” You said jumping to your feet and squeezing yourself in between both men before a punch is thrown.

Thankfully in the meantime your twin brother looked over in your direction and could sense and see the pleading look in both your eyes and your body figure. “Dude something doesn’t seem right.” Y/b/n said while tapping on Kevin’s shoulder and pointing him into the direction at the bar

“Let’s go check it out.” Kevin said in a hurry and headed over to bar where you and Phil were

“Everything alright over here?” Y/b/n said with Kevin right by his side  

“Actually, no everything is not okay! This guy couldn’t mind his own damn business and had to ruin a great time and conversation I was having with this lovely lady over here.” Brad had said while pointing his finger over at Phil

“Fuck off dude, you were acting like a complete scum and was treating her like she was a little kid.” Phil spat back

Brad went to go grab his drink off the bar to chuck it at Phil not realizing that you were still standing in between them

“y/n watch out!” Your brother said grabbing and pulling you out of the way and tossing you over to Kevin

At this point, Phil’s blood had boiled over. Every emotion he was feeling that evening was suddenly washed away with anger

“You got to be fucking kidding me, right?” He yelled while trying to go after Brad

“TK come get y/n and bring her outside for some fresh air.” Kevin said calling Travis over

“Come on y/n let's get out of here for a few minutes and get some much-needed fresh air.” Travis said grabbing your waist lightly and walking outside to sit on a bench out front of the bar

You and Travis are sitting on the bench outside in silence at first in the brisk cold Philly air, until you finally spoke up. “This is all my fault...I ruined the night...I ruined his birthday. I should never have come out to begin with, it’s not like he would have cared if I didn’t show up. He is my brother’s best friend, not mine.” You said while picking at the strings from the rip in your jeans.  

“Don’t say that y/n you didn’t ruin anything especially Phil’s birthday, and of course he would have cared if you didn’t show up. If he didn’t care if you were here or not than he surely would have not have tried to fight some guy in the bar for you tonight.” Travis said while putting his hand onto your shoulder to ease your mind.

“Maybe it’s for the best if I just go, I’ll order myself an Uber and head to the hotel so you guys can enjoy the rest of the night and Phil can enjoy what’s left of his birthday without me being around to cause any trouble.” You say as you pull out your phone and order an Uber.

Phil doesn’t know what to do and though Kevin, Nolan and your brother all tell him what a moron he is from practically almost killing a guy in a bar.  

“Dude, I know how much you like my sister. I’m not stupid nor was I just born yesterday, but man violence isn’t the way of showing her how much she means to you.” Y/b/n said while patting Phil on the head as he is sitting down for once. “Just go outside and talk to her, let her finally know how you feel.”

“I guess you're right, even though I don’t think I can handle any type of rejection right now.” Phil said as he grabs his own coat and heads for the door before anybody else can add on to the chirping.

“y/n before you order yourself an uber, just talk to him. Everything was just a big misunderstanding tonight; I’m sure Phil wouldn’t want to see you leave either.” Travis said while standing up so Phil could sit on the bench next to you.

You don’t even answer Travis or look up from your phone or even realize that Travis had left and that now Phil was the one sitting next to you on the bench until he broke the silence between you two.

“You’re leaving?” He said in a hurt whisper voice

His voice made you snap out of it. “Yeah, I’m going to order an Uber home, it’s better if I just go. I ruined the night and ruined your birthday Phil. I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to cause any drama.” You said while staring at the phone laying in your lap

Phil couldn’t get over how you managed to look so beautiful while you were in a distress state and he hates how you are putting all of the blame on yourself; he knows that you didn’t do anything wrong. “y/n please don’t go...please stay. I’m begging you to stay, I need you to stay.” He said as he reaches for your hand

“I shouldn’t have come, I should have just let you enjoy your birthday night with just the guys and then I could have just seen you tomorrow for brunch or something.” That way you could been talking and flirting with girls, instead of trying to look out for me.” You said as you ran your fingers through your hair.

“Are you kidding me? Out of everyone here, you’re the only one that matters to me, you’re the only one that I care about. That’s why I got so defensive and protective over you when I saw you talking to that guy.” He said while finally grabbing your hand and lacing it with his hoping that you wouldn’t pull away

"I think the word you are looking for is jealous Phil...I have never seen that side of you before. Sure, I have seen you in a protective state many of times, but I have never seen you so damn jealous...especially over a girl like me.” You said slowly looking up at him

You’re just now sitting there staring at him, waiting for a reason to why he acted out in pure jealously tonight. For the past five years Philippe has been nothing more than your brother’s best friend, nothing more than the guy that you had to keep pushing away feelings for because god forbid someone as attractive as him and someone who is way more richer than you could ever fall for a simple average girl like you.

Phil looks right into your eyes, his head cocked a little to the side on the fact that you did in fact call him out for his jealously, but mostly he is confused on why you think that he wouldn’t find you attractive. You’re smart, funny and drop dead gorgeous in his eyes, he doesn’t understand why no guy has made you theirs yet, but again he is glad because the only guy you deserve to be with is him.  

Phil isn’t exactly sure what to do or say next, he catches your beauty in the lit light from the street lights and just pulled you in closer to his body.

“I’ve never been in love; you know that right” he said out of the blue and you’re not sure what you were expecting for him to say but it’s not that and Phil can see your brow furrow as he keeps speaking. “I’ve never been in love but I think I could be, or I think that I am in love in already” He said in like a question and now you’re really confused because he could be talking about anyone and from experience love is a thing you know for sure, so you really don’t understand what he is getting at.

“Philippe Myers, what in the fuck are you trying to get at? Why are you bringing this up and where is this coming from? Are you considering reaching back out to Sophie?” You ask with a confused look trying to see if you can get any answers from the look in his eyes.

“God no y/n! It’s you, you’re the one who I am in love with! You’re all the good things somebody could ever want, you’re beautiful and sexy as hell and you’re smarter than everyone else I know combined and yet you’re always there for me when I need someone the most. I have taken our friendship for granted at times, I have let my emotions eat me alive because of what y/b/n might think or react if I told you how I truly felt.”

You simply stared at each other now while holding each others hands with inter lock fingers because you’re trying to process what he’s said and honestly your mind is completely blown away.  

“What? You love me?” They’re the first words you speak in several minutes and Phil nods like he has said the wrong thing or like he has disappointed his own mother or something. He’s never been good with feelings or explaining himself.

“Yes y/n, I have loved you since we were eighteen. I have felt feelings for you since the moment I laid eyes on you five years ago. It’s why I chose to sit next to you in class, so I could get to know you better, but your brother must have known my plan or something. I don’t really know,” Phil said as he took a piece of your hair and pushed it back behind your ear. “You’re the person I think of when something good has happened and you’re the person who I want to go to for advice. You’re the girl who I want to call me out for being a dumb idiot and the girl who I want to see in the stands wearing my jersey all the time”

“I already wear your jersey to the games that I go to Phil” you said interrupting him but he shakes his head.

“No, I want to get you the cute special girlfriend jersey that all of the other guys wives and girlfriends wear” he continues on, “I want to bring you to team events as my girl and show you off to the team. I want to move you out here and live with me in my apartment, I want to wake up to you by my side every single day of my life. I want to miss your face and face-time you until you fall asleep on me when I’m away on a road game. I can’t keep these feelings inside of me any longer y/n and I completely understand if you don’t feel the same way. I just...I just need to get all of this off of my chest before I explode.

“I love you.” Is all that you could say right now

“Don’t say it unless you mean it, y/n,” Phil whisper and you think that he might actually break down and cry, you’re not even sure yourself that you won’t break down and cry with him because you can feel the tears prick in your eyes and so you blink a few times to try and control them.

“I’m serious Phil, I’m so in love with you. These past five years I have been pushing my emotions and feelings for you away because I knew you were just my brother’s best friend and I thought that never in a million years that a guy so fucking hot would ever see a normal girl like me beautiful. Plus, I didn’t want to hear all the comments and chirping from y/b/n in case you didn’t feel the same way and ruin your guys friendship.” You said inching closer to him

Phil grabs you and pulls you into his lap, so he could wrap his arms around your waist and you could wrap your arms around his neck, with your legs hanging off to the side. The two of you stay there for what seemed like a few minutes or hours or days, you’re not really sure until Phil leans in and kisses you so very carefully. “I have been waiting for years to kiss those lips of yours”. He said leaning his forehead against yours and pushes your hair back once more, before bringing his lips back down to yours.

You kiss him back so loving and passionately, not wanting to break from him in case for some strange reason he changes his mind or says that this was all just a joke and that your brother dared him to say all of this to you and kiss you.

The rest of the guys walk out of the bar. “Let’s go love birds we are going to continue the birthday celebration at your place Myers.” Kevin said smacking him in the back of the head

“Ugh, I think I’m gonna be sick...my best friend and my twin sister...what did I ever do to anyone to deserve this.” Y/b/n said covering his face and shaking his head

“Just think about it this way my dude, if when I ever decide to propose and marry her, you will officially become my brother in law.” Phil said laughing while smacking his best friends' shoulder

The Uber pulled up in front of the bar and everyone climb in to the car, so they can all head back to Phil’s apartment. You and Phil climbed into the very back of the Uber in which he pulled you close next to him.

“This is one birthday that I will always remember and never ever forget.” He said wrapping his arm around you and smiling into your hair

You giggled softly and looked up at him with a stupid grin on your face. “Oh yeah, why is that? Is it, because you almost kicked some scumbag's ass in the bar tonight or...” You said laughing and burring your face into his shoulder

“No, it’s because I finally told my dream girl how much I am in love with her and how I never want to hide my feelings for her ever again.” Phil said leaning in and kissing you like how you imagine all the Disney princes kissed their beloved princesses.

[dlwritings]

Firecracker Soul | Dean Winchester

Chapter 5 - Movies and Masks

pairing - mob!Dean x teacher!ofc

word count - 5,236

warnings - language, thigh riding, Dean is so sweet your teeth will hurt

additional notes at the end

(previous)

On Saturday, Alice was excited to get breakfast with Christine. Even though she knew Christine would tease her endlessly about her date, she also knew she'd give her so much support. Christine was very vocal about how much she hated Greg, so she had been ready for Alice to jump back on the dating horse ever since she pulled back into Lawrence. She knew Christine would be over the moon that Dean was as amazing as he was.

Alice beat Christine to the cafe, but as soon as Christine walked in, she all but ran to the booth. She slid in and waved the waitress over. "Hey AJ," she said. "We'll have our usual." AJ laughed at Christine's assertiveness before nodding and leaving the pair. Christine put her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands. "Tell me all about him."

And she did.

Alice raved about the flowers, the dinner, and the drinks they had after. She decided not to spare any details, sharing how respectful Dean was when she didn't want to go any farther but also how badly she wanted to keep kissing him forever. "Wow," Christine breathed out, smiling dreamily. "He sounds perfect. What does he look like?"

"Mm," she hummed. "Tall, but not too tall. Muscular, but not too muscular. Sharp jaw. Gorgeous eyes. The perfect amount of stubble on his face."

"How old is he?" Christine asked.

Ah yes. The question she was dreading the most.

"He's a little older," she said, sipping her coffee.

"How much older is a little?" Christine asked. She was on the verge of smirking, able to see right through her friend. Alice didn't say anything, just kept her mouth on her coffee mug. "Alice," Christine pressed. "How old is this guy?"

Alice sighed. "41. I think."

"41!" Christine repeated. "Alice, you're 22."

"I know how old I am," she said. "It's not like he's a grandpa or anything." Christine laughed. "What?" Alice said. "I like him. He's nice, and he's hot! And he's mature, and he has a real, adult job, and, and he respects me." She shrugged. "Plus -I don't know- he takes care of me. We're not even together-together, but it's like I already know he'd protect me if I needed it. Not that I would, but-"

"Dude," Christine said before sipping her own coffee. She put her mug down, leaned back in her chair, and folded her arms across her chest. "You have a daddy kink."

"What?" Alice almost hissed, getting closer to Christine as if to tell her to quiet her voice. "I do not!"

"You so do," Christine laughed, sitting up in her chair again and putting her elbows on the table. "You love this age difference. You want him to take care of you, and-" She laughed again. "God! You're his little sub already. I'm so ready for this guy to pop your cherry."

"Why are we friends?" Alice asked, rolling her eyes and drinking her coffee again to hide her blush.

"You'll tell me all about it, right?" Christine asked. "Like how big he is? And how much of a dom he is? And-"

"I'm not gonna tell you about it because today is the last time I'm ever going to hang out with you."

"Shut up," Christine said with a grin. "You love me." Alice rolled her eyes and took a bite of her eggs. "And he was nice when you told him you were a virgin?"

She nodded. "Yeah. He felt bad for asking. Said it wasn't his business." The corners of Christine's mouth turned slightly as she nodded with a quick shrug.

"He's not wrong," she said.

"I don't even know why I said anything," Alice said. "It just came out. I was so flustered."

"Well, you've had a weird week," Christine said. "I'm surprised you're handling it all as well as you are."

Alice shrugged. "You know me. I've been through worse."

-

Dean walked into Sam's house with a smile on his face. Hannah had an event through work that evening, so they pushed family dinner to Sunday. Still, Dean thought he'd stop by and visit his brother. "Anybody home?" he asked.

"Living room!" Sam called. Dean walked through the house and plopped on the couch beside his brother.

"Where're Jess and Lex?" he asked.

"Shopping I think," Sam said. "Told me it's a girls' day. I'm not allowed to know." Dean laughed, and Sam looked away from the TV and at Dean with furrowed eyebrows. "What's got you so happy?" Before Dean could even answer, Sam's eyes grew wide in realization. "Your date with Alice," he said. "You're telling me that's got you like this?"

"It might be," Dean said with a shrug, trying to appear casual. Sam shoved Dean and turned his body to face him.

"I never thought you'd actually tap my daughter's teacher," he said with a laugh.

Dean shook his head. "I didn't hook up with her." Sam looked confused. "No, we went out for dinner and had some drinks back at her house."

"And you didn't sleep with her?" Sam asked.

Dean scoffed. "Is that all you think I do?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Sam said. "I thought you weren't one for the dating game."

"I went on the date for Lexi," Dean said sarcastically.

Sam rolled his eyes. "So you didn't even try to sleep with her?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that," Dean said, folding his arms across his chest. "I started to, you know-" Sam nodded and waved his hand so that Dean wouldn't explain any further. "She freaked out. Told me she's a virgin."

"A virgin?" Sam repeated. Dean nodded. "I thought you only liked experienced girls."

"God, shut up," Dean said with a roll of his eyes.

"You think you'll see her again?" Sam asked. Dean licked his lips with a small nod.

"I'd like to," he said. Sam was quiet for a moment. Dean could tell he was thinking something but holding back. "Spit it out," Dean said. Sam looked at his brother, then sighed.

"What's your endgame here?" Sam asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked.

"This can't just be one of your games," Sam said. "She's so young, man. She's got a whole life ahead of her. And whatever happens is gonna affect all of us. So what're you gonna do? Take her on a few dates? Show her what a good time is? Break her heart in the end?"

"Jesus Christ, Sam," Dean said. "You really think that little of me?" Sam shrugged. "Frankly, what I choose to do with her is none of your business," Dean said.

"Whatever man," Sam said, holding his hands up defensively. "Just thought I'd put the thought in your head."

It wasn't that Dean hadn't already been thinking all of that. He didn't know what his endgame was, but what people did? Did everyone go into meeting a person planning out their whole future? So he took her on a date. So he wanted to see her again. Maybe they wouldn't be forever, but what was wrong with living now? He didn't want to play a game of chase that just ended in him fucking her. Not anymore. Like he'd always said, if he wanted his dick sucked or a girl to fuck, he had numbers on speed dial. Hell, Amara, Jo, Bela, and Anna were practically on standby. He liked Alice. This was more than just adding a girl to his black book.

What that more was, he just wasn't sure yet.

The day wore on uneventfully. When the sun set, Dean was alone in his penthouse, sitting in bed and watching TV. He had this weird desire to text Alice, like his phone was burning a hole in his pocket. Was it too early to text her? He had only seen her yesterday. Should he step back?

He felt like a teenage boy. This was stupid.

Alice jumped when her phone buzzed on the bed beside her. She picked it up and held back a wide smile.

Dean: What are you up to?

She bit her lip and swiped to respond: Just in bed watching a movie

He texted back just as fast: What movie?

Her thumbs hovered over the screen. She could lie and say something cool, like an action flick or even a horror. Instead, she said, You're gonna laugh at me

Dean: Swear I won't

She smiled and decided to tell the truth: Tangled

Again, Dean was quick to respond: The Disney movie?

She pouted and wrote, You swore you wouldn't laugh

Dean: I'm not laughing!

Alice: It's a good movie

Dean: I'm glad you're enjoying yourself

This made her smile. I am, she wrote back. The only thing that could make it better is ice cream

Dean: Yeah? What's your favorite?

She laughed. Hmmm. That's a heavy question, Dean

Dean: Is it?

Alice: Yes. Yes it is. It varies from day to day. Right now I think it's Ben and Jerry's Cinnamon Buns. Sometimes it's Milk and Cookies

Dean: Hm. I've never had that

She furrowed her eyebrows. Those flavors or Ben and Jerry's? She grinned, then added, Or ice cream in general?

She could imagine Dean rolling his eyes. Ha ha, he sent back, sarcasm evident in the text. Ben and Jerry's

Her jaw almost dropped. What? That's crazy! It's the superior ice cream brand

Dean: Okay okay! I'll have to give it a try

She held down the text so she could react with a heart, then locked her phone and put it back down, resuming play on Tangled. After a few minutes went by, she got bored. She decided to grab a facemask from her bathroom and put it on and maybe do her nails. It had been a while since she had a nice, relaxing night. She picked one of her favorite clay masks and applied it, then picked a baby pink shade for her nails. When she pressed play on the movie again, Rapunzel was leaving her tower for the first time with Flynn. By the time they got to the Snuggly Duckling, her apartment's buzzer went off. She furrowed her eyebrows, paused her movie, and walked over to the intercom, trying not to touch anything with her wet nails. "Hello?" she said, pressing the speaker button.

"Hey, sweetheart. It's Dean. I come bearing gifts. Can I come up?"

Crap, she thought to herself as she remembered she still had her mask on. It hadn't dried yet, but there was no way she'd let Dean see her that way. She'd have to rinse the mask off before he got upstairs. "Yeah!" she said through the intercom. "Come on up!"

She buzzed him in and ran as quickly as she could to the bathroom. The mask was mint green, and she was bummed that she didn't get to have it long enough to do its job refreshing her skin. But there was no time to dwell. She washed the mask off -messing up her nails in the process- and patted her skin dry just as she heard the knock at her door. She ran over and whipped the door open. "Hi!" she said with a smile.

"Hey," Dean said. "I brought you something." She cocked her head to the side, and he lifted the grocery bag he was carrying. She was able to see through the plastic, and she smiled widely.

"Ice cream?" she said. He nodded, and she let him inside and closed the door behind him. He went into the kitchen and pulled out one pint of Cinnamon Buns and one pint of Milk and Cookies. "You didn't have to do that," she said, though she was so glad he did.

"I know," Dean said, placing a kiss on her forehead. When he pulled away, she noticed his eyebrows had furrowed.

"What?" she said. A smirk grew on Dean's face as he reached up and wiped his thumb on her forehead. He showed her his thumb which had a little smudge of green on it. "Crap," she muttered, putting her hand on her forehead.

Served her right for acting too hastily.

Dean laughed and put the ice cream in the fridge, then followed her into the bathroom where she went to wipe her face off again.

"What is it?" Dean asked her, leaning up against the doorframe as he watched her.

"I was doing a facemask," she said with a slight pout.

"Well why didn't you leave it on?" he asked.

"I looked weird!" she said. "My face was green like a martian."

"Your facemasks are green?" he asked.

"One of my facemasks is green," she said. "I have black ones and orange ones and clear ones and purple ones." Dean raised his eyebrows, and she just laughed and opened one of the drawers so she could lay out all of her facemasks. Dean whistled lowly before chuckling.

"What's the point of all these?" he asked.

"They do different things," she said. "Some of them are supposed to help your blackheads, and some are supposed to refresh you or make you feel cleaner. I think they're just fun." She looked up at him and bit her lower lip.

"What's that look for?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest.

"You could do a facemask with me," she said, putting her hands behind her back.

Dean laughed. "Yeah. No way."

"Please?" she whined. "I think you'll like it. It'll make you feel so relaxed."

No. He would stand his ground. He wasn't going to let her-

"Please?" she said again. And then she had the audacity to flutter her eyelashes, and Dean jutted his jaw out and sighed.

"You're lucky you're cute," he said. Her smile broke across her face and she stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

And no. He did not blush.

"Alright," he said, clearing his throat. "Which one are you giving me?"

She picked out a clear sheet mask for him and decided to grab one for herself too since she wasn't able to let the clay one do its job. She opened the package and pursed her lips at Dean. "You're too tall," she said. "I can't put it on you when you're, like, half a foot taller than me." Dean grinned then licked his lips and moved to his knees in front of her. He was eye level with her stomach, and she couldn't help the way she shivered.

"Is this alright, sweetheart?" Dean asked, lightly squeezing her hips. She giggled nervously and jumped out of his touch.

"Mhm," she hummed. "That's better."

She forced herself to focus as she unfolded the mask and laid it on his face, making sure the eye holes and mouth hole were where they needed to be. She tried not to burst out laughing. She was sure the last thing this tough, rugged, 40-year-old man ever expected he would be doing on his knees in front of a girl was applying a face mask. "Are you laughing at me?" he asked, attempting a serious expression under the mask. She bit her lip and shook her head no. Dean stood up from the ground and took a step towards her. Her back immediately hit the wall. "Nowhere to run," he said. She licked her lips and put her hand on his chest.

"Well," she said, "you can't kiss me with the mask on. And that stays on for twenty minutes." Dean scoffed, and she gently pushed him away so she could sneak past him and put her own facemask on. Dean stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. They were standing in front of the mirror, and she couldn't help but grab her phone from the waistband of her sleep shorts. She opened up Snapchat and put one hand under her chin, snapping a picture of her and Dean. He laughed as she put a filter over it that said my face at 9:56 PM. She saved the picture and posted it to her story before she and Dean moved away from the mirror and went to sit on her bed in front of the TV.

"I'll grab the ice cream," Dean said.

"Spoons are in the drawer to the left of the sink," she told him. Dean came back with the two ice cream pints and spoons, handing her one of each. She looked and saw that he handed her Cinnamon Buns. She opened it at the same time that Dean opened his. She put the ice cream on the side table and got her phone out again.

"What're you doing?" Dean asked as he started to dig his spoon into the ice cream.

"I have to film this," she said. "This is a historic moment."

"It's ice cream."

"It's Ben and Jerry's!" she said back. "It's scientifically better than any other ice cream."

"Oh really?" Dean said patronizingly, cocking his head to the side.

"Yes," she said with a firm nod. "Ben-" Dean raised his eyebrows. "-co-creator of Ben and Jerry's," she clarified, "can't smell. And smell affects taste, so they put bigger chunks in it so he can at least feel their texture since he can't taste them."

Dean laughed. "Why do you know that?"

"Jeff Goldblum has a show on Disney+ and he talked about it on an episode," she said. Dean raised his eyebrows again and she rolled her eyes. "I like Jeff Goldblum and I like ice cream. Sue me. Now let me record your first bite."

"You know," Dean said, "as good as this might be, it's got nothing on, like, authentic gelato. You know that right?"

"Shut up and eat your ice cream."

Dean took his first bite of Milk and Cookies while she pointed her camera at him. He struggled to make sure his mask didn't slide off as he shoveled his spoon in his mouth. She looked at him expectantly, and Dean shrugged. "I've had better." Alice gasped and gave Dean a shove, still holding record on her phone. Dean laughed and pulled her onto his lap, and her finger slipped off the screen, promptly stopping the video. Her phone fell to the side as she straddled Dean's waist and played with the hairs at the nape of his neck. She wanted to kiss him, but she was not going to allow him to take the mask off. It would go against everything she had told him earlier. So, she adjusted herself on his lap and turned so she was facing the TV.

Dean held back a groan as she wiggled on his lap. He held her hips and watched as she picked up her phone, saved the video, and posted it to her story. She grabbed the ice cream she abandoned and took some of it with her spoon. They switched between ice cream flavors, sometimes feeding a spoonful to each other. After a while, they weren't hungry anymore, so Dean moved her off his lap and went to the kitchen to put the ice cream away before it started to melt.

It was time to take their masks off, so they went to the bathroom and took them off, throwing them in the trash. She rinsed her face off, patted it dry with a towel, and looked in the mirror to see Dean staring at her. "Why're you looking at me like that?" she asked, adjusting her shirt a bit.

"Sorry," Dean said, forcing his eyes to focus on hers again. "Just looking at your pajamas. They're different than the ones you wore when I was last here."

She chuckled. "Well yeah," she said. "I have lots of pajamas. Don't you?" Dean smirked and ruffled his hand through his hair.

"Well, I usually sleep in my boxers," he said. "So I guess I have a lot of pajamas, too." He could tell his words made her flustered by the way she blushed and looked away.

"Pajama sets are like a weakness for me," she admitted, quickly shifting the subject. "I buy them way too much."

Dean hummed in understanding, pulled his own mask off and rinsed his face, then dried it off before looking at her with a smile. "How do I look?" he asked.

"Refreshed," she teased. "You're glowing."

Dean's smile widened, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him. "So," he asked, his lips so close they were tickling hers, "do I get that kiss now?" She giggled and put her hands on his cheeks.

"Mm, that is what I said, isn't it?" she said. Dean scoffed and leaned down to press his lips to hers. She kissed him back, letting her thumbs brush across his smooth skin. Dean surprised her by lifting her up and sitting her on the bathroom counter. She hooked her ankles around his waist and slid her hands to the back of his head, holding him closer to her. His hands moved under the back of her shirt, resting his palms on the small of her back. His hands were rough, covered in calluses he must've accumulated over the years. She wondered how. Office work didn't usually result in beaten hands.

And why was she thinking about this right now?

When they parted, she let her forehead rest against his. He chuckled and pecked her lips once more before stepping back so she could jump off the counter. "Alright," he said, "I gotta know how that movie ends."

They ended up back in bed, Dean's arm wrapped around her, holding her close to him. She had her head rested on his collarbone, and he kept trailing his fingers up and down her arm. She absolutely hated how badly she wanted to kiss him. She could hardly control the urge she had to hop on his lap and suck his face like her life depended on it. She hadn't even realized she had been wiggling so much until Dean squeezed her hip. "Why're you so squirmy?" he teased. She looked up at him as he ran his tongue across his lower lip.

She took a deep breath and sat up, straddling his waist. His hands immediately landed on her hips, and the playful glint in his eyes had vanished. She kept her hands braced on his shoulders as she leaned forward and kissed him. She slid her tongue past his lips, and he moaned and moved one hand to the back of her head. She didn't notice the way her hips had begun grinding against his, but she did notice the moan that escaped Dean's lips. He pulled away from her and started kissing down her neck.

His hand that was resting on her waist slid up slowly, palming her breast over her shirt. She let out a shaky breath and rolled her hips against his again. "Sweetheart," Dean said, fighting back another moan. "Ah fuck, you're killing me."

"Sorry," she whispered, stilling her hips and resting her forehead on his shoulder. "I just, I wasn't thinking." She let out a surprised gasp that quickly turned into a moan when Dean pinched her nipple through her shirt. He knew what was going on. Exactly what was going on, and he was sure she knew it too. She was just too embarrassed to say it.

Dean started kissing her neck again. "It's okay," he muttered. He grabbed one of her thighs and moved it to rest in between his legs so she was straddling his thigh instead of his hips. She wasn't meeting his eyes, so he lifted her chin to make her look at him. Instead of saying anything, he pressed his lips to hers. He bit her lower lip, drawing out a soft whimper. He started kissing her neck and tugged at the hem of her shirt. "Can I take this off?" he whispered. Dean noticed her grip on his shoulders tightened. He moved his face from her neck so he could look at her again. "You remember what I said yesterday?" he asked. "I don't want you to be nervous around me, and I never want to make you uncomfortable. You can say no. You can always say no to me."

Alice swallowed nervously, and Dean stroked her cheek. His lips curved up in a small smile. "I can just see you're a little-" He hesitated with a chuckle. "-frustrated." The apples of her cheeks turned pink, and she hung her head again. He lifted her chin. "You can say no," he said. She took a deep breath in through her nose and out through her lips.

"Can you take yours off first?" she asked. She didn't want to be the only one without some clothes on, and even though she knew showing him her breasts was a lot different than him showing off his pecs, she didn't want to be alone. Luckily, Dean was sweet. He smiled and placed a chaste kiss to her lips.

"Course," he said. She pulled back from him so that he could grab the collar of his shirt and pull it over his head. He tossed it to the side and ruffled a hand through his hair. She put her hands on his chest and ran her fingers over a tattoo that was on his left pec. It was a star in a circle with some sort of black waves around the circumference.

"I like this," she whispered.

Dean chuckled. "Thanks. It's kind of a, uh, family crest." She nodded and still didn't meet his eyes.

Okay, she thought to herself. It's not a big deal.

She grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, immediately looking down rather than meeting his eyes. "Hey," Dean whispered, "look at me." She did. He pinched her chin and smiled. "You're so beautiful, sweetheart."

She never did this sort of thing. She was with Greg for almost two years, and it took her almost a year to feel comfortable without her shirt on in front of him, and that was as far as they ever got. She had known Dean for a week, and she was already submitting to what he said, melting under his words and soft touch.

She was already in deep.

Dean kissed her, cradling her head in his hand, before trailing his lips down her neck. She felt him suck and leave a mark on her skin before kissing it and moving down to her breasts. He noticed a scar on her upper left side. "What's this?" he muttered, letting his thumb brush across the mark. She flinched, and he stopped kissing her chest to look up at her.

"'S nothing," she said, shaking her head. "I'll tell you another time."

He nodded, respecting her boundaries, and moved his left hand to knead her breast, pinching her nipple as she let out a shaky breath. He kept doing that while bringing his lips down to her right nipple. The feeling made a shiver run up her back, and she instinctively put her hand on the back of his head. She could feel him smile as he flicked her nipple with his tongue, sucking it between his lips until it was hard. He switched actions then, putting his mouth on her left nipple and keeping his hand on her right.

Soon enough, she was grinding down on his thigh. Her movements were nervous and hesitant. Dean pulled his lips away from her chest and put his hands on her hips to start guiding her movements. He made sure she moved slowly but firmly, dragging her clit up and down his thigh. She could feel whimpers in her throat, and she was embarrassed by how much she liked what was happening. She rested her forehead on Dean's shoulder and continued moving her hips with his hands. "You look so pretty like this," Dean muttered, kissing her shoulder softly. "Does it feel good, sweetheart?"

"Mhm," she hummed. "Feels, feels so good." Her fingers that were gripping his shoulders started digging their nails into his skin as she let out a soft cry. She could feel something building inside her. She may never have orgasmed before, but she wasn't so naive that she didn't know what was happening.

"Dean," she breathed out. She buried her face in his neck, and her eyes were squeezed shut.

"That's it, baby," he said. "Cum on my thigh." Her breath caught in her throat as the coil inside her snapped. She whimpered his name, and her nails dug stripes across his shoulder. Dean praised her softly in her ear, and he helped her slow the movement of her hips to a stop.

She was breathing heavily, her body collapsed against him. Dean wrapped his arms around her and ran his fingers up and down her spine. "Good girl," he cooed. He kissed her cheek, and she let out a breathy laugh.

"Wow," she whispered. "I can honestly say I didn't expect this when you brought ice cream to my door."

He laughed. "Neither did I." He kept tracing her spine. "Was that okay?"

"Yeah," she said, her voice coming out barely more than a mere breath. She laughed lightly. "I think I'm gonna put on some other pajamas." He chuckled and kissed her cheek again.

"Not a bad idea," he said.

Alice got out of bed and walked over to her drawers to get out a new pair of pajamas. She excused herself to the bathroom, and as soon as the door was closed, Dean let out a heavy breath. His cock was throbbing in his shorts, and all he wanted was to take care of it. Instead, he forced himself to think of anything to get his mind off of it.

By the time she came back out of the bathroom, he had gotten his erection under control. He smiled at Alice. The look on her face was a mixture of post-orgasmic bliss and pure innocence. He had never seen a look like that on anyone's face before, and it was so cute on her. She walked over to the bed, seeming somewhat nervous. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to," she said, playing with the hem of her shirt. "But, you can if you do want to."

Part of her felt pathetic for saying it. How needy was that? Sure, a small part of her wanted him to stay. Okay, maybe a big part of her, but that was so clingy. She quickly shook her head. "Nevermind," she said. "You don't, I mean, like, you can stay, but I totally get that you probably don't-"

"Alice," Dean said with a chuckle. "Do you want me to stay?" She shrugged, her teeth worrying into her upper lip like they so often did. Dean shook his head with a grin and patted the bed next to him as he got under the covers. "You're on breakfast duty tomorrow," he said.

She tried not to show how eager she was as she skipped over to bed and got in beside him. She immediately cuddled up to his chest as he put his arm around her. He kissed the top of her head, and she hummed contently. "Goodnight, Dean," she whispered.

He smiled. "Goodnight."

He may not've known what his endgame was, but one thing was for sure.

He was already in deep.

----- ----- ----- -----

A/N - I never thought I’d find a video of Jensen doing a face mask but here we are

(next)

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CW: angst, meeting the family, references to the n-word, people sucking

I decided to go ahead and finish it when I got a sudden burst of creativity when I came home.

*

Nina snuggled in bed, a happy little sigh leaving her lips. Sidney looked at her, a fond smile on his face. It had been a month since they were back together and life was almost perfect. Well, they were 6-3-2, 14 points earned which was okay but not where Sidney wanted the team to be. It was still early in the season, it was mid-November so there was plenty of time to right the ship. He and the boys would fix it. Sidney sighed before attempting to try to go back to sleep. However, he heard the sound of a door opening and he sat up, pushing the covers down inadvertently. 

Sidney racked his brain. It was Sunday, Marta, his housekeeper’s day off. Mario or Nathalie would have called before coming over. He had no idea who the hell it could be. “Fuck,” Sidney breathed. There were only two people who would do a surprise visit and one of them was a week earlier for the Moms trip. 

Lightly brushing his fingers over Nina’s side, Sidney urged, “Pretty girl, wake up.”

It was roughly 8am so it wasn’t hard to get Nina, an early riser by nature to wake up. “Urgh, mawning,” Nina mumbled as she cracked open her eyes. Sidney looked anxious and agitated which made Nina focus. 

Sidney opened his mouth, then closed it. If he was right, he was fucked and his pretty girl was probably going to run away screaming. He finally said, “Um, someone just opened the door and there are exactly five people other than me who have a key. There are two who’d do a surprise visit.”

Looking down, Nina was thankful that she had on one of Sidney’s shirts and shorts while sleeping. “Well, fuck, at least I’m not naked,” she said pointedly. Sidney had the grace to blush as Nina continued, “If it’s what you think it is, you need to get that under control,” pointing at his rather obvious morning wood. Sidney pulled the covers back over himself and Nina

Then a voice called out, “Morming, Sid!”

Sidney sighed in relief. It was Taylor, not his mom. Nina noticed it and arched an eyebrow. “Eh, it’s my sister, pretty girl.”

“Shit,” Nina fretted. This was going to be awkward, she didn’t even know if she wanted to meet his family but now, she was going to,have to. At least it was a sister.

The door creaked open and a blonde-haired head peeked in. “Boo,” Taylor said. Then her eyes perked when she saw who Sidney was with. 

Nina groaned. Her hair was in a scarf, it was obvious she slept over and fuck, fuck, fuck. A devious smile spread on Taylor’s face. “Nice to see that you finally let a girlfriend sleep in your room, Sidney.”

“Shut the fuck up, Taylor,” Sidney yelled as his little sister giggled before closing the door.

Nina facepalmed. “That was fun. Fun fun fun.”

Rolling onto her front, Nina mumbled, “I’m not ready to meet your family.”

“I’ve already met yours,” Sidney reasoned. 

“That was because Yanni was part of your Lil Penguins program. That was work related for you, doesn’t count.”

Trailing his fingers down Nina’s back, Sidney replied, “True but, it still counts. What are you doing next weekend?”

“I’m going to be in Philly for a wedding.”

Nina turned onto her left side, facing Sidney. Sidney sucked his bottom lip into his mouth before letting it go. “Don’t get any ideas.”

She slipped off the bed, pulling the scarf off her braids, letting them fall down her back. Rummaging through her clothes on the floor, Nina pulled out her bra. Pulling her shirt off, she put it on to the sound of Sidney’s groans. Nina rolled her eyes. “I’m stuck having to meet your sister because she decided to give you a surprise visit. I’m not meeting her without wearing a bra.”

“But you look so amazing without one,” Sidney replied. 

 Nina shook her head before leaving his bedroom. Making her way to the kitchen, Nina literally bumped into Taylor. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Nina gasped. 

“I’m okay,” Taylor reassured Nina, taking the moment to check out this girl that Sidney was now seeing. She wasn’t exactly what Taylor was expecting but one thing that Taylor liked about Nina was that she had kind eyes. Taylor had heard about her over the years, especially that Nina had kept rejecting Sidney. Her brother rarely heard the word no so that made Nina intriguing to her. 

Taylor offered, “Have you had breakfast yet?”

“No, and I’m hungry.”

Opening the fridge, Taylor took out the ingredients to make omelets. Nina sat at the island, a pensive look on her face. “You know, I totally didn’t expect to meet you this way. This is awkward as fuck.”

“Eh, don’t feel bad, I should have given Sid a heads up,” Taylor replied. “Plus, I’ve heard about you over the years.”

“Oh really?”

Taylor laughed as she cracked eggs. “Sidney couldn’t shut up about you. First it was he met this nice girl at work. Then, it was that you kept telling him no and he was confused. Later, he was beating himself up because he managed to fuck up before he could even ask you out. I really enjoyed that, I liked that you kept not only telling him no but when he pissed you off, you didn’t forgive him right away. I love my brother but his ego needs to get cut down sometimes.”

“True, he has a huge ego. He needs to take himself less seriously,” Nina concurred. “But it’s probably impossible to get him to do that.”

Taylor shrugged, pursing her lips. “At least he means well,” Nina added. 

Nodding, Taylor replied, “He does mean well, most of the time.”

“Already ganging up on me?”

They both laughed as Sidney entered the kitchen. “Why are you here, Taylor?”

“I went on a camping trip and I decided to be nosy and visit my big brother before heading home,” Taylor chirped. “The look on your face was worth it.”

“Hahaha. Should’ve called,” Sidney grumbled. 

Taylor quipped, “Oh, did I ruin your morning sex plans? I’m so sorry.”

Nina snorted as she laughed. Sidney gave her hurt eyes and Nina blew him a kiss. 

“Don’t worry Sid, I’m not staying long. Just enough to rest and then get back on the road,” Taylor said. 

“You drove,” Nina asked. Sidney was now standing right behind her and she could feel his hands massaging her shoulders. 

Taylor nodded as she flipped the first omelet. “You’re not what I expected, Nina. You’re way too pretty for a hockey player like my brother.”

Sidney wanted to kill his little sister as she continued to chirp him. Well, not only chirp him but ruin his planned lazy morning sex. But as he watched his sister and Nina interact playfully, Sidney could admit there was a slight good point. Taylor and Nina were hitting it off and Sidney knew that Nina would meet his family soon. This was a good sign. 

**

However, after practice four days later, Sidney was wishing his sister had never stopped by. Nina had been incredibly busy all week and Sidney knew he wouldn’t see her until next week due to her trip out of town. He was feeling extra irritable and hearing his name over the tv didn’t help. 

“So, two weeks ago, Sidney Crosby admitted that he was having relationship issues that were affecting him on the ice.”

Tanger went to change the channel on the tv in the lounge, muttering, “Fucking ESPN.”

“Shh, keep it on,” Sidney urged, crossing his arms over his chest. He wanted to see what kind of bullshit ESPN was saying now.

A couple of the guys stopped to check out the TV. Kevin Neghandi laughed as he responded, “Yeah, he admitted that after breaking a slump. Ever since, he’s been on a 2 point-per-game streak. But this really isn’t about him.”

“Huh,” said Geno, scratching his head.

Buccigross continued, “There was a picture of Crosby and his girlfriend posted on the internet, a nice picture. Someone posted it and made a derogatory statement about his girlfriend, Nina Jackson. This player is a player for Clemson.”

Neghandi laughed again. “Ms. Jackson has a younger brother named Jason Jackson. He was also the number 20 prospect, number 1, 5 star tight end. He also now plays for UNC.”

Sidney chuckled as he realized exactly where this was going. The guy on the tv continued, “Clemson and UNC had the rare Thursday night game last night. #1 Clemson went to the Tar Heels, ranked #22 and got spanked, 56-30. Jason Jackson had 10 catches, 200 yards receiving, and 3 TDs. His response in the postgame.”

The tv showed a clip of Jason talking to the media. A reporter asked, “What inspired you to have such a big game tonight.”

“Lowell decided he needed to talk about my sister on the gram so I had to put him in his place,” Jason drawled.

Sidney’s phone buzzed and it was a message from Nina. my brother is so dramatic 🙄

Nice to know he’ll always have your back, Sidney sent Nina. 

**

Nina smiled happily as she looked at the Thai food on plate. She was so hungry and excited to see Jamila face to face in person for lunch. Her friend looked more vibrant than usual, as life was treating her good. They made small talk until Jamila said, “I heard something about you, that you aren’t single for the first time in forever.”

“Oh really?”

Jamila looked at her best friend. “You’re dating Mayo boy.”

“What?!?” Perplexed, Nina stared at Jamila while Jamila rolled her eyes. 

“Sidney Crosby is like Mayo. Super white. Damn, my dating habits really did rub off on you. Welcome to being a basic bitch like me.”

It was Nina’s turn to roll her eyes. “Stop being so fucking dramatic, Jamila Brown.”

“I was an actress, I’m supposed to be dramatic. Tell Mayo boy if he ever breaks your heart, I’ll kill and cremate whatever’s left of him after your father and brother are finished with him.”

“Are you really gonna nickname him that?”

Jamila smirked at Nina and Nina sighed. Shrugging elegantly, Jamila replied, “I’m a part of Philly sports Twitter. I got lots of other names I could call him.

“Be a bigger bitch, Mila.”

“He gets a better nickname when he lets you fully run his pockets. And don’t give me that look, don’t be afraid of being called a gold digger. They are probably calling you worse names. Make Mayo boy run that card up when he takes you on baecation. Once that happens, I’ll upgrade his nickname.”

Nina sighed as she looked at the menu. Jamila reached out and put her hand out, covering Nina’s menu. “You know I’m just playing, right?”

“I don’t want to talk about it now, let’s talk about Toyin’s wedding instead,” Nina murmured. 

It was Jamila’s turn to sigh. “I’m sorry, Nina. I’m sorry for being a bitch. I shouldn’t be taking out my bad mood on you. I hate men.”

“Not forgiven yet,” Nina snarked. 

Jamila looked pensive as she said, “I like this guy but I don’t want to admit I like him. He’s like too perfect, too nice, well not that nice. He actually gives a fuck.”

“Let me guess, you’re scared and about to do something super stupid,” Nina dryly replied.

Jamila gave Nina a shocked look before she slumped in her chair. “I don’t want to,” she pouted. 

Nina reasoned, “Then don’t. Just ride it out for once.”

“Easy for you to say,” Jamila replied. 

Nina shrugged as her phone buzzed. It was a message from Sid, well really just a picture of him sweaty post-practice. Nina left him on read, she would get him back later for that. “Stop being stupid, and stop self-sabotaging.”

Jamila rolled her eyes as she ate her food. After swallowing, she arched an eyebrow. “Mayo boy sent you a message?”

“Yeah, but I’m focusing on you. I’ll see him next week… and his parents.”

“This is going fast,” Jamila commented. 

Nina bit her lip before saying, “I guess he had to wait eighty-four years, I mean five years, so he’s going to take advantage while they are in town.”

“Interesting.”

Nina pointed out, “At least I’m giving my relationships a chance, unlike you.”

“Fuck you.” 

Jamila gave Nina an exaggerated nasty look as Nina quipped, “I’m strictly dickly, bitch.”

The conversation switched to safer topics. However, throughout the wedding weekend, Nina had the thought in the back of her mind that maybe things were going a bit too fast. 

**

“Well, Taylor says she likes her. I checked out her instagram account and she doesn’t even mention you. Lots of nice vacation pictures though.”

Sidney looked at his mom from across the table. Trina had a pensive look on her face. Troy raised his eyebrows before leaning back in his chair. 

Sidney reasoned, “I want you two to meet her. Give her a chance. Nina is amazing, I’m lucky that she even likes me.”

“Why wouldn’t she like you, you’re Sidney Crosby,” Trina scoffed. 

Sidney shrugged. “Nina’s a PhD student and everything. It hasn’t been easy for her either.”

“Interesting,” Trina said. 

Nina herself was feeling extra nervous. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to meet Sidney’s parents, especially after having to turn in a huge paper and part of her thesis to her advisor. But, as she shook her head and smoothed down her shirt, they were in town and she was going to try to make her best impression.

Midway through dinner, Nina began to wish she was somewhere else on this Friday night. While Troy, Sidney’s dad, seemed nice, it felt like Trina was judging every single thing she did. Every reply Trina made to Nina’s questions was in a dry voice, as if it was boring her. Nina felt a bit discouraged. Sidney obviously loved his parents but it felt like his mother didn’t like her. 

On the other hand, Trina felt like Nina was looking down on them. It seemed like she was mentioning her PhD program, her thesis, like she was too smart for them and her boy. Trina sipped her water as there was a pause. She didn’t know about this girl but at least, every time she looked at Sidney, Trina could see the stars and hearts in her eyes.

Nina looked at Sidney, her palms sweating. She didn’t know what to say as she looked down at her plate. Her appetite was gone. Sidney, himself, didn’t really notice anything as he answered his father’s questions about the beginning of the season. Then Troy turned to Nina. 

“So what do you plan to do now that you’re with Sidney,” Troy casually asked.

Nina replied, “I have about two more years left before I finish earning my PhD. I plan to continue to work and I may teach a class or two.”

“You still plan to work,” Trina asked.

Nina nodded. “Yes. I love what I do and I’m not wasting my degrees.”

“Why do you want to work?”

Nina could tell that Trina intended that question to be light but Nina could still feel the claws. She was tired of this passive-aggressive bullshit and ready to curse her out. But Nina couldn’t so she measured her words carefully. “I did four years of undergrad, three years of school for my doctors in physical therapy, and I will do four more years for my doctorate. Why would I stop working after earning my degrees?”

Trina paused; she had expected some trite, suck-up answer. But it seemed like Nina was serious. “I would think that if you were with my son, you’d rather not work.”

“I’m not built to be a housewife.” Nina laughed. “I love what I do and if I’m expected to stop for Sidney, then maybe I need to reevaluate some things.”

Trina felt like she lost control of this conversation. All she wanted was to see what kind of user her boy’s dream girl was. Now, she had the feeling that her son was going to get dumped and it was going to be her fault.

Sidney laughed. “I don’t expect you to be a housewife. You would be so bored if you were.”

Nina flashed Sidney a quick grin before adding, “Nathalie has let me know the responsibilities though. I’ve done lots of volunteer and charity work over the years so that isn’t new at all. I’m excited about the toy drive, I remember when my parents just got out of the army and cash was tight. I got my favorite doll as a kid from a toy drive.”

“That’s nice,” Trina said. Maybe this Nina girl wasn’t completely stuck up, she thought as the night continued. After a couple of hours, Nina said her goodbyes. It was getting late and she was spending the morning taking her little sister to volleyball practice. After she left, Trina let out a sigh as Sidney turned to her.

“You have to lay off on Nina, Mom.”

Trina turned to look at her son. Sidney was giving her his most serious look and she sighed. 

“I like her but I don’t know if she’s the one for you, Sid. It seems like she’s one step from leaving you,” Trina said. “I don’t see her sticking with you if things go bad.”

“Just because she plans to work?” 

Sidney gave his mother an assessing look. He knew she meant well but this wasn’t for her to decide. “This isn’t your problem.”

“Fine, I like that she has her own life. She’s not obsessed with you and she plans to be her own person,” Trina conceded. “But she’s different.”

He knew this was going to be hard, asking his mom to back off but Sidney knew he had to do it. Nina hadn’t said anything last night but Sidney could sense that she was tired of how his mother was acting. Sidney also knew that if Nina decided to cut ties, it would be completely over. Sidney started, “Compared to Nina, I’m a dumb hockey player. But what I have with her, I’ve never found with anyone else. If you have a problem with that, that’s you. But be civil to Nina.”

“Really, Sidney Patrick Crosby,” Trina said, incredulous. But the look on her son’s face was something she had never seen before. Even though she didn’t believe her son would really pick any woman over her, a voice at the back of her mind told her that if Sidney ever did, this would be the woman he’d pick over her.

**

It was Saturday night and Nina pasted another smile on her face. If Trina got snide again, Nina didn’t know if she could be nice about it. But at least they were in public. As they sat down for dinner, a couple of guys came up. Sidney and his family had perfect PR smiles but the guys stopped in front of Nina.

“Hey, aren’t you Jason Jackson’s sister?”

Nina grinned. “Yes.”

“Why did he have to have such a great game against Pitt today? He killed them,” one of the guys said.

Nina shrugged. “Pitt should play better defense.”

After the guys left, Troy asked, “your brother plays college football?”

“Yup. He was the top prospect in Pennsylvania last season. Games on tv and everything.”

“I didn’t know that,” Sidney murmured.

Nina giggled as she replied, “All you do is eat, sleep, and breathe hockey.”

Sidney blushed as everyone laughed at that statement. However, through the night, more people came by the table to give Nina props for her brother’s monster game than to try to get a glimpse of Sidney. Jason had 184 yards receiving and 2 TDs for UNC today and there was already buzz about Jason being on the fast track to the NFL. During a lull, Trina stated, “You must get asked about your brother a lot.”

“I’m used to it. Once ESPN comes to your brother’s games when he was a sophomore in high school, you have to get used to it,” Nina said with a shrug. “I’m old enough that it really doesn’t bother me.”

“How does your brother deal with it,” Sidney asked, curious as he remembered some of his early experiences with fame. 

Nina replied, “College football is a different beast than the pros. So, he’s on scholarship and his days are pretty much regimented with meetings, practice, classes, more meetings, video study. I ran track when I was in undergrad so my experience was slightly similar. Main difference is that Jase gets paid for his likeness in video games now and a percentage of any jersey sales with his name and number.”

“You ran track,” Troy asked. Unlike his wife, he felt a bit more open towards Nina. It was obvious that she didn’t need Sidney for anything and Troy could see that his son was able to relax in a way with Nina that he hadn’t been able to relax with a woman before. 

“I had a partial scholarship. I ran the 4x100 relay and the 100 meters. I didn’t have the athletic ability to race for a living but I did decent,” Nina stated, feeling a bit shy. It had been a long time since she even talked about her track career. “I was state champ my senior year and my team won silver at the Penn Relays my sophomore and junior years of college. Now, I just run to stay in shape.”

“Wow,” Sidney said, impressed. “Sounds like you loved it though.”

Nina flashed Sidney a grin. “I did, I love running. What most people forget is that you can’t just run for health, you have to run and do strength training and yoga or Pilates.” 

“Have you been to any of your brother’s games,” Troy asked. “Seems like they are doing well.”

Nina replied, “We went to the season opener. I will never go to North Carolina in August ever again if I can help it. I’m going to their game next weekend at Virginia Tech. We’ll probably go to the bowl game since my little sister will be off school that week.”

“Seems like you stay busy,” Trina mused. 

Nina couldn’t help a little glare as she managed to say without malice, “I plan my calendar in advance.”

Trina said, “That sounds good. You have a life outside of everything.”

“And I will continue to have a life outside of everything,” Nina said with a syrup-sweet smile.

**

Nina quietly washed her hands, glancing up to the mirror. Trina was looking down on her hands as she washed hers. Tentatively, Nina asked, “Are you having a good time on this trip?”

“I enjoyed the Moms’ trip,” Trina replied. 

Nina looked down at her hands as she dried them. This was so awkward and she wanted to cry. 

“Sidney Crosby is here, and so are his parents,” somebody exclaimed just outside the ladies bathroom. Trina and Nina both shared a look until another person said, “And his n-word girlfriend is here with them too.”

Nina opened her mouth but Trina put up a finger. The second person continued, “His mom doesn't look too happy with that black girl. Maybe you could get a chance, finally.”

The door opener and the two women came in, laughing. The laughter stopped when those women saw Nina and Trina. 

“You don’t have to worry about getting a chance with my son because there’s no way I’d let him be with someone like you when he’s with a lady like Nina,” Trina stated. 

The two women shared a look but Trina stared them down until they left. Nina let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “No wonder my son is always saying that it hasn’t been easy for you,” Trina offered. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure they get kicked out.”

Nina sniffled as she said, “That’s the first time I’ve heard it in person. It’s usually nasty messages online. I really, really hate it. But I guess I’m going to be stuck with this for the rest of my life.”

Impulsively, Trina reached out and grabbed Nina’s hand. “From the way that my son looks at you, nasty women like those will just have to be angry forever.”

Nina giggled as they shared a look. It felt like there was a truce and she was going to take it. After Trina talked to the manager and got those women booted, Nina definitely felt like there was definitely a truce.

**

“Don’t take anything seriously. If they don’t like you, they’ll say absolutely nothing to you. If they make jokes, they like you.”

Two weeks after meeting Sid’s family, it was his turn to meet Nina’s family. The team was home for American Thanksgiving and they didn’t have a game until Friday evening this year. So Sidney was going with Nina to meet her extended family. He was feeling extra nervous and desperate to make a good impression. 

Sidney grimaced as Nina giggled. “Plus, it’s Aryanna’s birthday so they won’t be too mean. I think.”

“Anything else I need to worry about,” Sidney asked. 

Nina reached out over the console and touched Sidney’s hand. “Relax, it’s not a game. You can’t lose.”

“But, I want them-”

Cutting Sidney off, Nina said, “I know, you want them to like you. So be the dork that you are instead of faking like you aren’t a dork.”

Sidney felt a bit insulted but Nina gave him a dazzling smile. “I like it when you’re being dorky, anyway.”

**

Sidney tried hard to follow Nina’s advice. There were so many people that he couldn’t keep them all straight so he focused on making sure he remembered the names of the older people in Nina’s family. There was Mawmaw, the family matriarch, Tracey and Vernon, Nina’s parents, Aunt Tasha who baked the sweet potato pie that he was having his third slice of, Aunt Dee, Uncle Tony, and Uncle Bashir. All of the cousins kinda blurred together but Sidney figured he’d learn their names quickly. 

Overall, he felt like everything was going well. Sidney answered everyone’s questions and he guessed his answers were good since one of Nina’s older cousins told him his new nickname was White Boy. Nina had snickered while some of the younger ones giggled. Right now, Sidney was talking to Aunt Tasha. “What would it take to get you to bake me a pie of my own,” Sidney asked. 

Tasha laughed while Tracey smirked. Tracey interjected, “Oh no, Tasha gonna be bragging about this forever. ‘Guess who came to Thanksgiving and loved my sweet potato pie? Sidney Crosby loved my sweet potato pie.’ She will never shut up!”

“Don’t be mad that you can’t bake a pie as good as me, Tracey,” Tasha chided, laughing. “Nina makes a better pie than both of us but that girl don’t wanna cook.”

Tracey smirked when she saw the look on Sidney’s face. “Oh no, Tash, now this boy gonna be begging my daughter to make him a pie.”

Everyone laughed as Nina was in a different room. Mawmaw chided, “I’m happy that one of my family don’t got to be in the kitchen like that. I wish I could’ve been the same at her age.”

Sidney decided to scroll his phone as the older women began to argue. Then he felt someone tap his shoulder.

“White boy, you wanna play spades?”

Sidney looked at this cousin of Nina. He was sitting at a table with Vernon, one of her aunts, and another cousin. “No,” he replied, shaking his head. 

The cousin got a devious grin on his face. “It’s easy, you should play for Shantara, she can’t play for shit.”

Sidney’s competitive instinct told him it was a bad idea. And from the way Vernon was eyeing him, Sidney knew he was right for shaking his head. “Nope. I’ll learn by watching.”

“Nina’s white boy smart,” Aunt Tasha hollered. “You play spades and renege, boy, someone about to go for those knees.”

“Stop torturing, Sid, Deonte,” Nina scolded as she sat in Sidney’s lap. “At least wait til the second visit before hazing him over spades.”

“I like this boy, Nini. Keep him, he’s betta than that last boy you brought here, bless his heart. Didn’t know how to talk to people,” Mawmaw advised. 

Nina wanted to die as the rest of her family snickered. Holidays: the time of the year where your greatest fuckups get rehashed for shits and giggles. 

Nafis snorted. “What’s his name... it wasn’t that Ron boy, was it? Naw, it was James’s old friend, Jordan. We all knew he wasn’t shit, I mean, nothing, when he made Tommy mad.”

Nina winced as remembered that. Tommy was one of the sweetest guys and hard to rile up, but anyone who could make cousin Tommy mad was a douchebag. 

“Her pets like him. Tess curls in his lap and Steely lets him pet him,” Vernon said. 

Everyone stared at Sidney, eyes wide. Stuttering, Aunt Tasha said, “T-t-that cat and d-dog hate every damn body other than Nini and her family. I be damned.”

Mawmaw laughed.

The rest of the dinner went without incident. But at a quiet moment, Vernon pulled Sidney from the group to a quiet spot in the yard. It was late November in Western Pennsylvania so no one else was there. 

Vernon Jackson had seen more of his fair share of crap in his life. Growing up in Ward 8 of D.C., Vernon had dodged dealers, hustlers, stick-up kids, etc. to survive. His grades weren’t great so Vernon went into the army to ensure that he escaped. Through being deployed in the Gulf War then to Mogadishu, Vernon had done his best to make sure that all his children had more than he did growing up. 

Now, his sweettart, his eldest, his sweet girl, Nina was grown. She had done more than he and Tracey combined. But looking at the man he was sure his daughter was in love with, Vernon began to wonder if he made a mistake. 

Oh, it was obvious that Sidney Crosby was in love with his daughter. But the feelings of love could fade and given his history, Vernon couldn’t trust that Crosby would do the right thing. 

So as a loving father, Vernon pulled Sidney to the side. “I just wanted to ask you something important before I give my blessing to this.”

“Yes, sir,” Sidney responded. 

“You know your children will be considered Black?”

Vernon watched Sidney’s face after asking that question. Lust and infatuation was nice but this was his little girl. The last thing he wanted was his daughter hurt because she fell for someone not just clueless but maliciously clueless about race. 

Sidney quietly replied, “I know. People will see them as Black and will think the worst of them first.”

Not bad, Vernon thought. He expected a colorblind response.

Then he heard Nina call out, “Dad? Sid? We are about to cut the cake!”

Vernon and Sid both grimaced but for different reasons. Vernon because he couldn’t really have cake because of his diabetes, Sid because cake wasn’t on his meal plan. Vernon told Sidney, “before you start making plans for rings, you need to start thinking about how you are going to start speaking up about race. Think about that.”

**

Sidney kept Vernon’s words in his mind through the week. Trina had told him what happened in the bathroom that night but Nina told him that his mom had handled it for her. But as he waited for Nina to open her door, Sidney couldn’t help but think what he could do to avoid situations like that from happening for Nina. But words failed as Nina opened the door and gave him a shy smile. 

“Hi pretty girl,” Sidney drawled as he walked in, closing the door. He hung up his coat on her coat rack before sitting on Nina’s couch.

“I missed you daddy”

“Missed you, pretty girl. Did you have fun?”

Nina straddled Sid’s thigh and replied, “it was a good time even though UNC lost. The VT campus is beautiful. How was the road trip?”

Sid laughed as Nina played with his hair. “It went well but Geno got hurt. He’ll be out for two weeks.”

“That sucks.”

Sidney hummed his assent as he wrapped an arm around Nina’s waist. He missed his pretty girl and it seemed like she missed him too. They sat there together for several quiet moments before Nina whispered, “I really missed you, daddy. It’s been too long.”

Sidney gave Nina a slow smile as she began to grind on his thigh. He felt the same way as he kissed Nina, soft and slow. Then as they broke apart, the sensual haze on Nina’s face turned into horror.  “God damn it,” she muttered. 

Sidney frantically asked, “What’s wrong, baby?”

“I just felt my period show up, three days early,” Nina said, rubbing her temples. Her period was cock-blocking her after a couple weeks of no dick and she wanted to die. “I just felt cramps and as much as I’d like to slide to my knees and suck you off, it won’t happen tonight.”

Nina groaned as she closed her eyes, head down. Sidney just started to laugh. 

“Cmon, pretty girl. Let’s just watch movies tonight.”

“Movies sound good,” Nina replied, “I just refuse to watch Friends, ever.”

Sidney giggle-honked as Nina moved from straddling his thigh to curling into his lap.